what is the most effective and kindest way to tell someone, who you went on a date with, that your not interested?

Maybe, You know I think I made a mistake and I'm just not ready or interested in dating. I had a nice time, but I'd rather not continue seeing you. Or well you are looking for effective so I think you have to just get it out there and be honest. (OK maybe it sounds painful for both but heck, I don't minse words anymoreLOL No time to waste on that and I htink if you beat around the bush you are just asking for him to try a few more times to ask you out or to hurt him. Honesty is the best policy. (I actually think what I wrote is a bit softened up.)

I would just tell the person straight up you are very nice but I think I jumped into dating and I am not ready .I hope you can find someone who is looking for a relationship.

If he is a jerk tell him to run Forest Run

yeah did that, and he won't leave me alone, told him I did not want commitment, and have stressed it over and over and now I get persistent emails.......we have been friends for a long time and I think he has had a crush on me for the whole time, but did not know this, but this is getting insane, sad thing is he lives a few houses away. and I feel bad, but I am braking his heart I guess.

Oh noooo. Not a fun situation for either of you. What is he doing begging you to give it another shot? Do you answer the emails and phonecalls, etc?

Keepinghope-I am finally at the end of a similar situation. I do not think you can remain friends if he insists that you should be a couple. Mine still thinks we will be married one day and there isn't any chance of that ever happening. After I broke things off he continued to e-mail me and send me letters. We work together so the closeness is also a problem. About a month ago I finally responded to his e-mail and told him not to contact me outside of work in any fashion or I would consider it harassment and take appropriate actions. He responded to that by saying I did not need to be threatening, but I let it go and I have not received anything from him outside of work since. Hopefully this info will help your situation as well. It is a hard thing to go through, you don't want to break their hearts, but we don't want to end up in an unsatisfied relationship either.

I agree that honesty is the best policy. You can always try to let someone down easy, but if they do not get the hint, I think you have to be very blunt. Make sure you are not "beating around the bush"

In the end - it's always better to treat someone as you'd have them treat you (as clich�' as that sounds) - I believe it's true.

I hope it does not get to the point that you have to worry about being harassed.

I think he finally got the hint, i had to be very forward and kind of mean, I told him after one date this is thekind of behavoir he is showing me and that is why I don't want to be invovled, he came to my house crying and said he was sorry, I won't contact him, but will leave it alone, he too thinks someday we will marry, I mean it was one date!

I think we can safely say, he's too needy! I'm glad he got the hint.

I hung out with a guy a few weeks back... along with a group of mutual friends. He ended up calling me several times a day, and text'd me to tell me he had "lost his heart" ... I was very honest with him about not being interested in anything beyond platonic friends. But... I was shocked that someone would come on so strong, after just meeting. We didn't even go on a date!

Hang in there!

Hey Ladies~~~

Just curious - Does anyone believe that a person can know 100% that they are "IN LOVE" after a couple of dates or a couple of months?

I too have a friend that I went on a couple of dates with. I have been completely and advised that I have not intentions of getting into a serious relationship. He and I went to high school together and I hoped to maintain a friendship with him even though I'm not interested in more. He insisted on bringing lunch to me at work today (he now works in the same area.) Every time I see he talks about how he "KNOWS" I'm the one for him and he will wait as long as it takes. Each time I respond with... I have no plans to date - I plan on making up for lost time with my kiddies (from school etc.)

Should I break off all contact? I worry that even though he hears me, he's not Really hearing me...?

OHH, MJ. It sounds very similar to what I have just recently been through. The statement "he hears me, he's not really hearing me" was so true in my situation. I really don't know what to advise other than see if he gets the message, but don't wait too long!

PM me if you need to.

Too needy, isn't listening, you may have to cut him off at the knees.

Thank you both. I hadn't seen him for quite awhile until he insisted on bringing lunch today. Every time I talk to him (which is not often,) he immediately comments about fate, what's in the stars, how he admires me. One comment in particular - "It's too bad you're not ready for a relationship because I am SO ready to be your man!" After a couple months.. a couple of days actually.

He just called to ask if I enjoyed my lunch, if I plan on coming to visit for cookouts this summer (Um no - I'm moving out of town,) if I still planned to help him clean his yard (he mentioned briefly 2 months ago,) and finally - If he even has a chance with me. I told him once again I don't want to date, etc. etc. I usually follow up with - friendship is fine. Didn't this time. If he calls this weekend, I'll clearly state that I'd rather he doesn't call anymore.

I think that is probably the right move MJ. Good luck and keep us posted.

I'm a romantic fool ... I still believe in love at first sight - BUT ... the key to this working is "mutual attraction" ... if both people do not feel the same - and one person is persistant and, let's say over bearing ... it's not a good thing. He might KNOW - but if you don't KNOW - he should keep his feelings to himself, and take it slow right along with you. My 2 cents :-)