Hey all.

Just stumbled upon this site while looking for resources to help me in my quest to get my daughter back.

Short version: My ex-GF left the province on Ontario where we both lived with my daughter and her current BF without my consent. I've been trying to get her back in various legal ways since they left, and I am only now making headway. Since I don't have a lot of extra cash lying about, I am having to do all the research and court crap myself, since I've discovered that lawyers don't work for free.

There is a lot more to the story which I can relate to anyone who's interested. But basically I just miss my kid like crazy and am looking for some useful advice and good people who actually give a crap.

Anyone been through this?

Good luck in your fight! And welcome to SFV! We're full of people who give a crap, to put it in your words!! I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, we would all love to hear as much of your story as you are willing to tell! We've all told stories...long and short... and are all more than willing to give you as much time and advice as we've all been given ourselves. So please, share. Don't worry about making it too long, we've all done that!

Looking forward to knowing more about you!!

Well, It's real simple.

My ex and me split last year in August, just a month after My daughter [url=http://www.homesavermagazine.com/tt/happy.jpg>Drew>[/url] turned one. She moved a few blocks away and things were better that way. We were arguing all the time when we lived together (she also has Borderline Personality Disorder which makes her hard to deal with-she was violent toward me, but never to my kid) and we decided it was best for our daughter if we split.

She let this new dude move in with her during spring 2005 and in late summer she announced they wanted to move to BC (the other end of the country). I told her I didn't want to go out there, and that I was against the idea. And although this will never be heard in front of a court, she basically told me that she 'would make my life difficult' if I opposed her.

In addition, she didn't really allow me enough time to actually do anything legal to stop them anyway, plus I was working all the time (even tho I was broke a lot, due to child support I was paying to Ontario Works {welfare}) and so I couldn't afford a lawyer.

So they left. I had no choice but to make plans to follow. Understand I have lived in this city (Hamilton) for 30 years, and my whole life was here. It was no easy thing for me to decide to leave. I gave myself until Jan 2006 to prepare.

Three weeks ago, she messaged me over MSN and told me that her so-called BF was beating her, and one one such occasion, he broke her finger, and then called the police to blame everything on her... so they came along with childrens aid and took my kid away from her and put her in a foster home.

So she tells me all this and says things like 'I can't handle this' and 'you deserve her, i don't' and 'I can't believe I left there for this' bladebla, and would I take custody of her?

I say 'sure!' coz this is a dream come true (I mean except for the part about her being beaten, obviously), and start making calls.

Ah but I moved too soon, coz in the back of my mind, I knew this was just a kneejerk reaction, and sure enough three days later she changes her mind, pretends that everything is hunky dory with her BF (more or less) and admits that she never wanted me to have custody really, it was just a way to get drew out of foster care.

So inwardly I lose it, and i haven't spoken to her since... but I'm still trying to get my kid back because I know things aren't going to get better for her out there... even if she dumps this freak, she's just gonna get into it again with someone else, because it's not really about the people she's with, it's about her illness and how it affects other people and push them to the limit... and I can't abide that going on around my kid when I am hundreds of miles away and can't even monitor the situation.

That's the primer on my current life.

I just found this thread after reading Jaydsdad mention it in your other post.

What a bad situation.
Is your Daughter back with the mom and boyfriend?

What did children's aid tell you?

I hope you find a good solution. Please do keep us posted.
There are some excellent links to some of the legal sites in Canada in the Canadian section
http://singleparentsnetwork.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?/topic/89/49.html

good luck

My daughter is scheduled to be in a foster home until mid-December unless I can do something to get her out. I have spoken with the foster family as well as CAS both in ON and BC... neither of them are really willing to help me, BC's only onus is to get her back to her mother, and ON CAS wont help unless it's an open file which it's not.

The only cooperation I have received from BC CAS is that her case worker agreed to serve her with documents related to a motion I filed this morning, asking for custody to be transfered to me based on the fights, arrest of her mother and her taking my acess away without my consent. Hopefully the judge will see it my way, but he could very well throw it out in the grounds that it's a matter for the BC courts, not ON. I will be appearing in court a week today to make my arguments. Basically I have nothing to lose by filing here, since here is where the original order was signed.

Good luck. I hope things work out for you.

Rob

You know all the best to you. It really sucks that when there is a parent out there wanting to take control of this childs life and give her a better home that others are squashing that. Being a mother sometimes the system sides a little to much on mothers and forgets that there is a father out there, one that is actually willing to stand up and be a Dad, like many of the ones you will meet in here. I wish more men could be like you and the others in here and wnt to have contact with there children other than to boost there ego's. Keep trying and don't let up on them for anything.