I just need to vvent for awhle- not really needing advice- I already know the answer- jsut deal with it and get used to it! My daughter called her father last week and asked him if he wanted to got o her teacher meeting this week- he said "N O no no no" she said/ I wasn't listening(becasue I think that is illegal- althoguh I have been tempted soemtimes) This weekend is his vistation and she asked me if she had to go because there is a party she can go to Saturday and then Sunday is trick or treating at the local nurisng home that her babysitter's realtive lives at. I told her to ask her dad and tell him what you rather do and then see if he minds not seeing you. ( why should he mind- he has only taking her about 8 weekends this whole year, but again trying to do something that not illegal- give him the choice). She called and he said to her (again through the voice of a 5 year old- a smart 5 year old but still a 5 year old) he said to her " do what you want I really don't care and hung up on her. So now she is hurt and crying because she feels like her dad doesn't care- she asked me if she could go next weekend to his house and I had told her if she wanted to call him later and ask if he wants her or if she still wanted to next weekend I will call him. How dare he hurts our little girl over and over again!

P.s. sorry for all the typos.

I am so sorry to hear that your daughter had to go through that. I think that is the hardest thing that a parent can watch is watching their kid get hurt like that. I hope things get better for both of your sakes.

Is it really illegal? My son is 5 and because of his age, I always listen to whatever conversation he is having with someone over the phone. I'll usually put them on speaker so that I can listen & whoever it is knows that I am listening. I know you weren't asking for advice, but I'd start doing all of the talking & asking on the child's behalf from now on. He shouldn't be allowed to talk to her like that.

i tryed the speaker phone, my ex heard it and thought was there private bussiness ,whart say between them self.iwas told he was right and ican not control what say to each other and i confront him on what my kids tell me he says to them.then trys dig up stuff he dont like what iam doing.iwas told it best leave alone.

I found this for you.. I dunno if it helps..
FCC guidelines

That's terrible what he's doing to her! People who play the children have no idea or no care about what they are doing to them in the long run. He's not fit to see her! Sorry, if I'm ranting but my son's dad was the same way, never changed. It was better if my son never knew him, the damage is done.

I hope things work out for the good.

Kim

Me and me,
I had a similar situation with my ex, but it was more along the lines of telling my youngyen that if she told me things that he would get in trouble. I am not sure if listening in is illegal, but I knw that taping conversations is inadmissable in court if they are not aware they are being recorded. It is very sad when a parent doesn't understand that possibly everything they do has potential to affect the life of a child. I guess it is easier for irresponsible people to think that it doesn't matter so they don't have to worry themselves about it. I hope things work out!

My daughters father is the same way. Almost every phone call leaves her crying. It really stinks that there is not much we can do about it. I've told the courts, the therapist, they repremand him and then he just keeps doing it. I agree that its very sad that the ones who get hurt arent even old enough to understand what's going on.

I sympathize with your situation. I was out in school this last week and had to come back on Wednesday morning because the so called mother of my children decided to take my kids out of school and take them to stay somewhere they did not want to go. My daughter who is 17 brought them back home and the mother kept on going where she wanted to go. My kids are 17, 9 and 7. When the kids went back to school the next day one of the teachers heard that the kids were home alone and was forced to call the DHS people. They were at the school the next day to take them. Luckily I got back home from my business trip in time or they would have been in foster care. What a wonderful way for 2 young boys to be taken out of school. I am so angry at her. She still has made no effort to come home. I am very confused about this situation. I don't know how someone could do this to a child.

Hello atwitsend....your daughter is only 5? Well that young perhaps the conversations should be between you and dad. She shouldn't have to be put in the position of telling dad she does not want to go....I didn't allow my boys' dad to ask the boys...he had to go thru me. Since he wans't paying child support and he didn't see the boys on a consistant basis, he could see them on my terms. And if the boys didn't want to go with him...he didn't make them. It just might make it a lil easier on everyone if the conversations of if daughter goes to visit or not should be with mom n dad.

I wish u luck tho...I know it hurts!!

so what do you do when dad doesnt return your phone calls and when he does call only will speak to a 7 year old or he verbally abuses mom? please make suggestions because Im exhausted of the whole thing.

He said that?! To a 5 year old?! I just cant believe it. What a selfish B*st*rd. I have a five year old daughter. She would be crushed. My heart goes out to you. I dont know what the laws are regarding this, but I would never put my daughter on the phone with him again. I think it is also important to recognize that a five year old may interpret things much more harshly than they were said. (Not that his intent is any better) I think it's better if you act as a filter between them as much as possible to keep her from getting her heart broken. If he wants to say hurtful things or be heartless he can say them to you and not to her.