In an accidental drama with my BF I told him I was in Love with him. Which is true, I just didn't think I should have said it this early on (together 6months). The issue really isn't that I said it, I can't help the ways I feel, but the way he took it was not what I expected. All I got at the time was "I feel that way to baby" which to me means nothing. The problem is I want to talk to him about it and he blows it off. We talked this morning and he totally disregarded anything I said about the "incident" and focused on another issue all together. I need to know if this relationship is still worth it, or if I should save the heart break and move on. I know I can't force someone to love me and I don't want to but I do want to at least have a vague idea of how he's feeling right now. I am in a really vulnerable position and he's just leaving me hanging. Any suggestions as to what I should do, or how I should approach this?

I think honesty is the best approach, but you need to be honest with yourself as well as with him. You need to decide if you are willing to waste time waiting for him to make up his mind, if you are not then you need to move on as hard as that is to do. If you are willing to wait, you need to decide how long are you willing to wait. And then you need to tell him that you need to discuss this issue and don't let him put you off. If you do, you are setting a precedent for him to put you off in the future about something else that may come up.

Sometimes you can love someone even thou they may not love you back. I for one could not stay in that type of a relationship. I couldn't stay in a relationship where they said they loved me, but didn't show it or make me feel it. But I am not you, you have to decide what you want in a relationship, not what you will settle for, because that will end in heartbreak. But what you want, and then that is what you should be striving for. I hope that you find the man that can give you the love you want, but if this one is not the one, then move on. Because not only will you get hurt, but your child will end up hurt as well.

I wish you good luck, Dali

well maybe he was just surprised to hear it and he is not quite ready to say those three words just yet... i don't think there is any time table to telling someone that you love them.. i am one to jump in head first and although i tried to slow things down this time, i still fell quick and hard for my current boyfriend... although, i do believe that this one is the "ONE" for me... when i told him that i loved him, his first response was "i know, i can see it in your eyes".... i show my emotions and feelings on my sleeve and that is a dead give away.... then he told me that he loved me too, since the first time he saw me walking across the parking lot...
sorry, i guess i got side tracked...
i agree with everything dali said, but like i said maybe he is just not ready to say those three words yet... i think sometimes men have a harder time expressing their feelings, so maybe give it a little more time... but only you can make the decisions on what you want to do about the situation...
good luck..
joyce

So we talked finally this afternoon. Apparently he was playing "man" as he called and trying to ignor the issue in hopes that it goes away. Anyways he basically said he wasn't ready to say "I Love You" because he wants it to be perfect, and for the time being I have to trust that he feels the same or similar anyways. So I guess I can live with that for now. I was just feeling really vulnerable and I think I'm ok for the time being. I just really needed to know where he stood and he at least gave me that. Thanks for the advice Dali you kicked my butt into not letting him get away with avoiding the conversation and in the end it worked out.

Im in a bit of a similiar situation myself. I told him I loved him and his response was to run and hide for a few days!! He came back and said he loved me too, in his own special way, but that he wasnt ready for a committment or love and it frightened him

Now we are in the process of figuring out what to do with our relationship next. He would be happy for it to go along as is, where I want more of a committment from him, such as being exclusive. I honestly think its a dead end here! But its very hard to let go.

It sounds like your guy has feelings for you too, hes just having a problem getting over that hump!! Give him sometime, stay as you have been, and dont pressure him. Im sure it will turn out for the best.

Wow! I just had a friend tell me that his girlfriend and him had that situation. A few months ago.
He is aprihensive about the 4 letter word to. I think he e-mailed convertations went on all day.....
But I can see that he is settling into a great relationship and I am happy for them.
Some guys need to say it first before they can not be scaired of it comming from you.
Just remember you have your hole life to be together. If you stress out about it you will make a problem. Remember the comunication between you 2 is one of the most importent.
God bless!

quote:

Originally posted by Meandher:
[qb] Thanks for the advice Dali you kicked my butt into not letting him get away with avoiding the conversation and in the end it worked out. [/qb]

I am glad my advice helped. Best of luck to you.

Dali

So meandher, how did it turn out?

orked out . We are still together, and he assures me that he cares allot about me and is just not ready to say "love" in a sentence hahaha. Anyways he wants it to be perfect the first time he says it. Unlike me who fly's by the seat of my pants, he is a little more calculated and planned. He even has a 10 year plan that so far he's followed to the tee. I on the other hand...well I'm a parent hhahaha!