Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums New York Need help with social service|
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Parent on Board |
I am 18 years old and about to have my first child. I need some help with social service. You see my mother does not want me here with the baby. I don't have a job it is really hard to find anything around the area that live in. It is also hard because I am in my last year of high school only have a few months until I graduate. And graguating is very important to me, I feel I will not get anywhere in life without a least a high school diaploma. Someone told me call social service (welfare)you can apply for emergancy assistance.I have some one holding a place for me and my child to live in. But when i called walfare they told me that they could not help me because my parents are responsible for my until I am 21. My mother has enough problems working to jobs just to support my brother because she throw my father in jail for not paying child support. She can't help me and my child and support herself and my brother. I need help everyone says there is a way to get money but everytime i talk to someone from welfare they tell me they can't help me because my parents a responsible for me. Something else they also told me was that if my parents didn't provide for me then they could be taken to court for child neglect. How is that possible I am 18. Please help could really use anvise from some one that is experianced.
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"Parent on Board" Parent on Board |
First, congratulations on your keen sense that yes, your high school diploma is a very important part of your life, one that you will need to assist you in life.
Now, as I am not an attorney and do not live in New York state, legal advice I cannot dispense, but I would call social services again, and make an appointment to speak to a worker to find out EXACTLY why you are not eligible at this time. I think (again, please check into this) as long as you are living with your mother, that may be the reason you are being denied benefits at this time, and IF she is receiving any county or state assistance, this could be the reason why you cannot...it may be that until you get a place of your own, and are not dependent on her in any way, then, and only then, will you be able to start getting some type of assistance...and I know that may be difficult to afford at this time, being pregnant, plus the fact that you are still in school! One thing you should be able to start proceedings on, even though you have not actually had your little one yet, is child support. Is the father of the child going to help? If not (and please, take it from one who knows, the promises of financial help from the father are not always kept, so be sure you get a court order if you are not married), go to legal aid or ask the DHS for help on this matter...DO NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. There is help available, but be prepared to keep at them until you get the help you need at this time. Please keep us posted, and remember, you have a place here to vent, and there are many of us who have been in the same situation or similar, who will help you in steering you in the right direction...myself included, so hang in there! |
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Parent on Board |
The father of my child is still here he is doing the best that he can. He runs himself so much that he is for ever sick. He was working none stop but his job let him go right before the holidays and he is having so much trouble getting back on his feet. He depressed and now is trying to get through the flu. I am trying to keep my self together so that I can find a way for my self to get a job, finish school, need to find a place because my mother does not want me in the house, take care of my self and this child soon. I also worry because I am afraid that my boy friend may have a nervous brake down soon. He is feeling so much presure.
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Parent on Board |
Now about socail service. No my mother is not collecting anything that is why she works to jobs.
They will not give me any assistance with money for a place because they say that even though I am 18 my parents are responsible for me until I am 21 whether or not I live at home. The last thing that my mother needs is the state bring her to court because she is not providing for me. I feel she should not have too. I was the one that got my self into this, it was my chose to have intercourse. I know what the responsiblities were when I did it and it happened. I don't feel anyone but the father and my self should deal with this. |
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"Parent on Board" Parent on Board |
I can definitely understand the pressures you and your boyfriend are going through, and we are all here to try and help you get through it.
As the age of majority in New York state is 21, and while I can understand what an emotional and sometimes frightening look the future can have, the best bet you have is to take stock of what today holds and go from there. I know first hand what a hardship it can be when there seems to be no prospect of work, or lay-offs happen...while it may seem difficult right now, does the social services office in your area keep a posting of what jobs -- both full-time and part-time -- you and your boyfriend could look into? Since you may not be eligible for any county or state assistance at this time, maybe between the two of you, you could find some temporary work, something to help tide you over for the time being. Maybe that would help ease the burden of the situation at home with your mom, if she knows you are helping out to what extent you can at this time, plus put aside a little bit for the baby. Also, if you have a church you are part of (or even not), I know that many of times they can either assist or lead you in the direction of any non-profit organizations that might be able to help you out. I applaud you in your statement here, noting that this situation at hand is your's and your boyfriend's responsibility, and that this is not your mother's resposibility...between the two of you (and no one said this would be easy, believe me, I know first hand it is not!), I know you will find the strength to make the situation at hand a positive one! And do remember, for myself and others here on the board, one of the most positive notes here on this board is that we are all pulling from our experiences...past and present...to help you get through these times. We are here to support you, give you strength, and while we may not be able to "wave a magic wand" and make everything right, we are here to support you in the only way we know how...letting you know you are not alone.  |
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I am New to SFV |
Great that you come to your senses and realise you need to finish school. Do not be discouraged. You should be able to get WIC and they in turn usually recommend you to received Public Assistance. You should be on WIC right now.Ask your doctor or the clinic that you go. Usually if you donot ask they donot offer based on whom you meet. You are entitled for assistance there is no question but please donot give up on your education. Again which ever clinic you are going to right now, should assist you with the paper work. Good luck and hang in there. I wasn't that young, but I've been there. |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
Hi, I live in NYC also. My sister is 18 and has a one and a half year old. She does have her own case. My mother receives SSI. I am not sure if that is the reason my sister gets away with it.
There are certain services you will qualify for. Ask your doctor for a referral to WIC. They will give you some food...milk, eggs, cheese, hope you are not lactose intolerant. In addition, WIC pays for the baby�s formula and cereal, which is a great help, even if you decide to nurse. You also probably already know that you can get health insurance for you and the baby, no questions asked with Medicaid. ACS can help with day care. The number in queens is 9172287076. Alternatively, call 311 to get the number in your borough. You will qualify for as long as you are looking for work, go to your local department of labor to enroll as looking for work. Then call 311 to have them send an information pamphlet about daycare providers in your area. and enrolled in a training program or school. Finish school, no matter what finish school. There are programs available for pregnant teens to help them finish, my sister was involved with one. However, go to college also. A high school diploma is not enough. In addition, the sooner you get an education the better off you and your child will be. Apply for financial aid by filling out a FASFA application. Once you have a child you are your own responsibility in their eyes, as long as they know you don�t live with your parents. I receive $4050 cash in financial aid a year. I also take out student loans, another $2600 that must be paid back when I stop attending school. That certainly helps. And if you do find out that you qualify for welfare, the hours you go to school will count as required hours you need to work. Welfare will not look at any money you receive from financial aid or loans, in deciding if you qualify for them. Get food stamps too. The WIC office can help you find out where to go. Im going to send you this in private post form because this listing is old. Good luck. |
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums New York Need help with social service
