I am in a mostly wonderful relationship-first one since divorce 3 years ago. We live 1 hour apart, he has 2 girls, I have 1 boy, we both have typical busy lives and careers; we see eachother 2-3 times per month. 8 months have passed, we have expressed sincere love for eachother and have vacationed together twice. I have yet to meet his girls, tho. We had set a date and he cancelled; said he wasn't ready; he is fearful of their questions about me and how to answer them. I am a little frustrated but I have tried to be understanding and try to not take it personally, although I am a little hurt. He is a quiet, shy, reserved type. Never discusses his marriage and is short on info about his past in general. I am an open book. My gut says to wait for him to make the date for meeting his daughters, so I have decided not to bring it up at all. In fact, he was the one who initiated it last time and then acted like he had never suggested it when I asked him if our plans were still on. Do I play the patient waiting game or is this a red flag that I am not seeing? Am I reading too much into his hesitation? He has told me several times that he is very protective of his girls and that he's never done this before. Help! Thanks to all. LouLou

Everything else good in the relationship? Any other red flags?
I ask because it's not a bad thing to wait to involve the kids into a relationship. There are a lot of discussions about that throughout the forum, talk of safeguarding our children against the "revolving door" of short term relationships. Without knowing more about the relationship, how much it looks like it will become permanent or not it's hard to say about the time frame.....I read plenty that say 6 months, a year, I think most do not put a set time frame on it but rather more of a determination of whether it's going to last or not.
I'd say continue open conversations about it. Let him know how you feel about it but also don't push too hard either.
Actually, I do have a question.....has he already met your son, activities together?

Just to share with you. I got a book from the library. It was called red flags. Basically the book was being in the dating world and being away of when red flags pop up. I don't know how the rest of your relationship is just what you have said on here. I do agree with Don when it comes to the part about meeting children there should be a lot of caution for a lot of good reasons. However, if you have been dating for that long now and he will not open up to you soon, I would seriously wonder if he has a communication problem. If that is the case you may want to take that into serious consideration with going forward. If it is just a matter of time and trust then that's different. My suggestion is for you to figure that one out. I know (just my opinion) I would not want to be with someone on a premenant basis with serious communication issues. It may be a matter of him just being shy. It sounds like at this point he should start opening up to you soon! Good luck.

Has he dated before as a single father? If he was in a relationship and it went bad and it was hard on his kids that could be part of the problem.