Hi all, I'm new here, mum to 4 kids aged 5, 4 and 17mth old twins. My huband told me he was leaving about 3mths ago and moved out 3wks ago. He's sharing an apartment with another guy and it's not suitable for him to have the kids over there so visitation has to take place in my home. If I want him to babysit in the evening he has to sleep over otherwise I'd need to be home by 10pm so he can get 2 buses home (he doesn't drive). I'm finding it really difficult having him in the house, especially since he's constantly irritable with me and speaks to me in a really patronising tone. He has no patience with the kids and twice when he was leaving he yelled at our 4yr old, once to close the ******* door when she was waving goodbye to him, the other time when she was handing him his laptop case ( he was afraid she'd break it, but he had no right to get angry with her when she was trying to be helpful). He has no respect for this being my home and helps himself to food, takes showers etc. without even checking with me if it's ok. On one visit he took a cheque for �800 which I intended to lodge into our joint bank account (we're still in the process of sorting out our finances) and put it in his wallet to lodge into his own account. If I confront him on anything he threatens to walk out so I'm afraid to say anything because the kids have a right to see their dad and I don't want them to blame me if he walks out, even though it would be his choice. I'll be starting a training course in Sepember which takes place every 3rd weekend for the 2 full days. I'll need him to mind the kids but the only way he could manage this is to sleep over on the Friday and Saturday nights as I have to leave the house at 8am. The thought of this is almost unbearable but I've no other option. Is anyone else in a similar situation and how do you cope? Have you any tips on making it easier for all concerned?

Thanks,

Celine.

Does he have any family that the kids could go to see and have visitation there? Ex. Parents, sibling's, or cousins?
He sounds controlling...verbally/emotionally abusive. Have you filed any formal paperwork that states a visitation schedule, if you haven't yet go talk to an attorney.
Take his name off the account, or open a new account, do this before he does,just keep track of all receipts/deposits/withdrawls.
There is no way to make it easier, I tried to "play nice" it just comes back to bite you in the ***.
Remember your kids come first...do whatever you can to protect them and provide for them.

He is using the kids as a way to get to you emotionally. Stop the visits and his intrusions into your life. If he is yelling at the kids the way you describe they would be better off to have some time away from him. Tell him he needs to change his behavior and start being a responsible parent.

And I agree 100% with rctj, get an attorney and protect yourself and your kids.