Many thanks wisertoday, anyone else? please feel free. All opinions are welcome.

The title of "Father" is given by God, and can't be awarded or earned. I'm so sorry she is forced in to this. It would be great if she called him "Daddy-Dearest". Like the masculine form of Joan Crawford? Since they can't be on a first name basis, how about "Mr. Insert-his-last-name-here" It shows respect, but doesn't berate you as her father. I would definatly speak to her teachers. They can have alot of influence. Again, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

I kind of want to jump in on this bandwagon. Me and my ex split up when my son was a few months old and about the time we went to court this other woman came into the picture. I had never seen her before, but he refered to her as his fiance in court. This didn't mean much to me, since me refered to me as his finance on many occasions, but he never did propose to me and we never got married. We don't talk unless we have to, so thats the last I heard of it, and that was two years ago. Anyway, they are still together and they live together and my son goes there every weekend. My issue is that she has always been refered to as "MommyNette" (her name is Lynette) and that's always bothered me. My son was too small (only 2 yrs old) when they got together to know any better, so he's always called her that. My ex had another son that had been adopted to another family, and we had visited him once when we were together. His other son had called him "Daddy-Craig" and I distinctly remember him getting terribly hurt and upset that they would change his name from daddy to "Daddy-Craig" Well, he makes my son call me "Mommy-Monica" when he is over there. I know this because he slips up sometimes after he gets back from dads and calls me that. Anyway, I've never made my son call him anything but daddy, I call him daddy, I don't use his name. My current bf has never been refered to as daddy anything and I have no intention of doing that, cuz Blair has a dad. So all I basically want to know is should I make a point of this to the dad? I've never said anything about it, but it breaks my heart to hear him call her mommy, and to hear him slip up and call me Mommy-Monica (knowing dad is feeding him that line only because I understand how he feels about it) I want to ask him to stop, but I feel like its too late. It's been going on two years, since my son was 2 and I think I missed my chance.

As far as mommy is concerned, the way she is, I don't think I'll ever be rid of this issue. I think what I'm trying to do is find a way to deal with it inside myself.Am I right to be irritated? Thank you folks. My feelings are justified. Will it stop? Probably not but I'm dealing with it better.And functioning better with my daughter.

I think it depends on the situation. I have been a stepmom for 12 years, when my husband & I met his boys were 5 & 7, my girls were 3 & 8. All the kids lived with us, there was little input or contact with the missing parents. We each had been divorced 2 & 3 years, the kids all had been w/o mom or dad (the missing parent). The kids were young enough they wanted to be able to call someone mom & dad and w/o us saying anything about it they called us that. If the other parents had an issue with it, I have no idea. I think more importantly, it is what the child is comfortable with.

I feel that it is wrong to make any child to call their step father "Daddy". I also think it is just as wrong to expect a Man to take care of a child, that that only veiws him as a source for funds. I believe that it is up to the parents to set the write stage for building a healthy relationship. Don't allow your children to call the man by his first Name. That is wrong!!! If you have a problem, then allow the child to put a handle on it, until they feel comfortable to cal him something that is indearing. Don't allow the child for one minute think they are on the same level as the man that is expected to care for them emotional, physically, and spiritually.

Just my thoughts!!!!!!!

Your thoughts count!

Welcome to SFV, Benny. Hope to hear more from you in the future.

I feel it's wrong to MAKE a child do that, however, they will get to an age where they can make that decision for themself. My real father was very absent from my life. I chose to call my real father by his name and my step-dad dad. But that was MY decision...no one forced it on me. But, I also don't feel it's right to correct a child when they want to call their step-dad daddy. My son's father is rarely in his life. My son is 2 and doesn't really know who his father is or what a daddy is. I keep telling my ex to be around more to bond with our son, because their will come a day when I find a man that loves me and my son and will bond with my son too. And if his real father hasn't bonded with him, their relationship will suffer in the long run.

My son’s father is not around like so many but for me my son has only one Dad and one Mum. I am not happy about my son calling anyone else Mum and I would not have any man in our lives being called Dad. I am happy with either Christian names or another term of endearment. I have lived with a man for a long time whose daughter (8) lived with us. She asked one day if I thought she should call me Mum, my reply was no because you have already got a Mum but we can make up another name. I actually think that she asked me because she felt she should or that it would please me and was really excited when I said we could make up our own name. I just thought then that if I was a Mum I wouldn’t like it. Just how I feel about it…..

hi i'm not a step parent but i do have a step mom i think it is wrong what your x is doing it should be up to the kid to call him dad or not i call my step mom MOM but that was my choice becuase she was always the one there for me you should talk to you x and let her know how you feel. And ask your child how she feels about calling him daddy she old enough to know how she feels.

My soon to be ex had twin boys at the age of 1 1/2 when we married. The boys just picked up calling me "Mama Shannon". They are 13 yrs old now and still call me that. In fact, it grew on me so much that some of our adult friends call me that. Of course his ex didnt approve of it until she finally remarried and they started calling her new husband "Daddy Todd".

I had told my husband that I would never want his kids to call me mom because they already have one. Honestly I feel that decision comes from maturity that Jaysdad's ex does not have. Grin and bear it jaysdad...at least you know this isnt your daughters decision and you know where she stands on her loyalty. I would also bring up the point to your ex how it would make her feel if jay called some other woman MOM! That might make her realize.

Just my thoughts and I hope they help.
Mama Shannon

I'd have to agree with everyone. But..I like the comment Dalls Mom 73 the most. In the past we never insisted on who called who what. Atleast not in our home. My husband had to deal with his boys calling their stepfather "DAD"....what was sad was hearing their casual conversations those boys got very confused as to who was talking about who. Then came the day were they only addressed my husband by his first name. How that hurt him so. We just find it so disrespectful. His ex continues to say things in front of the boys like " Their Father-Randy is a better father than you!" The hurt in his eyes I will not forget.

I had the same bull$%^& with my ex.. my son was calling his then girlfreind mommy Sheryl I asked my ex to stop and it became a huge source of contention.. She even signed up to be my kids Team mom for all of their sports teams and room mom at school.. (I have to work a fullltime job so these were not possibilities for me), we live in an area where not very many moms have to work so there are plenty of other mommies willing to do this she just wanted to show me up.. She also would sign up without asking me if I might want to do it.. (she is trying to "land" the ex cuz he is a finacial catch so she trys to be stepford perfect YUCK) I said nothing.. Finally one day when my youngest was 4 2yrs ago he said in front of all mom.dad. "mommysheryl" teacher ect.. "mommysherly says she is my real mommy and my mommy is a bad mommy" needless to say that little BIATCH is no longer doing that and has willingly gone back to Sheryl.. there you go OH and guess who is team momma now???? thats right

Hmmmm. I would say that if a parent is pressuring the child to do what they are not comfortable with in any situation someone whould lay the smackdown on it. If the child is to young to stick up for themselves then the other parent should advocate for them. So what if the otehr parent says you are just spiteful? It's about the child not you.

Jaydsdad, Since your girl is 11 I would advise her not to pacify her mom but to speak respectfully to her about her reservations. It seems to be a dominance issue and that is not fair to her.

There is nothing wrong with calling someone else mom or dad. I use to call and still do my friends mother ...mom. But here it seems to be a power struggle as many of us have experience. Using the children is just beyond wrong. The hurt I would see day after day in my husbands eyes was enough to tear me appart. AS the children even picked up on our own weeknesses. I witnessed my step sons playing parent against parent to get things they wanted. They even began telling each parent how the other was hurting/ hitting/ or even beating them. Because my husband and his ex has a lacking of communication well....it took a while but they figured out what the boys were up to. But it would still go on in different ways. The anger my husband and his ex had for one another created to little monsters.