My ex just got off the phone with my daughter (6) and made her cry by saying that he knows she is lying to him. He asked what her what we had done this weekend. We did nothing special- so she said she paly with her friend. He kept pressuring her for more details, she could not remember so she asked me what we had done- I reminded her that we had watched some dvd's and worked on a puzzle. He said she must be lying since she needed me to coach her. He keeps calling back and asking to talk to her- she won't come to the phone right now. My son (8) has emotional issues because of his father. He really does not care if he sees his dad or not.
He does not want the kids and I to move on with our lives. He has threatened men I have gone out with- the police have spoken to him several times. We moved an hour away to get away from his control. I have already had to file harassment charges against him once. He says it is not his fault he called 15+ times in one hour- it was my fault because I would not tell him what he wanted to know. He feels he has the right to know about my presonal life "because that affects the kids."
Even before I found out what he had done to the children, he never wanted to take the kids for visitation- he only wanted to see all of us together. He would refuse to take the kids so that I could not go out with my friends. On the rare occasions he would take the kids for a few hours- I had to give him money to make sure he would feed his children something. Well now he has his wish. The kids revealed to me that he had touched them inappropriatly- the children were interviewed by CPS. They were so overwhelmed and young that they said nothing at the first interview- the only one admissible in court. At a follow up counseling session they told the case worker what dad had done in detail. He can not be prosecuted because it was not at the inital interview. I have arranged that all visits be supervised, but without any family in the area I have to be the supervisor.
He also refuses to take a job- because he does not want to pay child support. He lives with his niece and her 3 kids. He is mad because I would not give him money to take the kids somewhere this weekend.
I feel like I have done everything I can to allow him to have a positive relationship with his kids and he is not appreciative. I do not bad mouth him- the kids have seen for themselves what he is. He is just as controling now as when we were married. He is also just as rude. I wish he would never bother us again. I have tried to get a temporary restraining order- but one can not be issued unless he actually threatens to hurt one of the kids or myself or actually does it. He has worked with law enforcement and has yet been caught stepping over the line. What else can I do?

Hollybeach,

sounds like a horrible situation to be in. To protect yourself, document everything, daily.

If you get vonage, you can easily record phone messages and keep them on a file on your computer. (I'm not sure if it allows you to record phone conversations)

Have you thought about seeking protection yourself?

Check the laws in your state about recording phone and person to person conversations. Here in Oregon we can record phone conversations that we are a part of without the other person permission but not in person. The civil courts will sometimes admit in person recordings even if the other person didn't know it was recorded.

If you can record I use a Panasonic digital recorder that has a USB port and Radio Shack sells phone taps.

Is there professional supervision in your area there is here in Portland, he would have to pay and get some feedback on how he did.

It sounds like a bad situation for your kids, I know some about this if you check some of the post I have made and am dealing with DHS about what my ex is doing to my kids, but she has custody.

Keep us updated as to what happens.