Along with the utter smackdown I received from my ex in this last court date (that I wasn't informed of) she also stuck me with the court costs for her lawyer. I find this ludicrous sinse her lawyer was supposed to have bene paid by legal aid.

I have no more money, and I still owe my lawyer and the person I borrowed the money from to pay for the useless plane tickets. Anyone know how I can appeal to the court in Ontario to have these courts costs reversed or waived? It's just a kick in the teeth and there was no need for it.

Okay, somebody around here once said "the fathers get to control the mothers" through the system. I hope that person follows your threads pe:machine and sees the truth. The truth is that here in Canada, as in many other countries around the world, the fathers are seen as nothing more then endless wells of money and when the wells run dry, they throw them in jail for not paying support. So...does anyone wonder why we have dead beat dads?

I know this isn't going to help much but hold your head high sir as you have at least stepped up and took on the system. No-one can call you a dead beat.

You can appeal to legal iad and in Ontario, there is a small nominal fee (25 dollars ten years ago for me). I won't say it will work but I think $25 isn't much of a gamble at this stage in the game. Good luck pe:machine.

(with apologies as this **** hits a sore spot with me...another willing and able father getting shot down by a bias and unbalanced system)

Jaydsdad,
I think that would be me and I have been following this thread. I do recall what I said and that was that my ex uses it to control me..not that all men do it. I was speaking of my specific situation. I stand by that because he is still a stalking control freak. The fact of the matter is that yes there are SOME men and yes there are some women that use kids and the legal system to control an ex spouse....I do understand that men do get screwed over more than women but I happen to be one of the women that was screwed over. I give credit where credit is due and yes you and all of the men on here are wonderful fathers but I will not and do not bash the other party because as you said...you hope that person is following and sees the truth....the truth includes both sides of the story and I dont expect and have never expected anyone to believe that what I say is the only truth. I hope everything works out for the childs best interests that is involved because that is the way it should be.

I am sorry if I offend anyone...but I never went for support...I only wanted what was best for my daughter....so I did not see my ex as an endless well of money...I see him for what he is.

I don't ask for support for my ex, she is on a limited income and I don't want her to starve. I want her to see her kids as much as possible, but she never even calls anymore, even though I would pay for the tickets, but I am not sending them to a place where I have no idea whats going on.. I feel for you Paul. Your story has been a bad one which I have followed. There are many cases in the US where the man gets stuck with the lawyer, the debts, spousal support, and child support(which I beleave in to a point), plus she gets the house. In my case it is different as all divorces are. I hope things get better bro.

Actually neverlookinback, I wasn't even thinking of you when I wrote that. I'm glad you piped up though as you did remind that I shouldn't generalize. My attack was aimed at the system because, as you know first hand, the system is a mess. It is used as a weapon more than an aid for our children and our politicos refuse to address that as it has become an industry to perpetuate high incomes for the lawyers, councillors, judges and court workers without any true regard for the well being of our children. pe's case is a perfect example. When a child is removed because the parent is incapable and the other parent goes broke trying to do what is best for the child, the system shoots him down.

When is this madness going to be stopped?

Okay machine give me her name and I know people who know people. Honey I knopw the feeling. I am a woman and have been nailed threw every system in the country for everything that my ex did. I paid for my own lawyer though and mind you it was threw the nose, and I still didn't get what I wanted. When I left I said take the house, the car everything I just want the kids. Sadly he said fine. I have been fighting for 3 years to regain some sort of financial gain and have slowly climbed out. It isn't about the money for me but it seems why is it the fighting parent is the one to get nailed. He was able to get legal aide but I wasn't because I wasn't guilty of a crime, able to buy a new car because he has a better income and credit. I am think yeah no kidding because I had to file bankruptcy and they put everything on me because we were married when debt accrued. Go to the papers, you can do it on-line; you can call them, find the numbers of local radio call in stations out there and start calling. I am a firm one for thinking if the system offers help to one gender they should offer to both. I have seen men in your situation good hard working men who want to see there kids and have railroaded by the system. I work with a few of them where the only chance they get is to drive by the schools but yet still have to pay for these women to go out and do what have you. Not all women are like this and not everyone takes advantage of the system but it sickens me to think some people look at there children like they are chips in a casino. Start making a stink. Start calling everyday, take those crumby cources like cooking for 2 and budgeting as a single parent. Crumby not the best word, but I made sure that I did what ever I could to make sure they stayed with me and I worked hard and had many sleepless nights worrying if it was enough. Anyway that you need help ask and someone here should no if not we will find out.