Hello!
Unfortunatly iam still in love big time with my ex fiance we have been split 2 years and he has a new girlfriend.. we split up on very bad terms and argued alot over our son.. finally we have sorted all the details over our son through court and that was rough but we seem to be getting on really well now.. I tought i was over him and even starting dating again but it never seemed to work out with any one maybe cause i was thinking more of the way things were with him compared to other guys..Now the past few weeks i have done nothing but think about him and the way things should of been..i have even come close to telling him how i feel which is a real bad idea as i no he would just laugh at me but i do not no what to do and worst of all is that i see him ever 2 weeks cause of our son and this kills me altogether.. can anybody give me suggestions as to how i get over him im only 23 and i feel like im 40 im afraid that i will never meet a guy like him again and this is really depressing me and effecting my work and my relationship with my friends and family cause they don't seem to understand they keep reminding me how badly we treated each other but this dose not help.. any advice people

Well I am not sure if I can give you great advise but I can sure try.

It is very normal for you to feel this way. You are the mother of his child, that all together is a very strong bond you two will always share. If you are still in love with him for the right reasons (not because of your child)but you honestly still love him, I think you should tell him. Tell him because it will make you feel better. It isn't healthy to keep something like that inside! But remember, the relationship ended for a reason! I am not sure how it ended but someone wasn't happy. Do you think your relationship with him could turn into a forever if it didn't the first time?

I am only 21 and I also felt that I wouldn't fall in love again. But it happens. It happened to me. If you don't sort out your feelings for this guy you won't be able to have a relationship with someone else.

I wish you nothing but the best!!

It is natrual for you to sit back and think about what could have and should have beens, but if you think about it if it should have been then it would be!!! I think about things at times then I remember the way things really were when we were together!! Life was mirable! When we are in a relationship and then go single agian at first it is great then we start to have to do things on our own and then we think " well if I was with him right knwo I would do this or I could do that, but you know what, yeah it maybe streessful at times being a single mommy but it will get better and when it does it gets a lot better.... TRUST ME!*!! Good luck

Thanks guys for this but i am totally besotted with him.. saw him again yesterday when i went to collect my son and i could not stop my stomach from getting all funny i kept smileing at him i think he has a fair idea and in knowing this he can always get the better of me over our child keeping him extra days etc..If i were to admit it to him i think he would use this to his advantage and i don't think i could cope with that to be honest...

You have to ask yourself if you want him because you want to be a family. You also need to make you don't want him because it is comfortable you know him he is a kind of safety net. Why now after 2 years do you want him could it be because he has someone and you don't. It is easier to go back to what you know then start over. I am not trying to be negative, but if you truely love him I would tell him because you will always wonder what if. It will be really hard to do because he has a girlfriend and you have to have big balls to do it but if you can at least you could be finished with it once and for all. You can only hold on for so long. It isn't health for you to stop living because of someone else.

it's tuff. my ex of five months is not the father of my son but i'm still not completely over him. as far as the guy thing. i know how it feels. we agured alot and he was abusive to my son and i. i went through alot of crap (therapy, meds, etc) just trying to get back to normal.

but when i hear, think of seem him i get depressed a little. i still find myself comparing him to other guys i date and as you know that just does not work well. its tuff to get over it.

my friends and family are like stay away from him. hes a jerk they remind me of how he treated me and my son. i know the facts and reality but my heart and mind tends to only remeber the good sometimes. know what i mean.

when i just lonely for him i think of the cons of being with him. i wasn't allowed to see any of my frineds for family. i was taken away from my mom and my best friend. they were there for me during and after the whole thing but it was stressful and tough. i lost so much when i was with him. so i think about the bads and it makes is easier to get over him.

i know for me it's the whole being with someone. i really miss that. maybe it's because i long for him because he is a comfort zone and i'm not really in love still like i think i am?! maybe that's what it is for you. a comfort zone is a hard thing to move out of.

it could be also that you had a child with him. that's normal. i know when i was 19 i felt as if i was still in love with my son's father. as i grow older i found out it was just because i wanted and expected to have him coming back to be the big daddy. it did not happen. there are days when i think of my son's father and miss him it's been six years since we have had a relationship or spoken really to each other. i guess i'll always have a certain spot for him in my heart that will never go away.

to be honest with him is hard if you know he will laugh in your face. maybe you should take that risk. i don't know it could turn out to be a good thing and have good results in the end.

i hope i could help you but aleast you know that there is someone else out there that has the same feelings as you for a guy.

smvt

Hey guys
Thanks i do no what ye are saying and deffinatly it is true about the comfort zone he gave me eveything i ever dreamed of a house a life i taught i would never have have things like that he told me every day how much he loved me he was very romantic but i was only 18 when we met and he was much older so i just did not believe him taught it was all a farse really i really hurt him but he always forgave me but when it came to the real crunch of " do you love me back" i could not really answere back because i knew i really did but did not want to admit it..I gave up a lot for this guy and he never respected me for that. I no im better of because we were not good for each other but love is strange and it can relly change peoples perspective in life..I think i am better of alone that way i no i cant be hurt again..

I always am reminded of that phrase "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" It always sounded like suck a crock to me....but now i believe it is true. You learn a lot from caring for someone and them caring for you and when you lose them it is extremely hard to get back up from the fall....you tend to think you will never find someone again or you are better off alone. I have spent a good part of the past year feeling this way. But it isn't true hon, that's the thing. You DO have an extremely special bond with your ex that will always be there, and it does hurt thinking about not being with him, i know, i go thru this every day. I never loved my ex, but because of this pregnancy, i care for him more than ever. However, i know i will eventually find someone else who i love and who loves me and my child. You will too. There is hope even tho u may not think so now. You are not better off alone, don't say that....besides you aren't alone anyway, you have your little one, and all of us who love you! But you will also find a man who loves both you and your child, i know you will! Keep having faith honey! It will all get better!