Visitation time is coming as you have read in my other posts. I always let "dad" know what day and time I will be calling my son when he is there for visitation. However, they are rarely home when I call- I call twice a week on Sunday and Wednesday or just Sunday- now that he is older. They are two hours earlier than me, so when I call at 11:00 pm here, it is 9:00 pm there.

Is it required that he have my son available to me that day and time (at least sometime) or do I have to struggle to connect with my son weekly on these days. I do leave messages, but if he gets the message and/or is not too tired, I will get a call back at 1 or 2 a.m. or not. It is exhausting! Do I just keep doing what I have been doing all these years and hang in there or am I too wrapped up in talking to my son- as his dad puts it.

There's nothing "recquiring" him to be available by phone while visiting. Not unless some previous situations ended up with that being specifically stipulated in the visitation court order (something I've not seen before)
Personally I don't see anything wrong with a check in call, as long as the other parent isn't "bothered" by it, and well, it sounds like it bothers him so try to just let it go is my opinion. Unless you are really worried about something in particular, enough to try to get a judge to stipulate that in the agreement if need be, just try to let them have their time.
Well, that's my input anyway.

I guess I have a special case in that we never had a stipulated visitation agreement. We just agreed on two months of summer vacation for visitation. We were never married. I have always called weekly to check up on my son but "dad" makes sure they are out of the house when I call on Sunday nights. I could not imagine not calling and I really do not care if it bothers the other parent. My son is gone for two months and is 1500 miles away from me-- and I am going to call to check up on him. Just suffice it to say that I do worry about him and I always will no matter where he is. I believe I have read that the other parent is to make the child available to the other parent for contact as long as it is not unreasonable; i.e., not calling constantly. I call once a week to say hello and I do not believe that is unreasonable.

Ah, so this visitation is two months long? The least he could do in that case is not make it an issue for a weekly call. But also, without a formal visitation order it would be basically impossible to enforce anything. Maybe you can try to talk with him (father) and come up with an agreement as to a day of the week/particular time so that you can talk with your son, not just stating to him that you will be calling on this day/at that time but a conversation prior to the visitation where you can state your wishes and have him agree to a date and time and hopefully he'll hold up his end of that. Again, without these agreements being ran through the courts for a judges signature,court order it's just next to impossible for there to be "consequences" should he fail to comply.

how did you end up with 2 months of visitation so far away?