Parent Definitions

Amnesia: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again.

Defense: what you'd better have around the yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: how teething babies wash their chins.

Family Planning: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you from falling into financial disaster.

Feedback: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Owww: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Prepared Childbirth: a contradiction in terms.

Puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

Sterilize: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Store Room: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

Top Bunk: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-Minute Warning: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Lmao, very funny, and so true. ;P

hahaha

Laurie, where you at my house when you wrote those, because it seemed like a typical weekend around here. LOL

omg u just had me laughing out loud. they are so so true!!