i have recently become aware that my 12 year old girl has been making out with her boyfriend. he lives about 20 miles away, so she never sees him. i want to keep the communication lines open with her while letting her know that i don't approve with her choices. what's the best way to handle this?

Ok when do they see one another that they have the opportunity to make out? That is what should probably be nipped in the bud. I have to say I know I was doing the same at that age, BUT, my parents did not know. It is good you do know, how did you become aware of it?

The problem is they think they know everything from that age on. I spend a lot of time talking to my girls, more important I spend a lot of time listening when they talk to friends, themselves when ever. If you get to forceful with her she will do it just cause she thinks you havent a clue about life and they know it all. Corse as a guy I can scare the willies out of the boys, but I have to use intellegence with my girls. Sue is right, you can limit oppertunaties to make out, but you have to do it in a way that she doesn't think you are restricting her, or you can be at these events that is sure to stop most of it.

MAybe you should just talk to her about it. I'm not saying confront her and tell her you don't approve right away, but it's quite possible she doesn't really know what she is doing. I mean she's 12 and is just starting to learn all this stuff so by talking to in general about this kind of behaviour you may get a better sense as to her feelings as to why she thinks her behaviour is ok, or not. Besides having a general conversation about similar behaviours and consequences of such may open the communication for you to tell her how you feel about it.