I am 22 years old and i have a 5mth old baby and a 5 year old soon to be stepdaughter. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years off and on and actually 3 years straight. so for about 5 years total. So i've been in his around his daughter her whole life. We just moved in together about 2 years ago this june and it seems like with in this past year in a half my relationship with his daughter has changed. I love her very much but, she drives me crazy. She already acts like a teenager. She talks back to her dad and I, She doesn't listen to anything we tell her and she tries to tell me what to do. Sometimes I'll be lying down relaxing and out of nowhere she'll say " How come you're always lazy and my dad has to do everything aroud here?" When I do everything, Sometimes I wish i had some help. She never appreiciates anything we buy her she breaks it and when we ask here why she did it; She says she doesn't know and if we tell her we are not going to buy her anything else she says that she didn't like it anyways. I don't know if it has anything to do with the way her mom raises her but, we are tring are best to discipline and make her understand what's right an whats wrong. I can go on forever with everything i've had to go through with her and her mom, but here is just some stuff. Can anyone help.

First of all, moving in DOES change things, after a short "happy honeymoon" stage.

My daughter is 2, and her half-sister was 10 when I met her, 12 when I moved in. After 6 months or so, we started having our "moments". I think she was trying to assert that it was HER house, and HER dad... meanwhile, behaviors that didn't bother me all of a sudden started to. Partly because I was around her all the time, and honestly I think partly because I now had my own daughter and was starting to put more thought into parenting, and what I thought was the right way to raise kids.

It sounds like this behavior is directed at both you AND dad, and that you're both dealing with it together and being consistent in how you correct it? One suggestion I'd make is to read the book "How to Behave so your Preschooler Will Too". It's geared for ages 3-6, but many of the concepts are just all-around good ideas. "Catch her" behaving - even kids who act up will occasionally be respectful or kind; notice those moments and comment on them, tell her you appreciate it. Spend 90% of your energy reinforcing positive behaviors, and she will want to act that way more often because she will enjoy the response she gets, and the way it makes her feel.

She's also just become a big sister, which is a big change for her. Sounds like this started right around the time you got pregnant? Be considerate of how she may feel - she was daddy's little girl, just her, for several years.... it's not an excuse for her behavior, but it may be a bit of the explanation.

What is the custody arrangement like - do you have her most of he time, or not? Feel free to PM me if you want to chat, I don't know if I can help but I'm here!