Could really use some friendly support on keeping "it" all together in the face of every day frustrations, raising the (teenage boys)kids, taking care of parents from miles away, pressures from work, while still trying to get through a divorce...not too many close friends nearby who can identify with these issues since most are not going it alone...(did I also mention there's no local family support network since I live too far away?)

What words of wisdom can one offer at the height of frustration when EVERYTHING is on my head at once (not to mention both kids with ADHD, the soon-to-be-ex is barely involved and physically ill....)

Hang in there! I'm sorry you are having to do so much....but I as well as many others on this forum can and DO relate to you and what you are going through b/c we are in the same boat!

How old are your boys? I have 3 teens (19, 15 and 14)Two are boys, the middle one is a girl.
My 19 is in college but down for the summer break.

My 2 younger kids dad is locked up and will be for about 3 more months.
I have been through alot but will not build on my hardhsips....those things did make me stonger and wiser, though.
Even though it has been tough, esp. now that the kids are teens, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my kids so much and even though they do not give me any credit (right now) and even though we knock heads occasionally....I am so glad that I was the one the courts decided should have the kids. I was the one that was stable and I'm just so grateful to have them here w/me.....
Teen years....it's almost over. Before you know it, they will be out of our homes (but not our hearts) and we will miss them so! Treasure each moment with them....cherish them. They will feel the love and eventually it will pay off.

Look for oragnizations in your area that may be able to assist you in some way....don't take "no" for an answer...there HAS to be SOMETHING in place! Keep looking-become determined.
Keep your chin up! You CAN do this!

BTW.....welcome to the board (forgive my manners).....

Another thing that has helped me to make it....was and IS my Faith in the Lord...I'd be down and out by now without Him! He is my source of strength...and when I can hardly put one foot in front of the other...I know He will help me.

Cheers to you! And again, welcome to the forum....I hope you find it comfortable here and know that you are now among friends!

One more thing...are the kids on meds for their ADHD ?

Divorce is never fun. Seems like there is a lot on your plate and a lot of pressure keeping everythig balanced.

I've been divorced for over 10 years and have two boys (12 and 15) and remember it was an incredible time that made me feel like I was going down with the ship and barely treading water for many months afterwards.

There are some excellent divorce recovery programs many churches offer. They help you sort out your feelings, reorganize your finance, look for resources, and also help empower you to manage your household.

there are also many posters here who have just gone through a divorce recently that will share their feelings and decisions with you if you ask.

When I'm overwhelmed with a lot of responsibilities that no one else seems to offer a hand, I prioritize and work on the top 3 issues. I won't get them all solved but I'm working on three of them today.

Best wishes to you.

Thanks for the words of encouragement folks...I am typically one of the most optimistic people I know and I don't often let on (to most people) that I'm going through a tough time...it's just not me to divulge my personal problems to folks so I really do appreciate your generosity of spirit and sharing...I myself am an educator (special ed), so I make it my business to know and understand everything there is to know about the ADHD my kids have, and I spend a great deal of time and energy on implementing strategies to make everyone's lives better...in addition, I am one of those folks who actually love spending time with my boys as people and not just as my kids...and you're right, despite all the agony and frustration, THE MOST IMPORTANT thing I can do is to help them grow to be happy, healthy, proud and productive individuals...can't help but doubt myself sometimes though, since I'm not the male role model they really should have....I do my best, but is it enough?

I find myself asking the same question ....is what I do enough?

quote:

I do my best, but is it enough?

Doing your BEST is enough. You're human, we all make mistakes. Its the most anyone can ask of you, including your children.

I heard once that failure is the abscense of a plan, to walk with no direction and expect great things to happen.

I heard once that failure is the abscense of a plan, to walk with no direction and expect great things to happen.[/QUOTE]


I think we all have a plan to raise our kids to be independent, healthy and happy individuals, but sometimes even the best laid plans....and as far as walking with direction, what about when you come to a fork in the road?

I don't like those forks in the roads .

I don't think it's failure when you choose a path with the best intentions. You can't go back but you can still change the path once you're on it.

Coin flipping and leaving it up to fate not faith is risky. Speaking metaphorically.... if there is a sale on awsome purses and your at the table trying to decide... the longer you wait fate will give you leftovers. If you dive in with faith and pick whatever purse God may want you to have, you may have a miracle. If you know what you want and dash for it, more than likely you'll get it.

Very good, tessmit.....I can absolutely relate to the purse analogy.
And I do think you are right by adding that trying your best IS good enough....makes me think....I like thought-provoking issues.... kinda has me looking at things in a different light.