Ok, this may get long, just to prepare you.

Here is the story. Me, my boyfriend, and my daughter, moved to Texas from Ohio (late September) to get out of a bad situation with an ex of mine. When we moved here things were kinda tough (ie: finding jobs, etc.) Well things got a little better when he found a job, but then we found out I was pregnant. And I couldnt work. Things went downhill from there. We fought all the time, and it seemed like the stress from everything around us, was just pushing our relationship to the edge. Now by February, we were engaged, and planned to marry by the time the new baby is to be born (this coming May). But everything changed again, and we were back to fighting, and he became someone I didnt recognize as himself. He was always putting me down and saying how I didnt do anything, the baby wasnt his, etc. We broke up here recently, and I asked him to leave the house. He went to stay with a mutual friend. And after about a week and a half, we were still talking and it had seemed that things had changed. Like maybe he had changed. I went to visit him and it was like I was seeing the old man I fell in love with. So... I invited him back home. He has been home for about three days now. And it seems as though things are just going back to the way they were, he seems to have not changed a bit, like maybe the person I saw when I visited him, was just a front. I was thinking maybe its just my horomones, being pregnant does take a toll on those, as anyone reading this who have children, already know. But, Im scared because I am just not sure what to do about this. My dad is coming home tonight, and he is upset with my boyfriend for some of the things he said to me, and of course (hes my dad) for hurting me. And I know he is going to want to talk with my boyfriend. And I feel like its going to go in one ear and out the other. My boyfriend knew my dad was coming home in about an hour, so he took off on a walk. I think he is trying to avoid the whole talk. Which... in certain ways I cant blame him, my dad is kinda old fashioned.

But anyways... I dont know what I am asking... just maybe for someone elses take on the situation. Am I overreacting? Or am I taking this too lightly? I just dont know what to do anymore. Any comments would surely help.

Thank You
Sarah

First off, welcome to SFV.

I would suggest that you take a long hard look at his behavior and ask your self what you would tell your daughter to do in that type of a relationship and that is what you should do.
If it was me, I would kick him to the curb like a dirty diaper. I know it is hard especially while you are pregnant. But know one should be allowed to treat another person like that. I asked my ex to leave and let her take our 4 month old daughter, because of the way she treated me and the boys, and I had to fight like crazy to get custody of my daughter, but I know I did the right thing for me and my boys. No one should stay in a relationship where they are not treated with love and respect.

Good luck, and best wishes, Dali

when i was pregnant with my son, his father just up and left me one day... about a month or so before i was to give birth to our son, he showed back up on my doorstep and begged me to take him back... like a fool i took him back and let him move back in cuz i wanted to make things work for the baby... well, after the baby was born he continued to treat me like **** and i could only take it so long until i kicked him out.. i found out the reason he came back to me was cuz he had no place else to go and just wanted a roof over his head... i mean i would let him **** all over me, but once our son was born, i realized that he was not only hurting me anymore but also our son... he was not working and i could not work at the time, so i realized that he was not willing to make sure that our son's neccessities were taken care of and that made me angry... so i finally got up the courage to kick him to the curb...
you need to think long and hard about your situation... i mean you already have a daughter and if he is putting you down and all in front of her, that is not a good thing... and the fighting is also not so great for your daughter either and she can sense stress.. so you need to think about yourself, your daughter, and the baby you are carrying... what is best for all of you... i know it is a hard decision to make but it is a decision that only you can make...
best of luck to you...
joyce

Sounds like my ex and I. He would always put me down when we fought, call me names- very bad names. Then act like it wasn't a big deal. I left him when I was right around 5 months pregnant with my son. Like how I say MY son. Leave the guy, he isn't worth the pain. I can guarantee that!!!
Jessie

Quote:
I would suggest that you take a long hard look at his behavior and ask your self what you would tell your daughter to do in that type of a relationship and that is what you should do.

Great advice Dali.

Is there a difference between being physicaly abusive and verbably abusive. They are both damaging. Be careful Sarah.

Wow! Mommie Sarah sounds like you have a plate full, but it seems to me that no one has addressed the fact that the boyfriend/fiance my be going through some emotions. sounds like he did not expect the second child and the thought of the disminishing space as well as the financial problems that you are having have worn him down. In cases like these one partner always lashes out at the other.

I could be wrong but he showed a major commitment to you by moving to another state because of your problems with your ex not his. Doesn't sound right that after making that type of commiment he would change his spots. I think if you look a little deeper you may find that like you need a shoulder in your present circumstances he may be in need of one as well.

Thank you to everyone who replied. I really appreciate the advice. I will post an update later on when I see how things go. This place is very helpful.

you should find someone who is a little more stable

It all sounds like me and my soon to be ex husband. I think you should get rid of him it will be better for everyone in the long run.