My son's father apparently is moving in with his girlfriend. Which he is telling his parents now is a friend, before he has called her girlfriend... I don't know (shrug) He is 45

this is what I know:

her name is Angie

she is a waitress at Kelsey's

she is a bingo junkie

she has a young baby - some where around a year old. The baby lives part time at her parents. Which kinda makes sense if she is waitressing late until closing.

That is it.

I have no issue at all with him being with someone. It is good to keep him occupied.

I do seem to be upset over this unknown individual now apparently will be playing a role in my son's life.

My son's father hasn't told me yet and he is apparently moving on the 19th.

My son hasn't been told anything about it.

My son's father is very irresponsible over all in life.

He is a compulsive liar and a sociopath (I never spell that correctly) Sigh - which ever term means his feels no remorse or conscious for the harm his actions do to any one else. I can't remember the exact words the psychiatrist used, but you get the point.

I have been fine with him taking Joey over night the one or two times a month so far because it has always been at his parents and I know Joey is loved and well cared for there by his grandparents. Now this is a entire new situation and it is so full of unknowns that it is very scary.

he told his sister and his parents he is moving last weekend. No one has met this person or really wants too. They want to be done with him and his problems, but are mad because he has leached off his parents for the 2 1/2 years since I sold the house. He owes everyone major dollars, yet now can afford to go move and pay rent.

I highly doubt it will last once this person lives with him. He is pretty good at lying, and manipulating but I doubt she is in a position to take on him and all his problems once she is living with him.

I just know my little guy is going to be affected by this and I doubt in a good way. I see major turmoil in our future.

So come on gang - give me some input.

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to want to meet this person before you allow your son to go over there over-night. Would the grandparents be willing to keep him overnight and have dad come over there to visit with him, until you feel comfortable with her? Your son really doesn't need to see dad with several different ladies because he wears them out with his irresponsibility.

Thanks Scoutmom
He is not into relationships, so that is why it is surprising. He is a con man at the core. Always scheming.
I am sure the grand parents will cooperate if it comes to that. I just know he is so self focused that his attention is not on my little guy when they are together. My son often tells me of watching tv or playing by himself or with one of his grandparents while his dad sleeps on the sofa.

My son's dad is such a mess that I am hoping that once they are living together she sees what he is really like and he moves back with his parents.
Awful of me to wish that on his mom and dad, but I am thinking of my son and his safety and best interest. Without an idea of who this gal is I just can't turn over my 8 year old. I know what comes with my son's dad. This gal can not have a real idea yet, and when she does and experiences the chaos. I don't want my son exposed to the turmoil and fallout.
Funny thing is now that my initial shock is a couple hours old I am feeling sorry for this woman. I have know idea who she is, but I sure know him and I know how he is capable of bringing chaos into peoples worlds.
I have this image of a young single mom hoping for a fresh start and ... well this is not going to be it.
I hope she is able to get him out of her life sooner than I was able too. for everyones sake.

I even hate to say this, but I have promised myself to try and call them the way I see them. I sence some resentment to this other female being there. Your ex, your going to have to deal with as long as your child is young, and beyond. I am not sure, but I sence something hidden, down deep, a feeling if you will. hmm, I maybe wrong. peace

Feelings regarding him with someone else, nope.
Really that isn't it.
Paul this is someone who has nothing in his soul that I appreciate. I am embarrassed to acknowledge a connection to him. He is a real con man, that is not just a label I gave him.
He came intro my life at a point of major change and chaos. If my life had been at a different point and time was not a race I probably would have had a clearer look at him. I took him as he presented and didn't know look a heck of a lot further.
Long story and hard to explain. (a major part was I was in my late twenties and fighting cancer) I had many things I wanted to have done before I left.
Including being loved, married having a child etc...
I married the wrong person, but I survived and have a great son.
The new woman will be playing a role in my son's life. Good, bad, indifferent. (shrug) I take his well being and stability very seriously.
He is a happy, bright well adjusted child at this point. He is my priority. My son's dad is 45 and not self sufficient in very many ways.
SO by default the time I allow my little guy there will be in the care of a stranger.
I think it is more a issue of turning him over to a stranger.
haha- self examination am I a control freak? in most area of life not at all, I go with the flow. Try to fix what I can, but safety of my son and his world - oh yes I am in a big way.
This past week I had to hire a babysitter for an hour after school for three afternoons. He has never had a babysitter in his life out side of family members. SO there you go.
I do appreciate your input because it makes me look at it from a different angle.

damage control. That is now my direction.

lol, I think damage control is all of our goals.

trying to be calm here.

I was speaking to my sister in law about stuff just now and she told me her brother my ex husband officically moved yesterday.
He has my son.
He was living at his parents home.
I called his cell phone to see when he is returning my little guy and it is turned off.
He took my child to this new home which I didn't know existed and I have no address, no phone number. nothing.
thrusday when we spoke he said he would bring Joey back before dinner time. It is 3:30 now.

I rarly prey, but I do now for you.

thanks Paul

this is a very very long hour

I am sure it is, be of good faith.

In all the time we were together Sunday dinner was on the table by 5 pm.

It is after 5 now and so he is late bringing my little guy home.
he has never once in 2 1/2 years been late in returning him. Always early.

I have no idea where he lives
I have no phone number
his cell phone is saying the mobile customer you are calling is currently unavailable.

When can I panic... I do not want to over react but this , this is beyond pushing the boundaries

Harmony...have you heard anything yet,thinking of you here.Maybe you should give the sister a call and get more details from her.Just a thought.