Wondering if there's anyone out there who is a single adoptive parent. I've just recently adopted an older child and am looking for someone in like circumstances to just chat with.

I am not an adoptive parent but did want to drop a line to say " Congrats" and how wonderfull you are to have opened your home, world and life to a child.

Lots of love to you and yours.

Dawn

not an adoptive mommy eihter but i am an adoptee and thank you for giving your child a new home. i don't know how old your new child is but if he/she is very young when they become older and they know they will love you even more. i know there are days i thank my mom everyday for giving me a good chance a life.

congrats on your new child and i wish the best of luck to you and your child.

smvt

Hi!

I am a single, adoptive mom. I got my little girl at two days old, and then 363 days later, I got her half brother at two days old. I even got to see him in the nursery in the hospital. I fostered them for the first three years, while I fought with the system to adopt. I have an old history of bipolar disorder that got blown way out of proportion and I had to sue DCFS for custody. It took a year, but DCFS finally said, "Woops, we were wrong," and changed their mind. The kids are special needs (speech and physical delays) and therefore get a state stipend plus their adoption money, plus social security. I am able to be a stay at home mom with them, and I spend my "free time" writing novels. I hope to sell one soon, I do have an agent and that's the first step in the right direction.

So the kids are now 4 and 3. How old is your child?

Tess

Hello, everyone. I am new to this board. I am a single adoptive mom to 2 beautiful girls 13 and 8. I adopted from out of state from the foster care system. I am now working on my third and last placement. I'd love to be able to share experiences. Right now my 13 year old is having anger management problems that are in relation to attachment issues and puberty. Yuk! Both of my girls are fun, intellgent, and creative, even with things I wish they weren't

Hi! Im a single adoptive mom to two beautiful boys from Ethiopia! They have just been home almost three months!!! They are 9 and one is about to be 10!!! Its hard work, but worth every bit of it!!!

If you've got cultural adjustment issues, talk to me about it. I grew up in Nigeria, W. Africa. It is very third world and has a tendency towards violence.

You are so lucky to be a new mom! I hope the boys are doing well with adjustment.

Single Adoptive mom to a seven year old boy. Anger management issues, attachment issues, control issues, anxiety issues, Post Traumatic Stress, the list goes on.

However, he's bright, creative, athletic, the list goes on.

Wondering how Franki from March of 2002 is doing. The one at the beginning of this thread. Wondering, too, if Sunflower Central and Just Adopted are still around.

Would love to chat...
Deb

Hello, Deb. Thanks for inquiring about me. I haven't been on the message board in EONS! When I saw the date that I had a posted, I almost fell out of my chair. It doesn't seem like it was only in 2002 (although we did just have our Coming Home celebration in February). I feel like my girl has always been a part of my life. Maybe it's simply that my life really started when she came into it (so I wax sentimental).

We are doing amazingly well! God has really blessed this family. I hear over and over how much she looks like me and has similar mannerisms to me. People are amazed when they find out she was adopted (she's usually the one to enlighten them - she's very proud of that fact).

Most recently, though, I have been confronted with some identity issues. She wants to use the name her birth parents gave her (including the last name) and she's been asking a lot about her birth parents (she's almost nine years old now - this is happening earlier than I expected). She seems to be struggling with wanting to be in my family and wanting to be in her Haitian family. I'm struggling as well as with what to do for her. I do hope to make a trip to Haiti but was planning it for her 13th birthday (approach into the terrible teens).

Well, that's the nuts and bolts of it. In general, we are doing very well.

Blessings to all!
Franki

Franki-

Glad to hear you are still out there and doing well. My son, too, is grieving his birthfamily. He does a lot of fantasy-play...his birthfather "is looking for me and missing me so much, Mom."

There is a loyalty and longing for the birthfamily. A grieving for the "what could have been."

I've had to learn very quickly that there is no room for insecurity. He needs to know, by my actions, facial expressions, all nonverbals and verbals, that him talking and wishing about his birth family, and subsequent caretakers is essential to his healing process and does not change my love for him.

Blessings to you as you continue on with your daughter and her sense of belonging. I'd love to continue conversations with you when you have time!

Sincerely,

Deb

Hello all...... I am in the process of trying to adopt as a single parent and reading all our stories was just what I needed. There are times I wonder if am only one out there that is single and trying to adopt but coming here reminded me there are plenty of us out there....

Hi Franki

I am new to SFV.. and also adoptive mom. I adopted a 6yr old who will be turning 8 next month. How old is your child. I am in VA, feel free to contact me.