Well...I`m a 20 yr. old single mom who has a big problem. First of all, my daughter, Erin, is 11 months old. The problem is, my ex-boyfriend abused me. I was in a 2 yr. relationship and I thought that he was "the one". The bad stuff, I thought, was just some of the bad things that happened in a relationship because other than that ours was great. I would get pushed around, yelled at a lot, and even called names. I decided to end things finally after I got my big wake up call, which was when he tried to strangle me. To make a long story straight, I thought that he was going to spend our money on drugs so I hid it. I know it was a bad thing for me to do, but I was scared. He kept demanding it until he put his hands around my throat. The thing that turned everything around was that the baby was right beside me when all this happened. I`m not too sure if anyone else can relate, I hope so because I don`t want to feel alone anymore. This all just hurts, and it will still hurt for a long time, especially since I have to testify against him in court. If anyone out there has any advice/comments..I`d apprieciate them..you can email me at Saria_Princess4u@hotmail.com Thanks a lot for reading this long msg.

I can definitely relate, and I SINCERELY empathize with you. The relationship that you describe sounds very similar to my marriage. Only, regretfully, I stayed almost 10 years. My children are now 8 and 9 years old, and they have been subject to things that they never should have been. For a long time I was able to justify staying for my children. After all, the abuse was intermittent. He could be a wonderful, caring man when he chose to be. I also worked alot to compensate for his "spending" and mistakenly thought that it was only me he was abusive to. Since having him physically removed from the house I have found that he was abusive to my children as well.

The three of us have had to work through alot of hurt, anger, and guilt, but trust me when I say, though it takes time, it does get better.

Stay strong and keep faith!!
~Secha

Ladies, for one it is never your fault when a man puts his hands on you. That is not a man. And you are hearing this from a single father. Being pushed and shoved and called names IS NOT PART OF A RELATIONSHIP. There is never a reason to get physical with your partner other than the intimate kind. I have been in two relationships that my ex cheated on me and I caught them both in the act. Even with that I tried to make things better. But I never called them names or put my hands on them. If you have to testify against you boyfriend then do so. remember, your child is the number one concern here. And not all men are like that. some of us do have a heart and are compationate conciderate and kind and would rather hug you than hit you. good luck to you both and God Bless