I am 24 years old i have a 33 year old b/f his son is 7 years old, we've been together 4 years. My situation is no one has a problem with me being like a step mom except for my b/f mother she was in the sons life since he was a baby but now i'm trying to get through a locked door and it just seems to be impossible because when i'm with the b/f, son, and b/fs' mother she is like the step mom and i'm in the backround but when me and him and son i am stepmom. I'm very confused becasuse i love him but when i go to places to meet him and the mom is there she turns around and walks away or she ignors me he said "you don't know your place you can't be center of attention all the time" but all i do is get included. He said basicly to give you an idea he said if his son gets hurt don't do anything until i ask his mom if she needs anything basicly i have to be backround i'm so confused and hurt and i just don't know what do i want to leave. Me and her had a problem in the begining of the relationship it was cause he didn't want her to know about us i couldn't understand why so i let out hints basicly i went against his wishes so she hated me. Me and her have discussed this and everything was good. Until she started being this way so i don't understand he says she just don't like me but i have tried to figure something out and everything i do is wrong. She gives me looks like what you doing here, or stuff like that.

he will have to make a choice one day, to be with you or mommy. I would suggest if you go anywhere ask if she is going to be there, and don't go if she is. Life is stressful enough without having to put up with that on a steady basis. So if his son breaks a leg you have to call mom instead of taking him to the doctor, you really need to talk to this guy about this stuff.

Oh! I am so sorry you are in a relationship like that. I once to dated a mommy's boy. I was treated the same way you are being treated plus a little worse. I'm sorry to tell you this, It never gets better. once a mommy's boy, always a mommy's boy. Good luck to you.

I'm with Paul on this one. Four years is a significant amount of time to be together, and still be treated like an outsider. For now, I would avoid the Mom!

It's a complicated situation, and there are several points to consider ... but without knowing more of the details, I would say - you really need to sit down with your boyfriend and figure out where he stands. If he can not support you, something is wrong in the relationship.

Good luck!!

Yeah, this guy needs to tell his mom to back off if he's serious about having a relationship with ANYONE of the opposite ***. No one should have to put up with that silliness.

yea, well he says i don't know my place and i'm always trying to be center of attention, in that he means when he is at his mothers house, which i never know when as if i run his schedule, basicly i call him to be around. I don't get it its called communication at least i thought. We live together i don't get it he thinks sleeping together and waking up together is time spent together we get one day of our time and the rest hes with his mom and son so he says one day is enough since we live together.

Not your place, thats a interesting consept. Its is for you to chose "your place", or not.

ohhh noooo....."You don't know your place?" this BOY needs some serious help...and NOT from his mommy.... Good luck, if you stay in this relationship it is only going to become worse!

Sorry to sound so negative....but it's true.

quote:

Originally posted by nita24:
[qb] yea, well he says i don't know my place [/qb]

That's just wrong if you ask me.

I think the guy is a bit scared to be involved with someone.
Look - your only 24, let this guy go so he can raise his son and you will be able to start your own family and do things your way. You�re only wasting precious time.

Good thing you're not married to him! I married the mama's boy and it is awful! And as for the step-kids, his mom is his wife! That makes his kids HER kids! If you marry him, she becomes the ex-wife, and it only gets worse, trust me! I say get out and find a real man who has a healthy relationship with his mother. Guys like that are not well. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!

We tried to talk, he says "i can't change no more" i say the same. I have changed my attitude by seeing a phycologist and phychiatrist, i am on meds, i used to be a cutter, i used to smoke, i cut down a whole lot of drinking, i just graduated adult high school, and i was a very depressed and unstable person to live with. Now i've done all this change and difference and all he has changed was bringing his son to the house and including me to whatever he wants to, such as parties and games but when his mom wasn't there now when we had the talk i was under the impression that we were ok now since me and him are argueing she is against me fully, so when he invites me when she is there now i get coldness. So we just decided it isn't going to work and i agree i love him but i can't anymore. And the mother is the mom and step-mom i'm just backround girlfriend who is there when she isn't and i'm tired of it, so i called it quits. It feels like i'm trying to get through a locked tight door and its hard. Well when i told him that she gives me dirty looks at his son's baseball games and as soon as she sees me she turns around and walks away then he eventually follows and i'm there all alone. Its not worth the heartache.

before we were arguing she was giving me dirty looks and all just because i was there wherever. I just found out that she thinks he is spending to much time with me and i'm saying the same he is at her hom sat-thurs i get his attention on fridays only and he said waking and sleeping together is time, uh, i don't know where he belongs. I asked for more time and all he can say is i'm not giving you two full days.

If he won't give you two full days, he certainly is not ready to commit to a life time, it is good that you are young as stated before. The mother is never going to back off in tell the son tells her too, and he is not going to do that as you can see. So, you have two choices, deal with the situation as it is or walk out of it. Its a pretty sad situation. Well, I maybe wrong, you could write to Dr. Phil,. I have seen him do shows on pushy mothers and their sons.

PAUL<
You give good advice from time-to-time. I've been kind of a quiet member as I only post when something touches me! LOL but i like to hear what your gonna say!
ANYWAY ~~~~
NITA! Get on with your life and find a man that you can start fresh with and will want the same things as you. If you stay in this relationship and keep making issues out of everything you�re going to live a miserable life because you'll never find happiness. DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF?