Alright, without intention of offending anybody...why is it that I see single mothers driving around this town in BRAND NEW VEHICLES, living in BRAND NEW CONDOS and wear BRAND NEW CLOTHING, going out all the time having what they need, what they want and all the rest...AND THEY DON'T WORK?
I work 6 full days a week on average, at a job that pays well above minimum wage...and I can't afford to pay my stinking phone bill? Even if I were to attempt to use the system, kharma would kick me in the butt. I just don't get it, how some people skate through life without working for a thing, and other people bust their butts and can hardly get by...
In case it's not obvious, i'm having a day of bitterness....

My friend Charlie who liked to invite us over for breakfast and make pancakes and coffee and what not for us liked to say that he was rich because he had us, his friends.

Pamella I hear ya. I look around and I think damn how do you do this. I work full time for the government no less, apparently I make to much money for them to help me but not enough to make it above poverty line. Now a lazy friend of mine gets her day care paid for, gets trained for school and gets funding and does nothing with it. I have tried and yeah like you they would catch me. In fact they did. When I went on medical leave I don't have benefits so I had to go on EI well 400.00 a month doesn't cut it so tried going back to work and collect at the same time. NAILED!!! I have people who live beside me and she works 4 days a month because they don't deduct that from her chegues, she lives with some guy who also collects from the system and they both drive and everything is always paid on time and I am trying to balance hot lunch days for the school and the air I breath. I could go on and on about this but it makes me angry. Yes be bitter I am bitter everytime I am up at 5am to go to work and couldn't sleep all night because they were up hooping it up. Yes they have kids and everything else, but my family allowance is going down because I make TO MUCH MONEY LOLOLOLOLOLOL. I want to know where it goes. I am now getting a car but have also decided to get a second job to make sure I can pay for it so they boys and I have some sort of freedom. There down complaining for now.

Well, they say that money says alot. To me it's only said "Goodbye!!"

Absolutely no offense taken whatsoever. Perhaps it's the ex's of these women who drive crappy cars, live in tiny apartments, wear worn out clothing, and work 60 hours a week so they can pay child support to make that car payment.

There's always the yin to the yang. I'm having a bitter day too. Actually, it's a leftover bitter day from a couple weeks ago when I got that child support check for $7.77...

Sheesh...We work too hard. It's making us angry.

Or when I work my butt off to bring my credit up for 3 years and find out that a friend of mine that filed bankruptcy a year ago aand has been blemish free for a year is getting loans that I would not qualify for!

..the more you stress about money...the more problems you'll have with it.

Nat has a very good point. Most of those people you see with the brand new cars and cloths, more than likely have so much debt and payments they are beside themselves. They just won't admit it.

A good friend of mine once told me that sometimes when you really care about someone you have to step on their toes. There comes a time in everyones lives when we are hurt by things that people say just for the fact that they are being honest, yet the honesty truly comes from the heart.

That said here it goes and I hope it comes off in a caring way, because those are my intentions. Please understand this is one of my passions. I want to see everyone and I mean everyone do well and live the dream. My wish for the world is to find contentment.

If you are angry about money and it is ruling your life it is time to turn it around and rule your money! People here have heard me on this subject before and I am going to say the same things. If it is not working change it! If it is broken, fix it. Complaining is not going to help. Take that energy and get motivated to do something about it.
Now you say "Who is she to say?" I had over $200,000.00 worth of debt plus everyday expenses. No, that is not a typo, I had that much debt. I felt lucky to buy a loaf of bread. I now live debt free. I have no car payment and no morgage. I did not come into money or do anything against the law. I payed it all off with good old fashion work, and you can too. Once you get started is becomes a snowball effect and gets better and better.
You can get out from under and start controlling your money. I know you can because I have been there. I also now do free advising through my church and have seen many many others do it, including a lot of single moms.
First thing you do is either get a hold of Dave Ramsey at DaveRamsey.com or go get some of his books from the library. The library is free and going to his site is too. Then start reading and follow the steps. He has some very easy steps to follow and how to get out from under. I use his program in my counseling and am a firm believer.
Yes, you will have to live without some things for a while, but then you will live with the greatest things.
No matter how much people try to say that money does not buy happiness and does not matter. Let's face reality it does matter. It matters because without it we live very stressful lives and with it we can live like no one else.
I know that I totally enjoy my kids a lot more now knowing that money is not a major problem. I know my monthly bills will be paid.

All of you can do this! Every one of you. You will make mistakes along the way. We all do, but you can do it. All it takes is some knowledge and practice.
"Total Money Make Over" by Dave Ramsey.
There is another book I really like because it does hit on a few things that Ramsey does not about how to cut every day expenses and that is "Automatic Millionaire" By David Bach.

I wish you all the best and pray that some day I see you post. "I am debt free and don't worry about money anymore"
God be with you.

You know it's funny how people say, "Money can't buy happiness." Yea, that's true to a point, cuz it's hard to be happy if you're burdened with bills and debt..

Pamella, lemme tell you something. I have alot of days where I feel very unappreciated for what I do. I wish that someone would just tell me "good job!" I probably don't carry alot of weight, but..

I know it's frustrating and exhausting to work 6 days a week just so you can live hand-to-mouth. Hamburgers again??? You get home, your feet ache all the way up you shins, then you have to cook dinner, fold the laundry, give baths.

No footrub for you. :angry: No one to say, "sit down and rest, Pammy. I'll take care of those dishes" :angry: I bet you're lucky to even get a shower in by the time it's time for bed. Do you ever collapse on the bed with all your clothes still on?? I bet you have. It's hard to get up at 5am and find time for a shower then.

Have you ever looked at your hands and wished you could get a manicure? I wish for pretty hands all the time.. and footrubs. I also wish my mom would look me in the eye and say, "I'm proud of you!"

I'm so there with you, Pam. I've heard those people say, "I only got $400 this month for support! I'm supposed to get $450!!" Well, the manicure going to have to wait till next month. La-de-freakin-da.

I'm proud of you Pamella. Thanks for everything you do. I appreciate it. Thanks for helping me feel like I'm not alone tonight.

I don't stress about money what I do stress about is the fact that I work for what I get and I enjoy working for it. What don't enjoy is watching people around me not working for anything, I agree with the fact that yes sometimes the person driving that new car is probably getting child support or whatever from the person living in the tiny apartment and not driving anything. I don't have debt until Wednesday then i am going to own my very first car ever in my life that will be mine (and the banks), but I have worked for it, my ex didn't pay for it, welfare didn't pay for it, and my kids won't pay for it. I work my butt off for everything that I get for me and the boys the money that I get from there Dad goes for them, that car and my debts that I have worked for 4 years to clear up will be mine. I am sorry I just think my biggest problem is looking at some people and thinking geez I would love the simple life of not working and staying at home with my kids and being with them but I can't, I am not one of those people but geez I wish I was. I know that the time I spend with them after work and before work is the best because we talk and do so much more stuff. I am sorry if I am sounding bitter again but I am.

Darnit 2m2c! You type faster then I do.. Hey, you said the same thing I did about buying happiness!!

I've heard of Dave Ramsey, they are considering offering his seminar through my church. Debt free living, so you can be a servant to the Lord instead of a servant to your creditors.

Sorry leftover.

Girls I am sorry if I make it sound like I do not understand. I do understand I really do. Leftover you are right. No one is there to say good job and help with the dishes. I to am lucky to get a shower before 10pm and that is if I am lucky.
I don't normally crash in the bed still dressed normally it is the chair. I run my tail off most of the time.
This is why when I see people having money trouble I try to get them the tools to change it. If you have a chance to learn Dave Ramsey take it. You will find that a lot will be lifted off your shoulders.
Like I said anyone can do it, anyone.
Dave Ramsey is a good man who really wants to see people do well also. I just share his dream. The things that I teach are learned mostly from him. I had to go to his class to learn how to be an advisor.

Dreamer I also understand being bitter. I too get that way at times. I had a daycare mom once tell me that I was angry at her because she had more than I do and that her kid was dressed better than mine are. She doesn't have a clue. You know the pride you were talking about, to me, takes care of that. There is pride in knowing that you did it and are doing it. You have that pride feed off of it. Feed off the bitterness too. It can empower you to get out from under, chanel it. I may be out of line here but if you can stop from getting into a car loan please do. Save the cash buy a car and not have to get a second job. Get the books I mentioned, read them and get on the road to wealth. You can do it! You can!

I think many of you misinterpretted what I was trying to say...
I'm not stressed about money...i'm tight for cash, but there's a difference.
I am a firm believer that the more money you have, the more money you need, and Money does not solve any problems, does not buy love.
The only thing I am trying to say is that it is very funny to see how some people who don't work for a day in their lives, continue to get everything.
Now, that's not what I want either. I am very proud to work for a living...
There's a system that the users can totally milk...and there's no system to help those of us who are trying our very best to help ourselves, and just can't quite cut it.

Did I mention...
you guys rock!

Cheers to working out @sses off, and being able to have pride and diligence and self respect.
You know...down the road there is much more to learn our children this way...as our children do learn from our example...

quote:

Originally posted by Commander leftover:
[qb] No footrub for you. Have you ever looked at your hands and wished you could get a manicure? I wish for pretty hands all the time.. and footrubs. [/qb]

Oh what I wouldnt give for a foot rub. Or even a nice massage with no strings attached. Ha ha.
I try to get my daughter to do it, but it only lasts a second.