I work in the same place as my dad and his locker wa sopen. In it I found a letter from another woman in 2000. My mom tracked this lady down. It turned out to be the friend of the lady my dad had an affair with. See my dad went to cuba in 2000. My mom found pics of this young girl on the beach in a bikin and he said she wasn't anybody. But in the same year he told her when my brother turns 16 he wanted a divorce. My mom stood with him but she always suspect spmething. So when she met the friend the friend confirmed the affair but that it was only so the lady could move to the states. Now the nasty part is the girl is my age so that means my dad messed with her and she was 20 years old and he is in his 50s. So my dad totally believes in "if i ignore it it will go away." theory. My mom confronted him and he just said u don't have anything to worry about. But that didn't make her happy. He confronted me about it and what not. Yes I told her i thought she had a right to know. I told him that they need to talk all she wants is for him to just be honest and admit it. He never did and the days passed on as if nothing had happened. Today I woke up with my 9 months old son in my arms. I went to talk to my mom and she was gone. She sent me an email saying she needed to get away for a while. I told my dad and he said if i hadn';t told her they would be going through this. I then yelled back if he woulda kept his pants on and not held onto that letter then we wouldn't be going through this and that he jusst needed to talk to her. He said he was leaving and packed up his stuf and is moving out. I have no idea where my mom is nor do i know how to contact her. My 17 yo brother was here when my dad gave us a speach. But I am tired. I told my aunt and she said it was my fault for telling my mom I shoulda told my dad first. But she's also the tyupe that feels like a man can do as he pleases especially hit a woman so I don't know what to think. DId i do the right thing. I made such a mess. I'm a 24 yo single mom to a 9 month old and now my mom might be a single mom too. help.Sorry I know this is all jumbled up but I'm a wreck.

OH JJsMama1112,
Yes, what a mess.
Well, it�s probably true that almost everyone of us has a few �dead bodies in the cellar� (=something in his life he can�t tell his loved ones or his life will be completely upset).
And you uncovered one of these, so now, it�s ALL YOUR FAULT.
NOT
Don�t let them him put the blame on you.
He messed up, and it�s his responsibility.
Try to relax. You can�t do much anyways. It�s their fight.
It�s surely not the first time your parents have a bad domestic fight. And if they want to divorce, they will, and if they want to fix it, they will.
Remember, you�re �only a child� in this context.
Can you contact your Mom via email ? She sent you a message once, she won�t leave you without news of her now, I don�t think.
Just remember, it�s not your fight, and you�re not responsible.

I agree with Red. You are not the one that "made such a mess".
I do hope that things will calm down for your family though. Hang in there and don't let yourself take the blame.

Hi,
Iam with red and dsconstructs on this.Don't blame yourself.

Hang in there.

Mark

Your dad made the mess. Period. Don't let anyone blame you. I think you did the right think. Not only did your dad make the mess but he has refused to try and clean any of it up! People forget that when they cheat on a spouse they are cheating on the whole family! Email your mom. Tell her your dad said he is leaving. Maybe she will come back and you can pull together minus your dad and try to heal your family.

Oh yeah - ignore your aunt.

Hello,
I can only imagine what you must be feeling. You were damned if you told and damned if you didn't. REMEMBER THAT! Guilt is a waist of your time. You have nothing to feel bad about. You didn't do anything out of spite of to purposely hurt anyone. You did what you thought was right and what you would have wanted if it had been you in the same spot. Your mom just needs time to feel and deal with her pain. Hang in there, she will come back and sort it all out for herself. Everyone in here is right, it is not your mistake to fix or your fight to fight. I hope you feel better soon.

I just found this, sorry if Im retreving old posts but... OMG... firstly, Id have to commemorate you, for being the only honest, pro - active person involved... Your father did something decietful then continued to lie about it and deny any ill feeling and thought on your mothers side suggesting these things...Your mother had to find out, but it should of been your fathers responsibility to tell her and the kids.. but it wasnt so shame on him... and of course by all means you are not responsible...it was a train accident that had already happened.
Good luck to you and your beautiful baby.
Peace

I am also bringing up a old post, but I would have to agree, your mother had the right to know, and don't blame yourself.
In life its easier to blame someone else then look at yourself and find the problem and this is exactly what he has done,he is blaming you so he dont have to take a long hard look at himself.
Im sorry your mom left hun, I am sure she will return.

Good luck