Hello all I am new here. I just wanted to talk to other step parents out there. I have 2 step daughters one is 15 the other is 12. I have raised both girls since they were 5 and 2. The 15 year old is well that is a long story. Very defiant verbally and physically abusive. The 12 year old is a awesome person. The two problems are the 15 year old and the biological mother. We are having major problems with the 15 year old and when she goes to her mothers every other weekend there are no rules ( the mother has said she doesnt want the 15 to cause problems when she is there so she lets her do what she wants) when she is grounded here for something like going to jail for assult on me or her father of her real mother we will ground her, but when she goes over her mothers she will not follow through with the grounding,which it makes it extremly hard on us. We have asked the mother to let the 15 year old live with her. She has no other kids that live with her. We have 3 other children in the home, she doesnt work and she refuses because she knows she cant handle her, but she will tell my step daughter that she can live with her, but her dad will not let her ( not true) so you know what that does to us..... Well I could go on for days, but I wont any advise would be appreciated. thanks

can anyone give me advice on being a step parent. well see my bf. who i am fixing to marry has 3 kid .michael-5 christian-2 christopher-3wks. awll. see micheal the oldest .asks his dad if i am his new mom. how do i explain that i am not his new mom. and that i am not wanting to take his mothers place. also we told him about the baby i had 2 months ago well he asked if that was his brother how do i explain that they are not really realted. i mean we want to tell the boys the truth.we don't lie to them. cna u help me plz