I have twin step daughters, the same age as my daughter, 6. I have been in their life as a mom since they were about 18 months, and their legal step mom since they were 4. My husband and i are seperating, supposedly (hopefully) temporarily, and I am moving back to Tucson, where the girls live. I would love to see them, more importantly I would like Maddie and Jake to see them, as often as possible. I also want to make sure they are truely being cared for since their mother is a heavy drug user and totally crazy, unfit, human. My husband has always been against me dealing in any way with his ex-wife. But to see them I would have to do exactly that. I have already asked how she feels about them coming over or sleeping over once in awhile, making it very clear that it has to work with my schedule. Her responce was yes, they are jake's sisters and really Maddie's too and blah blah blah other seriously weird stuff. But I got the initial okay. My problem is I know this woman has serious issue and has in terrible ways intruded negatively on my relationship with my husband and my life in general. Is this stupid of me to try to work with her in my life, my new single mom life, just to see my girls, just to let my kids see my girls. Im mean they are sooo important to me. But I dont know how successful I will be at dealing with the other mom, and I cant take failure right now.

i did it. I asked to keep Bella over the summer. She is moving to Montana with all the kids this summer. I asked her to leave one behind with me. I will be seperated from my husband so its up to her. I hope she goes for it!!

i think you should persue a relationship, its not easy just letting go