Hello. I'm a weekend father. I just got my legal seperation two weeks ago. I'm doing my best coping with this new life.
My x and I are not on speaking terms. We have a communication book. I'm frustrated because I want to move on from this. I think we should be talking. I can be civil. The book frustrates me because even in it she don't tell me what she is suspose too. My son has lung problems I just found out. She put in the book that 2 weeks ago he was in the hospital and that she forgot to tell me about it. This is the second time I've heard health issues about my children long after the fact. I told the court that she will just tell them what they want to hear and that when we get out of court the games will begin. Well they have and I'm not sure how to handle them. The health ones are the important ones there are many more. I can't talk to her at all without her claiming verbal abuse. I'm not sure what to do. Well that's the start I guess. I'm just enjoying my time with my kids and get through each day as best I can. Well take care everyone. Thanks

Boy, I hear you brother. Been separated 2yrs and divorced about 6 months. We communicate via email on a regular basis for day to day stuff, and we're supposed to communicate via phone on larger issues. Which I haven't done yet, and dread doing....probably 'cause I hate her guts and wouldn't pee on her to put her out if she was on fire...but enough about me. My opinion is that the book is fine for day to day matters, but that health concerns merit a phone call to you, even if by a third party. That sounds like the court could do, not an unreasonable request on your part, I think. Give it a try.

BTW, Welcome to the forum.

Thanks foy your advice.

Welcome to the site :welcome:

What a cool pic!!!
Thanks for the welcome!!

Alvicar: Have you asked the courts to issue an order that she has to call you for any health problems? I know hat you are going through- but vice versa. My ex and I have been divorced for 5 years when my daughter was just 9 months old. We still do not communicate- just by leaving messages on each other's answering machine. I sometimes send notes with my child on his weekend, but then he yells about in front of my child-- so what good is that? Thats why we got divorced to avoid yelling and screaming in front of our girl.

atwitsend: you name says it all. I've given up with the courts. Doesn't seem to matter what I say. I'm gunna do my own thing. I'll deal with the schools myself and the doctors. I go see my doctor next week I'm gunna have them send me information everytime the children are in. I'm being childish but I can't deal with the games. So I'm gunna do my visits and nothing more.
I don't know why people can't be civil. It's life learn and work at moving on.
Sounds like your x needs to grow up as well as mine.
Thank you for your post.

If you are not getting any where with your ex then you have to take matters in your own hands. The main ones hurt in situations like this is the children, It our job( custodial or noncustodial parents)Not sure about you, but when the trust is gone , how can you be sure what they are telling or not telling you is the truth anyway? I got burned several times(until I learned) by letting him tell me the truth instead of investigating when it came to child support issues, things that happened on his visitation, etc. Good luck.

:welcome:

This is a great site with lots of advice.My ex and I cant communicate at all.It is hard to deal with his lies but i wish you both well and yes our court systems are really bad.The only ones that win there are the lawyers getting rich off court.

Thanks atwitsend. Your right it is the children who get hurt. Specially when they are used. I'm a product of divorce myself. I don't ever want what happened to me happen to my children. That's what I'm doing is not playing the game anymore. It takes two people to play a game and one to stop it.
Thanks Learning for the welcome. Speaking of lawyers I had two of them. grr I'm done with them. Not another penny i'll give them.

Mine refused to submit all of my exs stalking and manipulation of the kids said it is a waste of court time.In the end I got sever disabilitys from abuse and the lawyers using the excuse that the government is payin for me and the kids so why should he pay alot in child support cause I will lose it off my cheque.I guess in my lawyers eyes people in Ontario want to pay for me to live cause they wont make him.Lawyers are in it for themselves and the money no one else.Good luck and keep fighting is all I can say I have been doing it for 3 years now.My ex spends most days threating and hurting the kids with rude comments about all the interesting names he calls me on there msn conversations.It has been a nightmare that wont end.Hugs Gail

It really is a shame how expensive lawyers are. I hope I am doen with them, but since I am not too wise about the law and the court, I probably would lean on my lawyer if my ex takes me back to court. Right now, I have a wonderful lawyer who is accepting of a low monthly payment but it will take me a year to pay her off. My first lawyer dumped me after I owe him too much. So right there, tells you he didn't care.

Alicar: I wish you luck really. I admire a father that really cares and wants time with the children. I can tell your heart is definitely in the right place. Keep trying to do right by your kids.

Divorce is not always a bad thing for the kids. The altenative is a house filled with angry, abuse or unhappiness. Isn't it best to start a single life that is less angry and hateful?

I just wish that the divorce stopped the anger,abuse and unhappiness but instead he just drags the kids into it so then they wont see him.Then I am brainwashing them.My kids even go to the store other kids are stopping them to tell them what there dad is saying now.It is sad and twisted but there seems to be no end to it.Our whole legal system works better for the criminal.One day maybe I will be well enough to change things so it is easier for the next woman in my shoes.Hugs Gail

I wish for civilness too. I live around the corner from my x and she told my son he's not allowed to visit me unless it's a regular visit. I see him driving by on his bike looking in. It's too bad. I told him to come by anytime. He doesn't come by tho which sucks. I fought hard for my children. I have new wrinkles from it. They are worth it tho. I don't ever hope they hate there mother but someday they will understand that's the only hope I have. Or that we all have.
I pay child support and i'm on diability. My wife is on welfare. They take the money from my disability check and take it off her welfare.
I also work part-time.
I don't understand people. We live in a money society. No one see's past it anymore.
Take Care

Dave

Speaking about disability checks,alvicar, Let me ask you a question. If you get disability does your son also get benefits? If so, do you also pay child support? My situation with my ex is similiar. Thanks if you can answer that for me.