The state is taking my ex to court for non-payment of child support this Tuesday. Has anyone gone through this? I don't know what to expect. Will they give the parent a chance to speak? I also really want to be reimbursed for all the medical bills and insurance premiums I've paid which my ex was responsible for, but I can't seem to get much info from the Attorney General's office here in Texas. They started garnishing his wages for both current and back support a few weeks ago, but didn't cancel the court date....so what more can be done? Medical support is the only thing I can think of.
I'm really nervous about this. I haven't seen my ex since 2004. He has a lot of problems; he could be the poster person for borderline personality disorder. Confronting him isn't going to be easy. I have a lot of pent of anger and frustration over his hiding out and quitting jobs to avoid paying child support, and yet I know I could push the wrong button and have to deal with a nut case.
My son is now 18 so custody isn't an issue.

Welcome to the board.

Is there current support due? I think in Oregon that if there isn't current support then support enforcement doesn't get involved. As for the medical expenses I don't know if they will help on that either, depending on how much it is you can go after it yourself and ask for expenses to collect.

By the way the mom of my 3 oldest is Narcissistic and the mom of my 3 youngest is BPD.

I am taking her to court for contempt on the 17.

We know how to pick 'em, don't we.

As for current support....if what they garnished goes towards currant first, then to back payments, he would be considered current.

I guess I'm hoping that since the original order included medical payments and insurance that they will add this to his amount due. But the letter they sent me doesn't mention it. Then again, it doesn't tell what specific court room it's going to be in either. I'm glad it's a small court house.

I just got back from court! As you probably guessed from the smiley face, it went well.
They took us to a separate room to negotiate an agreement and of course the word 'negotiate' set off a red flag with me immediately. But there was no argument from my ex on the back support owed. He gave a long list of excuses as to why he hadn't paid, but the state attorney simply waited until he was through than asked if he was gainfully employed now and planned to stay that way so he could pay what he owed. Short and Sweet. She also amended the order to include back insurance premiums that I had paid and 1/2 of all medical bills not covered by insurance that I had paid. Per the divorce, he's responsible for both. And now they are on record with the court and included in all money owed, so he HAS to reimburse me right along with making his child support payments. They put him on unsupervised probation, which means he can't stop payments or they will pick him up and take him off to jail. I won't get much a month, but something every month is a heck of a lot better than nothing!
At one point during the discussions my ex got rude, and I was really glad the door was open and a nice big deputy was out in the hall. You never know, one minute he'll be calm and the next he's exploding. I don't know if it was just the drinking, he's an alcoholic, or if maybe he's doing something else too, but he looked awful. Red sunken eyes and the skin on his face was sagging and grey. And he couldn't sit still; he was constantly fidgeting and moving back and forth in his chair. As hard as it is for a child to grow up without a father, in this case, I think it has been a blessing.

This is a good week! Yesterday my boss flew in and told me he's wants to expand the business and for me to think about whether or not I want to run both facilities. Like that takes thought. Let's see, do I want a promotion and a raise or not?????? lol

Hey,

Let me be the first to say Congratulations! It sounds like you got everything you deserved, and that the whole experience was relatively painless. You know, I've never had my ex in court for non-payment of support, but I did take her back once to have it modified and it sounds like our two experiences were nearly identical. Thanks for telling your story!

Congrats on the job offer too! Is the job going to make you busier? Heh...hate to look at the dark side of things (hey, it's what I do), but often better jobs come with more responsibilities and those are hard to satisfy as a Single Parent sometimes. Heh...I swear I'm not trying to be a downer...just looking at everything...

Later,
Bobby

Thank you! Thank you!

And yes, there will be more responsibility with the job. I am pretty well swamped now at work, and often have to stay late, arrive early, and work through lunch to keep pace. It's one of the things that I'll have to work out with my boss; he's going to have to hire more help. I've delegated all I could to others but now they're full.
My son is a highschool senior, so it's easier to spend more time at work than when he was younger. And my boss is also very good about family issues. This week I'll be taking off early on a couple of days because of Prom and there is never a problem with things like that. Any time I've had to leave because of a kid thing he's been more than understanding.

lol...I should have read your profile first. Wow...you're almost out of the single parent woods! Seriously, congratulations on the new job. It sounds like wonderful things are happening in your life right now.

You know, I sometimes think about what's going to happen with me and my job once my son is older. I have *really* sacrificed my performance at work, in order to do more things for/with my son. You know, I'm sort of torn...either I'll put all my effort into working and become a billionaire, or I'll quit my job and live the life of an aimless bum. Fortunately I still have a few years to decide...

Anyway...thanks for sharing your story. Always great to hear good things.

Later,
Bobby