I can't help but feel so frustrated and angry sometimes. I am 21 years old with a 9 month old baby. I love him very much but it seems so unfair that I have to take all the responsibility. My ex-boyfriend (who is 24) and I were together 3 1/2 years and just moved in together when I found out I was pregnant. We were not planning it, but it happened. now almost 2years later I live by myself with the baby, work a part-time job, am still trying to go back to school (I was attending college and had to quit.)and My ex just lives his life like nothing happened!! He still goes out until 4am, parties etc. I love my son very much, he is everything to me and if I had to do it over again I would still have had him. He is a gift from God. But it seems so unfair that I have to take all responsibility and my ex gets next to nothing. Even if I ask him to watch him so I can have some time with my friends or so I can go to work, he usually gets his mother or a babysitter to watch him after I leave so he can go to the bar, or out with his friends.

When we were together I would have never guessed he would be this kind of a father. He was always the one who showed all the kids in the niebourhood how to rollerblade, or offered to babysit a mutual friends kids, what happened??

Your doing fine,

Its a hard road but the worth is priceless.

Start getting out like the movies, and stuff and bring your babe. You can do all your going out stuff with your babe and you'll meet others too. The park is a great place.

just keep the focus and your child and you.

God only gives us what we can handle.

Peace
Robin

I just wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel and it is nice to see that I am not alone in the feelings. I guess as time goes on we all learn to grow and adapt to these situations...just remember what you are getting to experience and what the ex is missing out on...that is how I do it!

I just wanted to say that I was you. And still sorta am my daughter is 7rs old and I homestly believe that I am a live for her, but her dad after he left me was and is still able to go and have fun and was able to meet a woman who he marries after two yrs of dating, we dated for 6yrs. Even if the juerk is getting someone else to watch the baby at least you're getting out of the house so try to enjoy it

I can soon see myself in that same position. My child is not born yet, and already my ex is going out, not even asking how I feel...he doesn't come with me to my doctor visits(even when we were together) and that makes me resent him. Men can just run from the situation and we have to take full responsibility!! Not fair. I wish they knew what we are going through...I feel so alone!

it seems this is the typical situaiton. my soon to be ex goes out all the time, drives a new sprts car and pays no rent. he spends money on his new interest whom he cheated on me with. she is the neighbor however and is married and has three kids so she gets the best of both worlds! i live in poverty and go without so my baby doesn't have to. I have tries to talk this out with him but he wants his life the way he wants it and that includes no responsibilty. men like these are the reason why women are the ones who can give birth otherwise we would have alot of abandonded children out there

Yep, girls have been there and done all of it. I have been divorced for about 3 years, raising two girls, 6 & 15 all on my own. I have no help from family or friends. I am completely on my own too. Ex lives about 10 minutes away but never helps out, always too busy, so on. But you know what, my girls will grow up to know that I was the one who was always there, through everything. They will no whom they can and can't count on and know that they too can and will be strong individuals who don't need to rely on anyone to make it. They are learning to become independent, content and happy girls. And most of that was because of me and I am sure they know that. You will adjust to your situation, learn to be happy with what you have & give your child the best upbringing you can. Our time will come.

wow It seemed like I was reading my own thoughts there. I know exactly how you feel. I am 25 and on my own with a 7 week old. It was my choice to leave my ex when I was 8 months pregnant, but I still expected him to be involved with everything from the birth to our daughters life. about a week before I was due His family started sending me nasty emails and accusing me of things that couldn't happen since I was in bed rest. then after the baby was born and my ex was served with papers for child support and what not. Emails got really nice.. His mom and sister ask to come and see her that was when she was a week old. Now my daughter is almost 2 months old and her father hasn't even seen her or met her yet. I'm glad I left him but I wish sometimes that he would be more involved.

I'm sure everyone feel that way at sometime or another. I don't really care though. See I feel that my life is better then his life. I'm happy and ajusted and feel my life is going somewhere. His is going no where and it never will. He lives irresposibly and only God will judge him. I can still party but not every night. WHO REALLY WANTS TO PARTY EVERY NIGHT! You forget that you can still party and get drunk every night and smoke pot and live off welfare... But you respect yourself enough to take your resposiblities seriously. We take more pride in our actions and work to make ends meet. GO TO SCHOOL! You can't live with shoulda woulda couldas all you life. Just go! Get aid close your eyes and ears and jump. Don't try to control what he does becuase it makes it harder on you. It you stop relying on him to be a good father then it will be easier to handle yourself and your son.

I know what you are going through, I am a single mom of 2 I have a 12 yr old son and a 12 mo old baby girl, I get no help from either father, I have no family here and not very many friends. I have to get state asst and that is not much, I am trying to go back to school to have myself a career, it is very hard due to the fact that when my children get sick, it is just me, NOONE else, my babies father lives around the corner from me, he was in her life for a time,but now has chose not to be,however he never pd support, he has 9 children, long story on that one, and 3 was born in a yr one being mine, now we have found out that there are 3 more that have filed against him so that brings it up to 12 kids now, and everyone of them in one form or another are getting state asst, there is something wrong with this picture, I can tell you all that there is a better outcome, have I seen it, NO, but I do know GOD and I know he will make sure we are okay, yes I have to go through major storms to get where I am going and no it is not always fair, but I have to keep my faith in God or I will loose my mind. I pray for each and everyone of you reading this, that God will touch you life in away that he has never before, that he will bring encouragement into your life, he will lead and guide you, bring people in your life who will uplift you and support you in what you do, I pray that God puts a hedge of protection around you and your children. And always remember during those very trying days that God chose YOU to be the mother of these babies and when you find yourself in this situation where you are at your witts end ready to pull your hair out, noone to talk to just call on God, all he wants you to do is reach out to him with just a little bit of faith...I will hush now, but I want you to know I love you all, you are my sisters in Christ!!!!

God Bless,
Theresa

I know exactly how you feel. Im 19 with a 2 month old baby girl. My ex left me while I was 9 months pregnant. He now has a new girlfriend and flying free.. he buys a pack of pampers every couple of weeks, thats about all I get. He has seen her all of 6 times in 10 weeks. He takes care of absoutly none of his responsibilities.I dont know I guess things will get better.. Im in the same boat you are. I never thought this would've ever happened to me. Im very sad about the whole situation with her dad and I.

To everyone on this post,

I have been in the same situation as all of you. A month after my son came home, my boyfriend at the time was going out every night, while I was home taking care of our preemie. finally after a month, I couldn't take it anymore. I made a tough decision and moved home to my parents. A week after I moved out, I found out that he started seeing someone. He lied about it for months. It took me almost 7 months to really get over it. I was with my sons father for 2 1/2 yrs. To imagine that someone you love can do this to you, is unimaginable. But I did what was right for the sake of my son. I was extremely depressed for months. It affected everything I did, but I will tell all of you that time will heal your wounds. My son knows who he can count on, and that is me. I could have never done it or have gotten where I am today, without the help of my parents. They were there when I needed them the most. My suggestion to all you ladies that feel you might be in that situation or are in that situation, is to save all your reciepts that you spend on that baby. Although my sons father and I are getting along, you never know what can happen. I don't completely trust him and I do that to protect me and my baby in case anything were to happen. Believe in yourself, and if they are doing this to you, they DO NOT deserve you. They always say that it takes anyone to be a father, but it takes a real man to be a father. All your baby needs is you. Good luck to everyone, and if anyone needs someone to talk to don't hesitate to email me. I am here for anyone who wants to talk. Erin