Lately, my ex has entered my mind a lot. Which I hope is not a sign that he will be coming back anytime soon. I keep thinking about him and I get angry. I dont want to think about him anymore, i just want him to go away. I'm sick of thinking about him. Does this every go away?

It's like seasons,....events, times of year, locations, even some errands or foods just bring that person back to mind. It get less and less as time goes by.

for example:
At night, every time I go out to close the gates and lock up.... I remember this one night when "THE woman" (now EX GF from last year) drove up to surprise me, as I was locking up and we spent the most romantic little while just talking and "nuzzling" under the moonlight and the light from her car dome light.

For the longest time I used to look down the street hoping she was pulling up as I locked up for the evening.

Very nice, sweet memory...but as time goes by it's gottne less and less strong.

Ditto that....although some things are heriditary and will freak you out at times. My son walks just like my ex and has a few quirky things just like my ex did. It still baffles me because he never really saw him do any of those things! Took me a long time to get over it and convincing myself that my son was his own person and would not turn out the same way just because of a few quirks.

Time heals all wounds...just believe in yourself! ;-)

I totally understand how you feel. But in time it does go away and even when you do think of him, you will not get angry or upset. You will move on from the whole thing.

How I think of the whole thing is my ex is my son's father. For me I want to remember everything that happened with him even the bad. I know one day my son will have his own opinion of his father and he will ask me about him. Never once have I talked negatively about my ex but my son does have the right to know what has happened.

Sometimes the way Kai will look once in a while or make a face, she looks exactly like her dad. Makes me sad that she will never know the good side of him personally, but I can tell her the good things about him and when shes asks why we weren't together, I will tell her the truth. I will not lie to her.

She definately is stubborn like he is.

Oh man...my little one (youngest) is a carbon copy of her mother! LOL But I dont hate that...my ex is not, and was not an evil person... ....just stupid. LOL

My is not all bad, he had his good points. But his bad points are what tore us apart - i.e. drug addict, selfishness, sleeping with another woman. lol Those were fun times! Bah!

But get this . . instead of being a drug addict, he is now an evangelist spreader. lol

quote:

Originally posted by smshybug:
Sometimes the way Kai will look once in a while or make a face, she looks exactly like her dad.

She definately is stubborn like he is.

My youngest who's 12 does that time to time. He hasn't been around dad nearly enough to say some of the things he says. It creeps me out a little since some of them are bad habits.


when you find yourself in a relationship with an amazing man, I promise you'll forget about your ex. You may not even have 2nd thoughts.

quote:

Oh man...my little one (youngest) is a carbon copy of her mother! LOL But I dont hate that...my ex is not, and was not an evil person... ....just stupid. LOL

My ex is not an evil guy either - was just stupid and did some stupid things....were you ever able to forgive? I am having a hard time with that right now. He thinks forgiveness is the path to us getting back together but I say I am not that stupid...I want him to have an amazing relationship with his children because he is an amazing father - he is just stupid when it comes to their mother! I don't say much about the bad things that he has done to my children and try to shelter them as much as I can. I have internalized (sp?)a lot of my anger in regards to him.

Did anyone watch the show on tv last night about the 30 year old dating the 20 somethings and the 40 somethings...like that really ever happens ....oh yes, we all look like Demi Moore and all 20 somethins look like Ashton Kutcher. Afraid not! I do really look like those women on tv (not!!) so what is my problem?

quote:

Originally posted by itcomesback2u:
....were you ever able to forgive? I am having a hard time with that right now....I want him to have an amazing relationship with his children because he is an amazing father - he is just stupid when it comes to their mother! ....oh yes, we all look like Demi Moore and all 20 somethins look like Ashton Kutcher. Afraid not! I do really look like those women on tv (not!!) so what is my problem?

Forgiveness? I'd say "mostly".....(honestly). For things done to myself? yeah, no problem, I dont care anymore. Things she's done that affected my kids? That's a different story.

I have NOT forgiven Kai's dad for what he did. I have NOT forgiven him for how he hurt me. I dont know that I will ever forgive him for what he has done regarding Kai. I think it's ******** for someone to do that to a kid. On the other hand, I am happy he's gone. Yup i'm angry!

There's a possibility that one day, you may find yourself with a man who will love you completely. It will hurt him to hurt you and you may feel the same. You may find yourself wondering why you ever felt the way that you did.

Right now, I'm trying to get over the story a friend of mine told me about dating again. She said, they were starting to get intimate when she discovered......... he had a hairy back.

OMG... how do you keep a straight face ... I hope it was dark, since I knew she was shocked.

Forgiveness? LOl hmmm not an expert topic of mine.

I just realize there are some things that I am not ready to forgive a person for...and I have come to realize, sometimes that it is okay so long as you work out the anger and you don't carry that anger for the rest of your life.

My trick is I just let go and let the person go, than the need for forgiving someone who is never there to begin with is not so great. I have learned to walk away faster.

Well, since my curiousity got the best of me, I took a look at my ex's myspace page . . . he is now in his 5th relationship since he left me. How can someone like him get into so many relationships and I can't even find one! ?!?!? I think i'm gonna cry.

Don't torture yourself! For some reason, people go for the "bad actor" type...the sad this that we did at one time too....you just need to focus on the fact that you got out of a not so great situation, moved on with your life and have (or getting) further than you probably ever thought you could. You are intelligent, self confident, and self reliant. Focus on that and not what he's doing...

Oh, and the reason why you haven't found anyone yet is that you've learned to be more selective and more sure of what you don't want...good things come to those who wait...just hang in there!