I have been thinking about this for a while. I have been a single mom since the day my son was conceived and have no regrets about that. I've dated several men throughout the past 7 1/2 years, but none that have stuck. My last serious relationship was over almost 4 years ago. I have found it difficult to actually get out and meet someone new. That's not to say I haven't dated in all that time, but I am too scared to get deeply involved w/someone. So my question is how do you know it is time to get back out there and try it all again, risking your heart and sanity?

I'd like to know too, because I still haven't had a real relationship. With all that I've dated...nothing beyond 4 consecutive months comes to mind. Even the one that told me we were getting married didn't get farther than that...and he just through that out there to keep me from finding out about his other girlfriends and so I'd watch his kids.

You both have been hurt I see. And basically the advice is for you to let the baggage go or else being lonely is what you are looking at for the rest of your life, something you can avoid by letting it go and moving on.

If you started dating a man or a woman and he tells you that I can"t trust you, I will never trust you because my ex cheated on me or lied or whatever may be the case that broke the trust.

Would you feel this was unfair for judging you for something the ex had did to them and you did'nt. In a sense this is exactly what you are doing you are afraid everyone is going to hurt you which is not the case.And you are judging them by someone elses actions.

You have been through a relationship that hurt you, there were red flags that told you that he/she is a liar , cheater what ever the case may be.
Look for the red flags, dont be guarded from giving someone the chance of knowing you or you knowing them, just look for red flags if you find one, check it out.

Everyone has been hurt one way or another.
Your not the only one who is guarding yourself from being hurt again. There are always red flags for people who are out to hurt others its up to you to pick up on them and eithier check them out or end it.

Whittney

I know that there are red flags and I don't pre-judge someone to be like all the losers I've dated. My question, though, is how do you know that you are ready to find "the one"? I'm not hurting any more as the relationships of my past were ended quite a while ago. I think I'm ready to move on, but I'm still scared of getting back out there. I don't know if I'm really ready, or if I'm just lonely. When does the light go off that says, "It's time to move on and jump in with both feet"?

You might dip in the wading pool...a toe at a time? See how the water feels?

I seem to always find ones that are as cold as ice. Any suggestions on heated pools?

OMG Why don't you two call eachother on the phone? LOL

Phone bill is already outrageous and Yahoo chat doesn't keep up either!!

Besides, if someone else would give advice on this, we wouldn't amuse ourselves. We are asking for your help! Any advice on this subject?

Although...I'm about to get unlimited long distance.... Why don't you guys just get it over with and tell us we talk too much? I would like to explain, that my life has been saved by this board. I had lost all hope that people out there related to me at all. I had given up on being a person, and had decided that I was doomed to be just a mother. Finding Tysmom, well that is a bonus that you all seem to have to suffer. Unfortunately, she thinks one thing and I finsh her thought before she thinks it all out. Its amazing to find a friend like that, and we have tried to behave on here and PM and message on messenger. Usually, she and I are typing our replies at the same time, and don't even know it til we hit post. I apologize for the overload of the system. You'll notice I'm trying to be quiet this morning....

*Beaten again by Tysmom to post...see I told you so

Well I cant awnser that, when I went to dating after my divorce, I jumped right in without hesitation.
Your not going to find the "ONE" unless you are least out there doing something to find the "ONE".
Try a dating site and go from there to test the water.Even though I personally do not recommend them. In your case they might be a good thing since you are not so sure.

Whittney

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Blindsky75:
[QB] Why don't you guys just get it over with and tell us we talk too much? I would like to explain, that my life has been saved by this board.


I hear ya...and I'm just kidding...

I don't know the answer to this question and I'm waiting for someone else to answer this. I haven't a clue. My life feels complete as it is, so I don't really feel like I am missing anything...it's been too long for me. I catch sh$# about this very same subject all the time from my friends and family. I couldn't even begin to tell anybody how to start. Sorry.

Thanks.

Hi Guy's I thought I would add my input.
Blindsky/Ty's mom.I personally think it is good to see you two having a little fun and bouncing off each other.I must admit I have had a few chuckles at each of your's remarks.
I do believe we have a Sense of Humour outbreak...

In the end that is what the site is about.It is the support that counts,whether that be Moral,Friendly or just a little fun.


Mark

We know that there are people who would like for us to just shut up. We both feel very fortunate to have found this site. I know that just 1 month ago I would not have felt up to the banter that goes back and forth in here, let alone sharing with anyone. I am a much better person today for the advice and stories that are shared on here. Besides, we really do have serious sides when it really counts.

Now back to the subject at hand. I don't feel incomplete by any stretch of the imagination, especially now with all my new friends, but I do get lonely. Everyone keeps asking when I'm going to get married. I don't see the need to get married. I would, however, like to have someone to spend time with and love. That is what I'm having problems with, I guess, is letting myself be free to find someone that I could have the possibility of a future with. I don't need another person to make myself whole, just someone to be with and not feel so lonely any more. By the way, I don't think a dating service/site is the way to go for me personally.