So my very closest friend is also a single mother of three kids. Our oldest sons are exactly three weeks apart in age and her twins are exactly nine months older than my youngest. Our families were inseparable when we were stationed together in GA and in the past two years we've both found ourselves divorced military mothers of three. Funny how things work out. Here's the problem every guy she has dated in the past year and i do mean EVERY GUY has a "coffee" obsession. An obsession so intense that every relationship prior to her including their marriages have all been "open" relationships. Now I'm not a prude but I do not and will not understand the need for an open relationship when you're married or even dating exclusively. So while she does not participate in these activities (to my knowledge) she seems to attract these guys. The other problem is that most of them turn out to be "separated" instead of divorced with no real time frame as to when said divorce will be final. I feel really bad for her b/c I know that she really wants to be in a good relationship. The current guy seems really nice and actually has the paperwork to prove he's getting divorced, but once again had an open relationship with his wife. While he's told my friend that he doesn't expect her to want that type of relationship, I just don't see how suddenly he can become monogamous with one person. What advice should I give her. I wish I lived closer to her so that I could make a better judgment call about these guys but I am going out west to visit her in a week. I just wish that she could see in herself what I see in her and know that she's worth so much more than these guys.

Well maybe he was in an open relationship with his ex wife because it helped them through an unhappy marriage. Now they're divorcing. Maybe he wants an exclusive relationship just as much as she does, but a happy one.

I know your friend is wanting a serious relationship, but could it be that subconsciously she's afraid? There's got to be a reason why she's gravitating towards these type of men.

I guess the only advice I'd give her is to not sleep with him. See where his credibility lies.

A married man or a separated one, cannot give your friend a whole, commited, and complete relationship. If that is not what she wants... then I suppose it's okay... if there are no children involved.

What is sad is sometimes these men (or women) make promises they are not able to fulfill. That is all it was... nice thoughts.

I could never understand a friend of mine who would tell me she had an incredible time with her married date. I asked her how does it feel knowing he went home to his wife, let the dog out, and is probably sitting in the living room with the children. or How can she respect him if he locked himself in his den disengaged in his children's home?

It just seems a lot of heartache surrounds married dates.