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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Canada I was an uncle first...................now I'm her dad. How do I do it?|
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Board Member |
Please HELP ME!!!!!!!!! I have no IDEA what I'm supposed to do with a 6 yr old girl. All I know is that the courts say I'm now her legal guardian and I had no idea what that meant when I asked for it. SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know what she likes to eat for junk food and what she wants for presents but i have NO IDEA how to be her parent. This is probably the only time that I will ever regret the fact that I am a rodeo man because if I cant found a travelling school to put her in then we will have to survive off of the beef that I can sell up here in Canada from my ranch (yeah good luck now). I hope all you single dads out there can help me out.
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"Forever" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
LOL
welcome to the board, first of all ! you just don't sound as desperate to me as you say, or am I wrong ? How does she feel about it ? Have you discussed it together ? I believe she's old enough to do that, within limits of course. I believe that is the first step, explain the situation to her, and what your plans are in terms of where her room will be, will she be able to go to her old school, continue to see her friends. She's worrying much more than you I am sure, and while you talk about her worries you will be able to start focusing on your new priorities and how to solve the situation. Make a list...  you're a rodeo man, you can do it  Oh, I'm not a single Dad btw, I hope that's OK.  |
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"Mod Member on Board" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
Hi returnmyhearttosender,
Welcome to our little corner of the world. We can help but Rome wasn't built in a day so start with the basics. A small child needs structure and regularity in the world and that's where you will start. She will need certain things like her own living space and lots of love. Most things you wonder about will come to you naturally. What to have for dinner, what clothes to wear for the weather, what activities she's allowed and not allowed. Most of this is just basic common sense from your own childhood. Don't sweat the little things. Since you mention living on a ranch, then here's a quickstart to fun and entertainment for little girls. I don't know why, but I have yet to hear of a little girl who doesn't like horses. Let her believe one is hers (even if it isn't). You will forever be the star in her life and things will go smooth from there. As for the parenting part, stay in touch with us and ask what you have to when you have to. There are many wonderful moms and dads here at SFV with a world of knowledge and huge hearts. We can help you through the rough parts if you promise to share the triumphs. Best of luck to you. :welcome: |
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"Forever" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
That's right ! We expect to hear updates every once so ever !
Just to see if the 'advice' we give (and which does not work for us ) works for you.This is just my way to say...don't despair if everything doesn't fall in place right away, that's normal. [sorry, I had to do some editing here, couldn't properly finish the sentence 'cause of a lil' guy demanding my attention]. |
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"-" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
None of us claim we KNOW how to parent a child. We learn as we go along. I'm guessing you would have to know at least a little to be granted as her guardian. Take it one step at a time and it will all fall into place.
Ask her questions.. likes/dislikes, her feelings.. Best of all, help her through this transition and plant your feet on the ground. Stability is the second best thing we can offer our children - first being LOVE! Keep us posted. |
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"hugs welcome" Active Board Parent |
First welcome to the board! :welcome:
As the previous posters stated just learn as you go that is what every parent /guardian does. Every child is different and you have to learn what works for them and for you and you can only do that by trying and making mistakes. Good luck and keep us posted. :huggies: :huggies: :huggies: |
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Hi Red
This is the first time that I've had a chance to reply to everyone and I hope that you dont mind me saying this but you are a breath of fresh air to my soul. You told me like you seen it and you helped me put my head back on straight when I needed it the most. You are right, I'm not as confused as I first thought I was. I just needed to vent somewhere and I thought that it was better to do it here than on the kid. After all it isnt her fault that she got dumped in my lap by her mother. I guess I just wanted to say that we are both doing fine by just taking things one day at a time and learning as we go. Once again, thanks for the advice and helping me get my *** screwed back on straight! |
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Hi jes
Thanks for the advice. I have decided to follow you up on the stability thing and am turning my attention more towards the beef and horses I raise in hopes that they will make me enough of an income to be able to support both of us without my having to get a regular 9-5 job. And if it doesnt work out that way then I have some friends that have offered me work as a ranch foreman for them. However it works out I am not going to be going back to the rodeo circut this spring because now I have her to think about and not just myself. So as of right now I can call myself 2 things that I never thought would ever be synonimous with my name- EX RODEO RIDER and FULL TIME DAD! Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that your advice has been taken. And I never had to ask her what her likes or dislikes were- the child has a mind of her own and DEFINITLY lets me know when she likes or doesnt like something! Once again thanks! |
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Hi
Just dropping a line to stay in contact and update you on the happenings in my world. First off, no more rodeo for me! I've decided to make a living off my ranch and to stay around where the kid can grow up in a safe, happy, loving and most of all STABLE environment. I would do anything for my niece. And now that I have permanent custody of her we are both learning as we go. I'm not nearly as lost as I first thought I was when I posted my note and thanks to the good people around here most of my questions get answered and I have even been able to help out others. And as for my niece needing time to adjust to things, she already had this figured out before I was even sure what was going on. And she has been teaching me more than I have been teaching her. Technically I guess you could say that she has been more there for me than I have been for myself. I still say that she is a 45 yr old woman dressed up as a 6 yr old girl! Atleast thats how she acts. But now that she has some stability in her life and a home to call her own, maybe she'll start going back to being a 6 yr old again. That would be so nice. Anyhow I just wanted to update you and say thanks alot. Hope to hea from you soon! |
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Hi
Just wanted to drop a line and say thanks for the advice, encouragement and support that you gave me. I know that its going to be a hard road and it is going to take some time to adjust to things for both of us but I am sure that me and the kid will be just fine. That is as long as there are people like you out there in the worldthat can offer advice and encouragement when I need it and give me s*** when I deserve it! Once again...............THANKS! |
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"Mod Member on Board" Board Beacon Parent |
Hi Scott,
A belated welcome to you. From past experience I know everyone will help you,they did with me when I got custody of my kids (3,6 and7).I came here scared of what was going to happen, of what to do,where to go and what to do next.But after being here 15 months I wouldn't go any place else or do anything with out 'floating' the ideas on the board. There will be times when you think you can't cope and think you are going insane.Come here and share your problems.You have just gained 9800 new friends with a wealth of experience. But the most important things are treat everything as a learning curve for both of you and learn to relax a little I know it is hard at first,but it does get easier slowly but surely.Routines are the key thing And feel free to PM me anytime. Best regards, Mark |
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Canada I was an uncle first...................now I'm her dad. How do I do it?
