so i went to go and give my youngest a back after i fed him his snack he had gotten it everywhere ( i wasnt in there very long) i had left the oldest inthe living room watching ninja turtles, and when i came out to get the baby dressed and all that guess what i see, my son was half naked, there was the baby's formula dumped on the carpe two sharp knives on the floor( i have them up where he would hafta climb pretty high to get them ) and he was just sittin there like he didnt do anything wrong. OMG, I was about to flip out, i mean it doesnt matter what i do, i have taken his toys his movies everything except his pillow but he always does something like this, like he would tear up the bathroom while i making dinner, he did that last night , i have caught myself bout to hit him , i seriously am at a loss here, i sent him to his room while i try to calm down. i do beileve i may be going crazy

As a dad of 4 boys (3 grown) speak mean and carry a big stick.

Little boys aren't that breakable and a good whomp to the sitting parts might just get it across to him what the rules are. Don't worry about him growing up to be violent as my 3 oldest aren't and they got their share of it.

I will add that I use it as a last resort or when they are way out of line.

Hope this helps.

personally, i am very anti-spanking - personal decision, i just don't think i could separate my own frustration/anger away from the act and so it would be used for the wrong person.

I feel ya on the crazy though! my son is only two and is having horrible tantrums - he broke his second floor lamp last week and i swear he has a thing out for his furniture - lately i've been restraining him (partially because he kicks and hits me) until he can calm down and he is calming down a bit - he generally even likes to stay in my lap once i've let go, so i know he somewhat appreciates it.

I don't have enough strength in my arms to give a spanking good enough to communicate. And plus all spanking really does is get their attention, and teach them how to hit.

That being said, I've got a boy who must be closely related to your sons. This kid took my regular vacuum cleaner into the bathroom and sucked the water out of the sink. Tonight he locked me out of the house. The other night he locked us out of the bedrooms, and bathrooms. Sound familiar?

Okay, instead of thinking about what you would like to control, the destructive behavior, think about what you actually have control over. Some key ones I use are I have control over the car, and food. Food seems to work the best. Around my house a familiar line is "Would it be reasonable to expect you to have xyz cleaned up by breakfast time tomorrow?" And then guess what, breakfast for my offending child isn't served until xyz is done, picking up the socks you flung all over the bathroom, cleaning up the bathroom cleaner off of your sister's dress, etc. I use that same technique with the car. I'll be happy to take you to school once you've done your dishes.

I didn't dream all these calm wonderful responces up on my own. I'm borrowing from Love and Logic. It's a parenting method that works wonders! I finally broke down and bought a set of 8 CD's that I've been listening to. It was expensive, but cheaper than replacing my vacuum cleaner 3 times, which is what I was headed towards.

wow at all these stories...wow.
I have had my share of issues with my two, but nothing like you are talking about. In my house, we are a team and even though my boys are still pretty youngm, they respect me and would never do that. Well let me correct that. They might do it once but it will not happen again. My method of punishment is "take away the fun and isolate". If one of them breaks a rule or does something unacceptable, they are in their room for the rest of the day/night. Doesn't matter what time of day it is either...if it happened in the afternoon they can leave their room the next day. I let them use the bathroom and that is it...I serve food to them like jail. (I figure if I don't get them under control from an early age then they WILL be in jail kwim?) I really do not have too many problems.

Last night actually, we were at a school function and my friend was helping me with the boys as I am in PTA and was helping. My youngest after two warnings was out of control so I scooped him up and walked out, went home and put him to bed. My friend stayed with my oldest so he could finish the good time he was having. Worked great. I promise my 3.5 year old will think better about acting like that again

I almost thought I was me typing this......I here you.

I have nothing good to offer.