I am a custodial parent through Child Support and not the court system...The father of my child and I were not married. I have since married and now I wish I had never put the fathers name on the Birth Certificate. The father owes over 5000 in back child support. There has not been any contact between the father and child who is now 5, and about to enter school,for over two years. Is there any legal way to change name in Virginia without contacting the father of record? I feel it would be raising a red flag to have any contact with him...Please HELP...

I dont think you can do that without contacting the father.
Check with your state to see if there is a time limit, meaning that if the father doesn't contact you or pay in a certain amount of years, he losses his right as father. Just like if he were to sign off his rights. If not, then You need him to sign off his rights as father. AND you home free!

Good luck!!

Thanks for the reply Jennifer, but I am too afraid to contact the father at this point...I am afraid he will try to seek visitation.....I will try to find some state information on this situation. Thanks again.

I know exactly what you mean!! i am doing the same thing.

Goodluck! and i will pray for you.

Thanks for the reply...Do you mean you have the same or similar situation, and are facing the same fears?

Yes... I am in the similar situtation and have the same fears. Even though I havven't heard from him for some time, I do think that some day he just might choose to do something outa spite. But I know I eventually will have to get him to sign papers so that my child can be adopted by a normal father. I dont know. We will see in time. Florida sucks to be in.

Hi Jennifer.....From what I can read so does Virginia!! I can't find anything promising!!I am afraid to raise the red flag, but come fall he could walk right into her school and pick her up..without my permission...but I really don't know what to do...I guess I am damned if I seek court custody or name change, and damned if I don't...Life in fear of the possibilities is no fun...

Hey Giraffe
A difficult position your in, I know little of Ammerican law. However, before you make this decision I ask two questions. Has he not paid support out of spite/not caring or lack of income? Is he able to make contact?
On the other hand this person may be totaly undesirable and best left alone, only you know this. A last point at some stage your child will want to know his heritage, good or bad. Changing his name is like trying to change history, does it realy do the child any good, does it realy change anything. A kangaroo is a kangaroo, no mater what you call it. I hope these thoughts aren't to confronting, and i am sure you have considered them at some level. I do wish you both the best and hope all goes well for both of you.
Kindest regards
Pagan