When i picked up my kids from their dad's this weekend he started yelling at me saying that my fiancee is disrespecting my son. Obvioulsy, my son told his dad something, but he won't admit it. Should I confront his dad and ask what's up? I just don't know what to do. I didn't want to get into it with him in front of the kids, but I would like to know what's going on!

I would ask your son's dad away from your son. Then ask your son away from his dad. Try to do this in a calm manner separately and you may find what was said. I dont have much experience with this so sorry it's short advice.

Is there any way you could just sit quiet for now and watch the interaction between your son and fiance.See if there is a problem, your son could have said something that dad has taken wrong.Just a suggestion.hugs goodluck Gail

How is your relationship with your son's dad? From your first post, I'm assuming you're not exactly best friends...

If your son is uncomfortable with your fiance, you really should have seen something by now. Are you in denial?? or is your ex just trying to start something?? You might want to go over the whole situation in your head before you start something that could get out of control. If you accuse your fiance of something he's not doing, it will only hurt the relationship and the trust.

But if you have reason to believe your fiance is actually disrespecting your children, you shouldn't even address the issue. Just get rid of him. Not worth the drama. And apologize to your kids.

BUT... if your son is whining to his dad because he doesn't want another man in his house taking over his dad's place, then just talk to your son. Give him a change to tell you how he feels about the whole situation.

Talking to the ex will probably result in an argument and end with nothing accomplished.

So, to sum it up, my advice is this... figure out what's going on your own, because if you really think about it, you already know. And talk to your son because he's hurting.

First of all, why is he yelling at you and disrepecting you, isn't this exactly what he's pissed about, DISRESPECT?? Second of all, if your son doesn't want to fess up to what he said, I would definitely confront his dad, providing you can do so in a civil fashion. I would want to get to the bottom of this, without question!

Thanks to everyone for all the feedback. My son and my fiancee have had a rocky relationship in the past, but it is better now than it has ever been. My kids and I are in the middle of moving in with him and my son couldn't be more excited. He is constantly asking what he can do to help. Maybe that's the problem. His dad doesn't like seeing this. Just to fill in some of the blanks, I don't know when my ex last had a job. He doesn't pay child support. He lives with his girlfriend, and sponges off of her and his 70-something grandparents. As you can see, he has no idea what respect is about.

Alex, you are right. I do know what is going on. I just didn't know if i should make an issue of it or not. Bottom line, i don't want him treating me that way, especially in front of the kids. I want to make it stop!

Thanks again everybody!

quote:

Originally posted by cincymomof2:
[qb] Thanks to everyone for all the feedback. My son and my fiancee have had a rocky relationship in the past, but it is better now than it has ever been. My kids and I are in the middle of moving in with him and my son couldn't be more excited. He is constantly asking what he can do to help. Maybe that's the problem. His dad doesn't like seeing this. Just to fill in some of the blanks, I don't know when my ex last had a job. He doesn't pay child support. He lives with his girlfriend, and sponges off of her and his 70-something grandparents. As you can see, he has no idea what respect is about.
[/qb]

That makes sense...he could very well be just trying to stir the ****

My kids go to their dad's when he is not working. I've had similar things happen where their dad would start yelling because of something the kids had told him. It works out so much better when it can be handled as a discussion & not a yelling match. The really hard thing is that the rules are different at both houses. They have more freedom @ their dad's, or @ least my son does. It seems like my daughter can't get by with as much things as my son.
It would be best if you talk with your kid's dad & let him know you don't want your son to feel like he is being disrespected & you need to know what he told him so that you can get it resolved. Is it possible that your son would discuss the matter with your fiancee? If your fiancee went to him & apologized that he felt he was disrespected, but he needs to know what it was that he did that made him feel that way.

Hope this helps,
Unicorn