Yeah, it is shocking. I can't believe I've been putting up with this for over a year. No wonder I've been so depressed. I went to see my own therapist through work and he thought it was crazy. I feared telling another social worker about it because I thought they would get each others backs, and maybe not believe me or call me crazy.
The child therapist has even sent me e-mails that my ex has sent her!! The way I see it, I am just going to use it to my advantage. Its like she gave me a heads up as to what he might try to say in court.
It is crazy though, isn't it. I've not felt right about it all along, but when I said I didn't want to make any more appts. in the beginning, I was accused of "not complying with the therapeutic process." Maybe I'll write a horror story about my experiences.

I wonder how come his therapist is emailing your therapist information your ex is giving him. Are they a tag team? I wonder if his therapist is even aware that your therapist is passing the info on to you. What other purpose does he have in giving it to her? They are both completely breeching confidentiality .. but it DEFINITELY benefits you. As long as you can trust them and that they're not tampering with the info your ex has written. Be careful what you believe in. Something doesn't sit right with me. Maybe she's trying to help you out.. I can understand that. But what's in it for his therapist? He's working from home in a one-bedroom apartment .. he could lose his liscense, couldn't he? Weird ..

I don't know the confidentiality laws about this sort of thing, but that's one of the first things I tried to find real information about to see how to proceed. With emails getting passed along like that it at least sounds like she is trying to keep you fully informed as to his antics. And if you have an ally in your daughter's therapist...you might not want to draw attention to it unless it's really needed and admissable in court if used.
And if it is permissable for that information to be passed to you...then it is probably being done in reverse, from you to him. Just be careful

quote:

Originally posted by Don:
And if you have an ally in your daughter's therapist...you might not want to draw attention to it unless it's really needed and admissable in court if used.
And if it is permissable for that information to be passed to you...then it is probably being done in reverse, from you to him. Just be careful

I have thought the very same thing. If she is doing it with me, what should make me think it isn't doing the same with him and my e-mails to her. I don't want to think so, but I have cut off e-mailing her unless absolutely essential. I was irritated at first, and I'd type back a rebuttal, but then I thought maybe she is sending me this info. without saying so, to help me.
She is totally on my side about getting the schedule modified. Told me my lawyer sent her a letter asking about it, and that she is all for it. That seems to be the most important thing in court. What the therapist thinks. It was her who recommended my time being cut off in the first place, and now I think she see's that that was a mistake. (which I had told her, but at that time, she really believed his lies. She is probably pissed at being played for a fool.)
I don't know what the laws are about it. No-one seems to want to touch it. It just doesn't seem right to me, what is going on. The therapist I saw on my own told me that if that is what I feel, then that is what I have to go by. He said, he wasn't trying to play therapist against therapist, but said, "I am right about this, and it is wrong." He empowered me to stand up about it. I am so glad I went to work where I did, had the opportunity to see this therapist, and have my feelings verified.
I am in no way going to mention anything that she told me, or e-mails she CC'd to me.
She also asked why did I have such a problem with e-mailing the ex with my work schedule as I had been doing, but stopped. I told her that he had said he didn't have time to "stalk" me, yet in May, I was out on my porch. (My car wasn't here, it was getting an oil change.) and there I see the ex pulling into the parking lot. He had so much nerve that he didn't even look up at my porch to see me looking right at him! I live on a dead end. He know's no-one else here. What other reason did he have to come here at 10am? So, I said, "If I give him my schedule, it just gives him the exact times for him to spy on me, doesn't it?" She was like, "OHHH! Now I see the picture."

Keep on keeping on. Some people are truly gifted at lieing and persuading others. Eventually their lies catch up to them with anyone that has to deal with it on a regular basis, and even then sometimes it takes a lot longer time than those that eventually see it would like to admit that they were fooled. The only ones they'll fool forever are the ones that aren't in touch and don't see it or deal with it on a regular basis. At least in your situation all the therapists etc. are dealing with it on a regular basis so even the best bullshitt artist won't fool them forever.

oh definitely be careful TheSaneOne.

Don makes a lot of sense and I'ld like to add... be careful about being baited into his lies, especially something that will assist his case.

When I have to go to court regarding my EX.... no communication seems best and, the less I say the more my EX seems to hang himself.

Now keep your chin up.

quote:

Originally posted by Tessmit:
When I have to go to court regarding my EX.... no communication seems best and, the less I say the more my EX seems to hang himself.

Now keep your chin up.

Thanks Tessmit.
I agree, and I have finally learned to cut off communication. He is really confused by my new behavior. He has e-mailed, called me and tried to do what has worked before. He called me yesterday, and I didn't answer it. I was worried, and hoped that it wasn't something about my daughter, but he would have left a message.
I gave him my direct work #, and I have been getting messages that are just hang ups. This must be killing him. All of this has all worked with me before... Ha ha ha.
I told him, things were going to come back to him. 2 more weeks to go. For the first time, I am not nervous. I think that its going to turn out ok. How could anyone not see what I see?

He called me again today. I was at work. I answered, just in case it was my daughter. I couldn't hear him clearly, but I think what he was saying was "Do we discuss this, or do we go to court?" I said "What?" 2 times, then I said "I can't understand you." and hung up.
I AM NOT BACKING DOWN THIS TIME.

Good for you.....

Ditto. He's made his own bed, now's his gotta lie in it, to mis-use a metaphor.