I know that everyone has problems of their own, and I'm not looking for sympathy or anything. I just need some advice. I am father of a beautiful, soon to be four y/r lil girl. I have been to family court and have had a plan for visitation and all legal roles have been established, such as sharing ALL decision making responsibility between her mother and myself. I get her I guess, what every man gets...initially 1st 3rd weekend from 6pm on Fri to 6pm on Sun and once in midweek wed from 4pm-8pm. I have never missed a visit, or payment, I actually give her more than ordered and buy clothing and we share... I was never wanted in my childs life by her mother. I actually sued to get visitation.. and rights as a father. I only get the bare minium and have been refused to be involved in ANY decision as the plan states. Her mother and Grandmother run the show, changing her Dr appt so that I miss them, cut her hair when that's a shared decision and actually states this in the plan as this. took her to get glasses, and enrolled her in school, and will not inform me of anything. When I pick m lil girl up for my visits, her mother makes it a point to tell my daughter that its' okay and she won't always have to go, and she'll be back soon. I'm sorry... but this bothers me. Like its just because the court says I get ger and it's just soemthing she has to do. Riles has a great time. What can I do to enforce that I have the rights that the court gave me three years ago? Am I wrong to want to be apart of my daughters life? It's not that I don't want whats best.. I just want to be there for her and experience what other parents are given. I don't want to fight, just be repected as father will legal rights to be included. please help, I am saving for more lawyer fees, however it will take sometime before I can go on with the legal process. Please advise

I first want to commend you for wanting to be a part of your daughter's life. So many men choice not to for what ever reason. I have heard the reason many times may be "because it is a hassle each time at visitation or the ex harrasses me each time." Please and please don't become one of those men. Don't think at any time your daughter is not worth the other stuff that goes along with exes.

The only thing I can say to help you is to reassure you as your daughter grows she will learn how much you love her and want to be aprt of her life despite your ex and her family trying to prevent it. just as mine has learned by the age 6 her father choses not to consistent and choses not to call her, etc.

Kids are very smart they will figure it out.

Hi
I think you are doing the right thing, you don't know me but I'm raising a 5 yr old by myself.
What you need to do is document everything with time and date. Take that when you go to court and believe me, if you show up with a big book full of proof plus all the receipts of everything you spend on you daughter and things that you do, it will convince the judge your hart is in the right place, especially the part of the decision making.It's a lot of work but it's something you should do and may be, who knows,in the future you may be able to get share custody.
Good luck
Adrian

You need to document everything you do when your daughter is with you so that you can take it when you go back to court. This will help in court. Good Luck

i feel for you, i went through this same thing for 16 years of my daughters life. i recently got a letter from the court to show up for a restraining order to keep me from her . she always used a guilt trip on my daughter, alexis would cry she wants to stay with me and not go home, i got a call from alexis telling me to come get her she was scared, i went there and her mom said i was putting ideas in her head, she got a restraining order, i lost because of my past, i am in recovery, i have been clean, i hurt so bad to see her, i cant even call, fathers day passed, i leave it in Gods hands, document all you can, most important, pray

I am sorry to hear about your problems with your Ex. I completely agree with everyone else: DOCUMENT everything. You might be tempted to stop giving more monetary support than what is required, but I think this will help you in front of a judge (as long as you can prove you have done so). While you are saving for lawyer's fees, contact the lawyer that you used to get these orders in place. Maybe he can suggest something. This definitely shows lack of judgment on your Ex's part.
I think most orders will have something against bad mouthing the other parent (don't remember what it is called). Although I am not sure how you would prove that she is doing this.
Keep being a great dad and doing your best to be with your girl.
One more suggestion, try to have some communications with your Ex via email. This way you will have proof of what she is telling you.

And don't worry about venting or asking for advice or support. We are all here to get and/or give back to one another. Keep us updated when you can.

I got preganant by accident when i was 16. I had my daughter when i was 17. And now I am 18. I had been with her father for 2 years. And he is going to be 21 in august. We have been having a lot of issues lately. Especially the fact that he views his daughter as someone who is always goingt o be there whenever he is ready to grow up. Instead of seeing her as a obligation. He told me tonight he wants a break. So he can go party. Im not upset on the fact that we split. Its just that i grew up with a fucked up family. A broken home with split parents. I dont want to do that with her. I need some serious advice to help me make decisions. Please. Anything you can tell me will help

Well, this is why people like me are having so much trouble. You seem to be a very good father. My ex is a felon and I am forced to give him visitation and he has over $7,000 in back child support to pay. I have to spend money to get money. He is now getting he regular two day visits with his son, but no overnights. I had to prove he was not trustworthy. I hope you save up and request shared physical custody equal decison rights. I do not think she has a case to keep you from equal decisions. You pay you have a say. When your daugther gets old enough put her in little league or a dance class on Wednesday nights and or Saturdays. See if the the mom and grandma show up. The weekends you have her you will take her to the game and or recital and on the weekends you don't you will be atleast there to see the game or the recital. You will also create witnesses that see you want to be a positive part of your child's life. My child is 3 and he was on a basketball team in the YMCA. I was the coach. His dad came but was on the cell phone during most of his games and let him run out into the parking lot while he was not in the game. He tried to say it was both of our faults. LOL! Anyway have them do an investigation on both of you and they will see that you are a good father and see her mom's faults.