Okay I have a new situatuion. Well new to me. My ex is involved with a women and yeah it breaks my heart because there are still feelings there. I am getting over it with fermented grapes but anyways, she has children. Now he has gone over and babysat them when she went out, which also kinda jerks my chain since he can't do that with ours in 2 years, but eventually the boys are going to meet them. Now they are wondering why he is going out and swimming with her kids and not them. I told him I do not want the introductions to happen until he is sure that this might go somewhere or it could end civily because I don't wnat the boys to get so excited about having these new friends and then not be allowed to see tham anymore because of whatever. I have explained to the boys that she has kids and they are around there age, she has 3. I jokingly said his McDonalds bill was going to be threw the roof. I just want to know how to deal with this new situation. It was esaier when he was sleeping with everything that walked including some now ex friends of mine but this is different. We called one night and he didn't answer his phone and then called back, he was outside her house saying good night to our boys. I asked why he couldn't answer in there and all he said was that she gets jealous of me. If she is jealous of me will she be jealous of my boys. UGH !!!

Well I'm not sure what to say honestly.... My ex hasn't bothered to see his kids in over 2.5 yrs. But if you ever want to have someone to vent to, feel free to send me a message. I know I'd tell him to be a man and make sure he's taking care of his responsibilities to his biological children before playing house somewhere else. And by the way I really got a laugh out of your quote!

I'm not really sure what to suggest either. One way or another, your children are going to get hurt in the process .. whether they don't meet these kids and always wonder about them; whether they meet them and learn about their relationship with their dad; meeting the mother and not fully being accepted; not meeting the mother and wonder why they haven't been introduced to their father's love interest .. on and on the list goes. Fact is, we can't protect them of everything. They have to tough things out for themselves. The one thing that they DO have in their life that's been consistent, is YOU. They can always come to you for support over this. Eventually they'll learn to understand why it is that they live with their mom and not their dad and know it had nothing to do with themselves. Also, if this woman is jealous of you, I wouldn't read too much into that. You're not liking the idea much that he's dating her either .. doesn't make you a psycho. She just may very well be a nice person. As for the dad saying goodnight to the children 'away' from her, it could either be an excuse or this behaviour might dissipate once the two families are introduced. Who knows.

I know. Not great sound advice. It's all I've got tonight. Hang in there.

This woman is controlling and your ex is obviously weak and can't stand up to her. It's not your fault or your kids' fault, but unfortunately, your kids get the short end of this deal. You can't control what he does. The only thing you can do is make sure you don't do the same thing to them.