Hi there Everyone, Yesterday I was so overwelmed by my life. I came upon this little world and am quite blown away by it. I am a single parent of three teenagers. Two of them live with me they are 15 and 17. The other I see a couple times a week. He is 18.I am presently on leave from my job as a child and youth worker in a residence for boys. It was a very stressful job. I went into meltdown about 4 weeks ago.I have another month off and want to find healthy ays to rebuild my strength. Right now I feel in a constant state of panic.I can not explain how scared I am. My pattern if to get involved in unhealthy relationships or fix up someone eles life. I have a series of very abusive-no blame I take my part in it-overwelming relationships. I have no support up here-All my family is in the States-and they are not dancing on the most stable ground. There are moments when I feel I can not do this. Yet my kids need me so much. Yes they would survive if I didn't but they are watching how I walk the walk and this feels like so much pressure. I just want to lay down- Anyway this is hard for me-I can not tell you all how much I admire what you are doing. I have overcome some tough things in my life.addiction,abusive marriage,ect. but nothing compares to the day to day of meeting the responsibilities of parenting.Any suggestions of new ways to create a life that feeds not drains would be appreciated. Take Care

I think you have taken one step forward towards your goal today, by posting here.
WELCOME ragingmama !
This is something for you and you alone and a chance to concentrate on yourself and talk about the things on your mind.
Dew

Thanks Dew-I think you are right. This is my first step. I tend to isolate when I am overwelmed-This time I am determined to really change some of my responses. This job is isolating enough-I am also sick of reaching out to the wrong places and then being disappointed. I am so glad I found this. I am thinking of looking for some work that is not so emotional-as my social work job so that I can go to work and clear my head instead of filling it up more. I am really finding parenting teens exhausting. Anyway Thanks for your response

:welcome:

As single parents it's really important to schedule some time for ourselves as a PERSON rather than just as a PARENT during our 'free' time. Not only do we deserve it but we NEED it in order to keep our mental health in tact. Try making this a priority and try not to use this as sleeping time either. Fresh air is always best. We hear this all the time but often forget it's significance and claim we just 'dont have the time'. Well guess what? Make that time! Reprioritize .. or then don't and continue on your downward spiral.

I think it's great that you've come to terms over the fact that your lifestyle isn't working for you anymore. You need a happy outlet somewhere in your day-to-day life and it doesn't seem like you have ANY. Yes, children are always a joy regardless but they come with a lot of responsibilities. You need a focus you can relax on and enjoy with.

This place has been a haven for me as it's helped me through a lot of issues - past and present. It's nice to be able to vent our frustrations to people who can either relate to or that can offer diverse objective advices.

As for building a life that 'FEEDS', what sort of hobbies are you into? Thrive on that. Every little bit helps. Last year I started gardening for the first time. It's been very theraputic for me. This year I plan on getting my son and I more involved with our local community. Maybe there's a workshop you can attend that you'll enjoy?

How long are you on leave of absence from work? This is a great opportunity for some serious R&R and perhaps a time to restrategize your plans a little. Maybe you can think about a new career direction? I'm sure with the education that you have you can channel it somewhere else less strenuous?

Best of luck and I hope to hear from you again. As I've said before, if you're at a down and out, the only place else left to go is UP [here on EARTH]. Hang in there. Things will fall into place eventually. You've made your first step ..

Thanks for your reply-I appreciate your time-I woke up this morning so frustrated-I just always have so much to do. I read your words and it is true I must try to find something that brings me peace-I just get very anxious and spin out. I feel so many demands on me.Again I appreciae your words and I think I will go and journal and walk to refocus Take Care

Hey ragingmama, how did I miss you? Welcome to SFV and I'm more than sure that you will find what you're looking for or at least you will be pointed in the right direction from some of the great people we have gathered here.

I'll leave you to the ladies on this one except to say that your sons are men now. Most of the decisions concerning character will have already been played out in thier souls. It is only your love they seek now...and a few bucks every now and then.

Good luck to you.

Now is your time. So take it.

Thanks for the welcome-I totally hear what your saying about the kids-My parenting is so different now-I find it hard to adapt-but its a good change-I have two daughters 15 and 17 and a son 18. It is all about love and yes a few bucks now and again-it is fascinating and good but I struggle because I am seeing that alot of my self-esteem was wrapped up in them needing me. Now I have to get a life and I'm nervous I see how much of my life was a reaction to being a parent-Anyway I'm stumbling about-This place is just too cool I am very excited to be a part of it. I was scared to connect with people online-I am a social worker and tend to be very cautious as I feel we should but sometimes I isolate-and single parenting is isolating enough-A few attempt to connect online lead me to some raunchy conversations-This was refreshing I am struggling with relaxing right now-I always feel like I am suppose to doing something-to catch up with the never ending errards and chores blah blah blah- I find it hard to turn off I think this is why I feel so tired-Well have a good one Take Care

Gee...I must got confused in your profile. My apologies. Anyways glad you found us. By sharing we all benefit here. And the mods are good at keeping the raunchy stuff on other sites and not here. We're here for the kids.