Help! My daughter is 18 months old and has only met her father once about 6 months ago. He has never bothered to pay child support or to even call to check up on her. I told him he could see her only at my house with me supervising the visits (I wish he wouldn't see her at all though). He says he wants to take her out sometime but I will not let that happen. He has been diagnoised with bipolar disorder and impulse control disorder and frankly I'm afraid of what might happen if he's alone with her. Do I have to let him see her? What will happen if he decides to go to court seeking unsupervised visitation? I know my daughter will want to know who her father is but I really don't think he will be a good influence on her. Also Child Support Enforcement is handling the child support but everytime they go to granish his wages he quites the job and he's only been ordered to pay me 50 dollars a month, which I find insane. Should I tell him I need more or will that just hurt my situation more? Any advice would be helpful thanks.

I'm not sure how it works in Virginia, but are support and visitation decided at the same time? If he has already been ordered to pay support, I think there must be some legal document regarding visitation. (I may be wrong.) If there is, you'll have to follow it whether or not he's honoring his support payments.

My advice would be to consult with an attorney, or maybe start with a social worker who knows the system (the latter might be a less expensive route).

I am sorry to hear that he isn't more responsible and that one minute he won't visit and the next minute he wants to see her. He should either be in or be out - it's not in her best interests for him to be flighty. I'm sure this is a difficult situation for you and wish you luck.

I believe if he's got that sort o psychiatric disorder, he won't be allowed to see the kid without supervision, is he getting any treatment? it's a difficult situation, get all the information u can
GOOD LUCK!

I definitely agree with Kimber. Talk to a social worker and I'm sure they can help you with your situation. From what you've said, it sounds like there's only a slim chance the father will be able to visit your child without supervision. I wouldn't stress about that too much. As for the child support. I have a similar situation with my ex-husband. He only gives me $150 a month. I used to get child support deducted from his paycheck. BUt since he quit his job, I've only been getting what he "can" give me. In my opinion, I just let him be because once I'm done with school I'm going to hire a lawyer and take him to court for all the child support he owes me. For now, I don't want to stress about it because I want to stay focused on school.

I hope this somehow helped you...good luck!

I read your message let me tell you one thing .. first is the child support is on his A... and trust me they dont mess around, especially with dead beat dads like that .. ( I have been there.. and he has no medical disorder) so right there should speak for itself on his IQ level.. lol.. but really, I am sure if has any kind of noodles up there still if he hasnt lost them all, because he knows to quit a job so they cant get him.. oh they can run but they cant hide .. I would dare him to take you to court.. what exactly would he have to fear in being infront of a judge and daring to try and get some kind of visatation .. if he is as stupid as my ex .. you will get a good sore tummy from laughing at how the judge is laughing his A.. off.. at him.. The child support division is responsible only for the support owed to the custodial parent and to do what they have to do to get him to pay. they will put a hold on his liscense and it will get a red flag.. so hopefully he has one already. if he doesnt make sure you keep in contact with the child support to keep them on their toes and give them all the info you have on him everytime you find something new .. call them .. it may take some time . but they dont go away and neither does the amount owed... the child support will give you a number for the Family law and they are the ones who will help you and they will tell you that if he gets any kind of visatation.. trust me . before that even happens.. a mediator will decide on how the the child is reacting to him I am not exactly sure but I know one thing . If you do this now.. at least you are the one in control . and they more than likely will make him pay for the expenses for what ever the costs it takes to get what you want.. I am only telling you what I know from my experience on the same situation. I have a great job and great benefits.. but now he owes me lots of money and guess what.. He was going to lose his job because his job required a valid liscense and he didnt know his liscense was revoked with a big red flag.. poor baby.. yeah right huh.. Now he pays me child support and back child support.. and you know why, because he had a job at some place well I found out about it I called the CS and told them where he was working and had friends take a pic.. as soon as I told them that they Investigated real quick .. they had called the Mother company in some other state and didnt have a ssn of him or his name.. but we had a pic of him working there.. the company in the other state did their investigating and yep it was him alright but not the same name or ssn.. They told him he has to quit and go to jail .. and they arrested him at work for false info and using someone elses ID.. some mumbo jumbo and he has that on his record.. so the CS gave him 1 month and told them to bring in 15 job apps that have to filled out and the business whom he gives his app to has to have a signature and a phone number to check each one.. and he had to go to court each week for six months and pay each time he went to court a fine or cost of court fee.. So today he is paying child support along with back pay and he has to provide her with med dent vision insurance and show proof of it and isnt aloud to cancel my daughter off his plan unless he becomes deceased.. He knows that I am not scared of him and he knows life gets a little rough messing with The MOMMY... I wish you all the best and its obvious that you are a great parent and you shouldnt feel threatend by him.. like I said .. I Dare him too.. I am here if you need to talk.. good luck.. and hey your a Great Mom.. Lisa

As for your question to visitation it really all depends on what county and state you live in they all have different rules and guildlines. Some only deal with child support matters and it is up to the father to sue for visitation. By the way most men who don't want to pay child support won't bother sueing for visitation.
I know your order of support seems very small and yes it is small. But let me tell you from my own expierience it is better to have a small order than to have no order. As long as you have somw type of order he will be in court for back child support if he does not pay. You will also be able to go after federal tax returns to get your back child support, unsure on state it varies from state to state. I have been unable to get a order of support for my son and he will be 10 in Feb and basically I am out of luck getting anything back since there is no order and his father can keep any tax returns he gets since there is no order.
As for you're concern for visitation talk to someone in your local child support hotline or call a lawyer and ask. More than likely with what you said the court will agree with supervised visitation until the child is older. BUt remember to keep a journal of everything when he calls if he ask about your child what he does for her in ordered. If he sets up a date to see her when and if he shows up, how late he is or long before the time you expect him did he cancel. Anything and everything regarding the father and your child, that way you have a record.
Also if you feel he will be in and out of your childs life and you are not ordered to allow visitation be careful. I have not had that expirience with my sons father but with my sons paternal grandmother. She moved away heard nothing for 3 years when she came back to Chicago and asked if she could be a part of my sons life I was hesitant however I agreed after she convinced me she would not"abandon my son" well after a year she moved back to florida it has now been 4 years and my son has not even gotten a card from her. The first words out of my little boys mouth when he realized NaNa wasn't coming back was " did I do something bad" So be very weary not because you want your baby all to your self but because you never want your child to feel as if she/ he did somehting wrong because of a grown person's actions or lack of.
Sincerely Sara