Robin/Don,

I know there are rules set here and I respect them. It seems you might be interested in feedback from the people that use your board, however.

Would you consider suggestions if they were agreed upon by a significant number of users? We could set up polls even...

Thanks,
Bobby

I personally see no reason to change policy. Are there any policies you are specifically referring to BB? I actually decided to join because ofo how impressed I was with the guidelines.

I am wondering the same thing, anything specific you have in mind?
Keep in mind, I don't/didn't make the rules. This forum's policies were in place long before I came here.
PM me if you'd like to Bobby.

Well, an adults only folder would be nice.

A folder that members can choose to avoid when their kids might look over their shoulder...a folder where other members can go without worrying about whether they're going too far.

I know we've been getting close to the edge in some threads...I've heard some other people say they'd like an adult area...thought that I'd make the suggestion...

Later,
Bobby

An adult area where I was left unfettered. Oh my I don't know if the world would be ready for that one. But I agree an 18 plus area would be fun.

Not sure how exactly Robin would/will address this.

Honestly I'm not so sure that there needs to be an "adult" area to the forum. Though I do have no doubt that it would be used by some. I do know of the threads that teeter close to going over the edge with the subject matter, and I typically cringe a little sometimes reading, hoping that they don't fall over that edge either. Thing is, I don't really see that any of the issues this board was designed to address can't be addressed within the current guidelines. I do feel that this is a big reason why this board has done so well in growth, it is one of the largest forums of this nature, to my knowledge it is the largest. I know there are members, not just about kids catching a glimpse, that would tend to be offended by some of the subject matter in such an area being proposed. Yeah, I know, you can say "well then don't go in that section", the thing is that it's still there and reflects on the site regardless. So I have to question, will some not participate knowing such material exists on the site? Could be. Will some not participate because such material doesn't exist on the site? Highly doubtful.
Anyway, I'm really just another member here, that found this site with it's guidelines, and actually I liked the respectful manner in which people dealt with one another and their issues. In my personal life I don't always act as "tame" as I do in open forum, but I can respect the fact that many would rather not have to read some of what I'm capable of. I do think that's what keeps this site's membership as strong as it is and growing rapidly all the time.

So anyway, I'm tired tonight if you can't tell from some of that rambling, but wanted to try to put my thoughts in about it. The real deal is how Robin feels about it anyway, I just participate here.

As much as I hate to admit it I do think your right Don. When things are left without guidelines it tends to not take long before they turn into chaos. An "adult area" could very well draw the wrong kind of crowd which could then spill into other areas on the board. What starts as simple fun soon can turn into just awful stuff. (guilty, guilty)That's why I like chatrooms so much, it gives me a place to let loose my demons without keeping a public record of them. If I get too bad someone always has the wisdom to boot me out for the night. I would say if there are others that would like to have a kind of parent playtime maybe we should exchange messenger ID's and set up kid free times in there where we could schedule times to get together. Then you don't have to worry about offending or scaring off anyone.

Now we're talking about a chat room aren't we? I thought we had something like that already?

There is already a room for feedback. It does get used and there are replies. Maybe a discussion there would resolve some of the issues.

My personal opinion is this. I like SFV the way it is. I find myself coming back here because it is tame. Sure some threads get racy, but nothing that has caused me to shudder. It's because of the guidelines that those threads were/are so funny. The temptation of crossing the line is more thrilling than the act of crossing the line...and how far along before "the Don" steps in. It is a place that has it's excitements at times.

I have visited many forums. Even the tech forums haven't the respect I see and read on here. The people on here don't seem like distant fingers typing on a keyboard without a face. I think it's the guidelines here that has brought this group together. That's just what I think.

That was my point, well I was trying for it anyway, that SFV is good the way it is. But if there were some members who wished to cross the line it should be taken out of the forum. Using the chatroom here would be keeping it within the forum which is open to all eyes thus potentially offending someone. I do agree that sometimes the thrill of maybe standing on the line is what makes it funny.

quote:

Originally posted by jaydsdad:

My personal opinion is this. I like SFV the way it is. I find myself coming back here because it is tame. Sure some threads get racy, but nothing that has caused me to shudder. It's because of the guidelines that those threads were/are so funny. The temptation of crossing the line is more thrilling than the act of crossing the line...and how far along before "the Don" steps in. It is a place that has it's excitements at times.

I have visited many forums. Even the tech forums haven't the respect I see and read on here. The people on here don't seem like distant fingers typing on a keyboard without a face. I think it's the guidelines here that has brought this group together. That's just what I think.

Ditto ... yep, I agree... mmhmm - what he said!

quote:

Originally posted by Don:
[qb]So I have to question, will some not participate knowing such material exists on the site? Could be. Will some not participate because such material doesn't exist on the site? Highly doubtful.[/qb]

Well, I disagree with that...many successful sites use unmoderated sections. There really is a range of what different people find acceptable; allowing some division between those people is what allows sites to grow.

The most obvious topic is ***. I believe that most of the people here would put it in their top 5 single parent issues(/problems), yet the word can't even be mentioned without being star-star-starred. I wouldn't mind seeing the political and religious threads in an unmoderated section too...some topics are best when everyone gets their honest say, and it's understood by entering the thread that they may not like what everyone(/anyone) says. Really, it'd give you a new option when you found an objectionable thread...you could now move it to an age restricted section.

Anyway...I'm sure you'll get lots of praise for how you run the site, and you do deserve it (thanks for moving this to the right folder BTW). I'm just saying, giving room to a group that does not quite fit the site might be good for everybody.

Later,
Bobby

Bobby,
To attempt to address this honestly with you, there are times when I find myself a little conflicted when trying to address topics along these lines. But I will try to muddle through and see if I make sense and also not get myself into too much trouble
Obviously the word *** is autoedited on this site. This is because it's Robin's "house" as she often refers to it and her house rules. She prefers that the topic of *** not be discussed. Meanwhile there are a number of words not yet in the autoedit system that are much more shocking than that little three letter word. To me personally I can see both sides of the coin here. I think that certain topics along those lines wouldn't be too offensive to any member while other topics along those lines would be. For example, to be honest again, I just deleted a post made today by a member that was obviously very much over the top for acceptable subject matter to the forum, and yes it was in a thread that is discussing that three letter word subject though at least in a manner that is staying pretty respectable. Even with the policies about that one subject, you'll notice that I don't completely edit the subject as a whole from the site, this also means that I often am using personal judgement weighed with the members wishes in mind vs. the house rules. The user's agreement does clearly state that topics sexually oriented are not allowed. I already get accused on occasion of being over zealous with editing, and most times I have to either chuckle at it or be offended by that knowing that I do already allow a certain leeway on clearly stated policy. And yes, I feel like I'm sticking my neck on the chopping block by even stating this in open forum. Particularly when my suggestion is this.....send a PM to Robin, after all this is her house and I am merely a servant here, and include a link to this thread. She can then read this subject and all responses and respond in her own words and state her opinion on this. Because again, I am really just another member here though in a unique position that I have been trusted to attempt to help keep this site in running order according to the wishes of the owner. I can only try to interpret those wishes to the best of my ability and try to participate and act accordingly.
I surely can't speak for Robin, I may be able to make semi-educated guesses what her thoughts on some issues may be, at the same time other issues I have a very clear understanding of what her wishes are, but the truth is I can't say for sure what her response exactly would be on this.

As a moderator I can tell you that there are topics in the past, a particular political topic comes to mind that quickly caused a lot of hard feelings between a number of members on the site. These feelings definitely carried over into numerous other threads and was a temporary nightmare for me to try to moderate and keep peace. As scoutmom said above, this is also what I could see possibly happening as well if a non-moderated forum as you suggest were in place.

You know, if someone didn't know the word that was being autoedited, my thread above could be seriously misinterpreted! Try inserting other words for the ***'s sometime...it's funny...

I'll PM a link to Robin and see what she says.

Thanks,
Bobby

Okay I have to give my 2 cents on this one.
I have to agree with Don and Jd. I personally like this site because of it's "house rules" and the moderators like Don, JD and the others.
I personally do not wish to share my personal "affairs" with the forum nor do I wish to be subject to seeing others. I realize all I have to do is avoid the area but still it is not appropriate. Things of this nature are for private between couples, not the public.
I also agree with Don that creating an area for such content is a great way to harvest hard feeling between members. On an average this site harvests wonderful emotions and a great support for all who need it. It would be a total shame if it could no longer do so because a few people wish to have an "adult" room.

I also have to agree with Scoutsmom. If this is the type of conversation you wish to participate in please take it else where in private. There are plenty of other sites and chat rooms that support that type of conversations that it does not need to be brought here.

I personally think that this type of content is way to out in the open to begin with. Our children see it where ever they go, regular t.v. radio, movies, music and ect. Then some parents wonder why 10,12,13 year olds are trying to get pregnant or having "affairs" We are role models for our child they see far more than we know.

Now we have had some threads with flirting and innuendoes. I do believe in having some fun. Honestly I also have to agree that flirting is much more fun than further conversation.

The bottom line is I don't think any less of anyone engaging in these type conversations. Hey if you are having fun go for it, but please do not bring it into my private home, Thank you.

I agree with Tomany . This forum is called Single Family Voices -- note the word Family -- hardly a place for an adult section! My son is 7 yrs old and is a pretty good reader for his age. I have this forum listed under my Favorites so that I can access it easily. His games are also listed under Favorites on my computer. He only needs to click the wrong one, get into this forum and if an adult section is created he gets an education that I do not want him to obtain at his tender age. I say leave this forum the way it is -- nice, safe and respectable. Thank you.