My ex-husband pays $350 per month support for 2 teenboys. His income this past year has more than tripled and he has given his girlfriend over $10,000 cash. He promised to help out financially with my boys school clothes, etc., but he has not. He has no expenses because he is stationed in Iraq. We have corresponded by email and he tells me he loves his kids, but whenever I tell him about a problem with the kids, he blames me. I am a single mom, living from paycheck to paycheck (living on $1200 per month) and struggling to survive and support my kids. He knows the situation, but just ignores it. Yet, he expects the kids to write to him and can't understand why they don't want anything to do with him. This is not because of me saying bad things about him. It is because he has never been there for them, when he was in town or now in Iraq, especially when there was a problem. I've been supportive of him since he has been in Iraq and writing him and trying to encourage him, because I know how dangerous his situation is and done everything I can to be a friend to him. He promised to send some money for clothes for the kids and to help with the bills, but he has not. Am I wrong to be angry about this and the fact that he has sent $10,500 to his girlfriend? We have divorced for 4 years. He met this woman and had an affair with her while we were married and still wanted to stay married to me. I tried everything to keep the marriage together and lived with him seeing her and living with me and the kids for a year, back and forth he went to her for 2 weeks and then me for 2 weeks, until I just couldn't take it anymore.

He says his kids mean everything to him but yet he can not help us out financially.
Am I wrong to expect him to help?

no, you're not wrong for expecting to have help with money. hello if he can send his poor dear gf that much money then his kids, who mean the world to him, should have just as much if not more. you are being a friend and supporting him after what he did you wow. it shows that you are a bigger person. maybe if you stopped being so nice then maybe he would realize that his children need help.

so expect it and ask for it. i know how it feels i make $800.00 a month and live from paycheck to paycheck. i know what it's like to struggle. my heart goes out to you. and raising two teen boys wow LOL you are one strong woman!

good luck to you and i hope you get what you and your boys deserve.
smvt

Hey
This may sound wrong but if he really cares for them then give him an ultimatom his choice if he wants his kids to love him and respect him then he has to start with the mother he has to show responsibility for them meaning everything..money, clothes, education, you name it. why should you be a friend to him if he cant offer resonable support to you..

You are not wrong at all, he should pay more, and if he is in the Army the army will be on your side with that. They are really hard on deadbeat dads. I can see you supporting him since he is fighteing for our country but you have your own war at home. Two teenage boys!!! The girlfriend, well she is just a loser and that is a nother book that I will not touch at the moment! go after him for more money the more he makes the more he has to give!! God bless you

quote:

Originally posted by smvt:
[qb]no, you're not wrong for expecting to have help with money. hello if he can send his poor dear gf that much money then his kids, who mean the world to him, should have just as much if not more. you are being a friend and supporting him after what he did you wow. it shows that you are a bigger person. maybe if you stopped being so nice then maybe he would realize that his children need help.

so expect it and ask for it. i know how it feels i make $800.00 a month and live from paycheck to paycheck. i know what it's like to struggle. my heart goes out to you. and raising two teen boys wow LOL you are one strong woman!

good luck to you and i hope you get what you and your boys deserve.
smvt[/qb]

Hi smvt,
thank you so much for your support and sorry that it took me so long to get back to you but I am new at this and it took me a while to figure out. It sure feels good to see that someone has the same opinion then I do. I did try everything but it seems like he always has another excuse. I did ask him for school clothes money but his reply was "it's kind of hard to do anything from over there". Shortly thereafter I found out that he send her a $8000.00. That is when I decided to go on this forum and hear somebody elses opinion. I am just hoping that what comes around goes around for both of them. Thanks again for listening. Gisela

quote:

Originally posted by L:
[qb]Hey
This may sound wrong but if he really cares for them then give him an ultimatom his choice if he wants his kids to love him and respect him then he has to start with the mother he has to show responsibility for them meaning everything..money, clothes, education, you name it. why should you be a friend to him if he cant offer resonable support to you..[/qb]

Thank you so much for responding to me. The respect thing to me. In his book that does not exist. The only thing he ever does is beat me down for anything and everything that goes wrong with the boys. He is the good dad and has never done anything wrong.
Gisela

quote:

Originally posted by Destinys mom:
[qb]You are not wrong at all, he should pay more, and if he is in the Army the army will be on your side with that. They are really hard on deadbeat dads. I can see you supporting him since he is fighteing for our country but you have your own war at home. Two teenage boys!!! The girlfriend, well she is just a loser and that is a nother book that I will not touch at the moment! go after him for more money the more he makes the more he has to give!! God bless you[/qb]

Thank you so much for your reply. It is greatly appreciated. Yes I do know that the army frowns on deadbead dads. I was married to him for 13 years and out of those 13 years he was 11 years active. But I am living from paycheck to paycheck and it is expensive to get a decent lawyer. He is only in the army reserves and only active while he is over in Iraq. As far as the girlfriend goes. I agree a 100%. No character there. To selfish to think twice about destroying someone elses family. But comes around hopefully will go around some day. Thank you again for your support.
Gisela