I left my abusive ex a year ago. I have a 2 year old daughter. I'm just getting used to this single mom thing. it's been so difficult for me.

I started dating a co-worker who I've known for a couple years. We worked right next to each other and he knew me through the whole separation and divorce. he's a sweet, gentle man - - totally different from my ex. I care about him very much. we were friends first and we've been dating now for about 8 months. he has some social phobias and is afraid of intimacy and commitment i think, but he's said in the past that in spite of those fears, he still wants those things with me. i love him and i know he loves me, but i've been bringing up long term plans and he won't talk about it at all - - I don't want to waste my time. also, i don't want to be too attached to someone who is never going to commit. i'm fed up because i feel like he always sends me mixed messages. at the same time, i'm afraid to break things off because i love him and i feel like i won't find anyone else. i need some advice.

You need to change your thinking.

I doubt you are in love. You are afraid of being alone. What are you afraid of? That you won't like spending time with you? Anyway, there is ALWAYS someone else foe everyone. So you can stop thinking that way.

What concerns me is your obvious low self-esteem. You need to work on that both for oyu and your child. Spend some time getting to know you and what you like to do - by yourself. Do you have anyone that can babysit so you can have some time alone? Take youself to the movies. Take a class at the local school. Or jsut sit and do puzzles. You have to be your own person and not depend on someone else for happiness. I think most women struggle with this. I did!

Good luck. Feel good about you!