We'll, I did it. A few weeks ago I contacted my sons bio and invited both him and his gf to the local game room to meet with my son and I. His father has not seen him in almost 2.5 years. Back when we were talking, and arguing, a lot was said from both of us, and he made it clear he would not see our son without his gf. So, I figured wth.

He did call back, but never mentioned anything to the gf. (I've heard they've been pretty on and off from a mutual friend, and I get the impression they are off at the moment.) Funny he then said he thought it best he met and get to know our son first. (Funny how he agreed, after I had been telling him that for 2+ years already. At first he had excuses as to why he couldn't schedule it in..... so I let him ramble about all his problems for 15-20 minutes or so. Not that I particularly care, or he even had any business sharing them with me. A week or so later, I broke down and called again. I did get a little teary telling him it really bothered me he didn't see his son, and I was pretty much willing to work out any schedule. HE told me then, it was'nt about me or our son, but about his fears. (Sheesh, a 46 yr old man and his fears. :;-) )

Last weekend, I called a 3rd time and invited him to my sons Halloween skit/play at school. He wasn't able to make that but offered to come over to my house to see him a half hour before the play was to start. He had a delivery near my house. Obviously not going to work and I'm not sure why he thought our son would be home at that time.......He did invite us to his moms place the following Sunday afternoon. That wasn't going to work either because my son already had plans with his grandfather.

So yes, I called again, a 4th time, and we had an argument over something stupid. His coming back at me with crap that happened years ago, and that he offered Sunday...... but I said no. (Argh). At that point, I said fine, Sundays are good for you, so 1:00 Sunday at the game room works for us. I heard him say NO, but I ended the call...... (better to end the call rather than argue, because at that point I was pretty worked up emotionally and po'd.)

We'll he did agree to meet with us later this afternoon at 2'ish at the game room. I confirmed yesterday, while my son was at his grandfathers. I told him I was honestly torn between pushing him like I did, because first, I don't want to push and I believe it should come from him, and secondly, I did so because I wanted to demonstrate I was willing to work with him. I also told him, I was concerned about him seeing our son once and not seeing him again for 6 months. He did mention something breifly about understanding the importance of consistency, and ya, he talked to some girl at work about this.

So I guess we will see how it goes. I'm strangly much more calm today than I was yesterday. Yesterday I was a nervous wreck and my heart was going 240. I didn't fall asleep until early this morning.

I also decided to tell my son about this possible visit Friday evening rather than springing it on him when his dad showed up at the game room. He expressed some concerens/fears, not wanting to see him late friday night not being able to sleep. He was just laying in bed sucking his thumb and staring like he was thinking. He also expressed fears of not seeing me again. Not sure why, and I told him that was not going to happen.

I know a lot of people say it should come from the NCP (non custodial parent) and may not agree with my pushing as I did. Of course, not necessarily from this group, but various groups I've seen over the years. I guess we'll see if my "preaching" about cooperating demonstrates something coming to fruition. (Not sure if those are the right words) and the influence I have had from the far left fathers rights activists. ( Just one, and she can drive me nuts but I like her......and a true friend is one who can disagree in certain area's )

I really hope things work out and he decides to come around, at least twice a month even if it's only for 3-4 hours or so.

Wish us luck, and I'll update how it went later. (My son is 4 and has NO recollection of the few times he saw his father as a baby/toddler.

Just thought I would update and mention it went well. We are seeing my sons father again tomorrow (Sunday). Taking things slowly, and seeing how it goes.

I'm happy for you that it's going in the right direction
Maybe you have an advice to give me? I've already posted this on the father's section to get a man's opinion:
"I'm a single mother of a 18 months old boy. His father has recognised his son and he pays the child support. The father has only seen his son once, when taking the paternity DNA test. He says he doesn't want to have any contact with him. Until now I have not contacted him but I'm thinking of sending him photos of our son and to write him a letter where I tell him more about his first year.
What do you as a man and father think? Should I leave him alone or should I send him the photos and letter?
The father is 28, I'm 37 and we were together for 6 months and the child was not planned. He left us 2 weeks before I gave birth."
Just to add that I'm not interested in him anylonger, I've moved on but I'm doing it for my son.
Sending you lots of positive energy, we need it!