Does a step parent have the right to hit their step child? My 17 year old daughter in Florida recently had an altercation with her step-mother where the step-mother pushed my daughter into the wall and my daughter pushed her back and made her hit the doorjam. Of course my ex says his wife has the right to hit my daughter if she wants to. I need to know if this is true or not. That woman is LUCKY that I live in Nashville....

My thought....I don't think anyone has the right to punish their child in that fashion, step or not. Pushing a child into a wall is just not right!!!
I think, since she's the stepmom, that she has a right to be included in "discipline" as in dole out consequences for negative actions. That doesn't mean pushing her into a wall, slapping her face, whatever it happens to be.
Heck, a while back I had to set a bf of my ex straight just for name calling.

Don you're right...and most states the child is old enough to file "Assult" charges against that adult, even if it's a parent. Of course, you have to remember the consequences of going that far, usually means that kid will be kick out of his/her home.

Pushing into a wall, is Not an acceptable form of corporal punishment. It's "Assult".

Assault:
Law
A. An unlawful threat or ATTEMPT to do bodily injury to another.
B. The act or an instance of unlawfully threatening or attempting to injure another.

NO ONE has the 'right' to hit a child. Regardless of the relationship to the child, you do not hit a child. Ever.

However, step-parents, depending on the relationship with the child (full time? part time?) should have the 'right' to discipline a child. But discipline does not involve hitting. Ever.

Hitting a child is wrong. Hitting anyone is wrong. Adults should not need to resort to violence to handle a conflict with anyone, adult or child, but especially with a child.

Dad needs to step up to the plate here and set new rules.

A 17 yr old is old enough to expect to zip her lip and go to her room to cool off and he should expect the adult step-mom to not throw one more verbal insult during this time.

It's mutal respect.

then both can get down to the real issue whether its house habits or teen issues.

Thanks for all your input. The problem here is that her father is a seargent in the sheriff's office. He does not support our daughter in any fashion. He told her he was considering taking her to jail for it because in the middle of everything she scratched the step mom's arm. He told her if she ever laid a hand on his wife again he would break her arm and take her to jail. Some dad huh?

The other problem is that she wants to graduate with her class and her dad does not give her 'permission' to move out even to his mother's house.

I donot know what to do in this situation. Can my daughter leave the house if she wants to since she is 17?

By the time a "child" becomes a teenager corporal punishment doesn't work.

Your daughter needs to talk to some one at school or go to Family Services and talk to them.

At 17 there is not much any parent can do about what their kids decide to do, moving included.

The dad is way out of line and will pay for it in the end, as I am sure your daughter will not forget.

Thanks Dad of 3 + 3, I told him that when she was 12 and his second wife left him saddled with a second kid and he put her in charge of the household, cooking, cleaning, laundry, everything. He was leaving them in the house overnite while he worked. I called Florida child abuse hotline and they said she was old enough to babysit overnite so there was nothing I could do about it. I told him then and he didn't care. Now he sees what raising a strong independant child can come to. She should not have to defend herself in her own home at all. Easpecially not from other household members. I am so upset I do not know what to do. I did not talk to him directly. I told his mother what I wanted him to know and she told him for me like it was her words. The reason I did not talk to him is that he disregards everything I say but does listen to his mother.

I do not know what to do, she will not come up here and I don't know if she will move to tampa to live with her grandparents or not. This is a horrible situation for her and i hate it for her.

Oh and by the way, my daughter forgets NOTHING!!! LOL!

UPDATE:

I called the child abuse hotline in Florida and they said that a shoving match was not violent enough to conduct an investigation. They gave me a number for a counceling service and I gave it to my daughter.

I asked the person if we had to wait until the step mother punched her in the face before anything could be done but she did not answer me. Well, there's another example of no help anywhere.

Freaking Florida

Thanks Don! Your too cool!

i agree with the rest that hitting a child is not ok. i was hit and even beaten as a child and it is aweful no matter what age.

I suggest talking to both and seeing about "co-parent" punishments and rules. same rules in both houses, same punishments.

And I do feel that step parents should be able to punish, if not they children will play ever angle. they all know how to do it at any age. the kids need to know that even though they are not a biological parent that they still have athority to punish, whatever way that might be.

I have been there not wanting the step parent to do it, but then when i moved in with my boyfriend I had to let him do the enforcing too. It is just your "mother bear" instinct. you are not there to protect so it is hard, but it will be ok. Hope all gets better and maybe they can find a better way of punishing a 17 year old. good Luck.

Im not sure if I can add any thing more, everyone just about covered all i would say.

I would say to stress to your daughter to use the school resources, like the counclor, and/or the school resource officer to at least make an informal report of the incident or to inform her of what her options are.

Peace
Robin