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Hello, I am just writing a quick question to get some feedback. My daughter's grandmother, from his side, was there for my daughter and myself for the first few months of her life and then he threw a fit and told her to stop seeing us. Well after 5 months, a DNA test, court and her having nothing to do with us, she wants back. He has just started paying child support and I still have no contact with them. She has tried to set up a meeting through his aunt, who has stayed by me the whole time, and I think that was low to not try and phone me herself. She has really hurt me and it is really hard for me to swallow that she was so there for us and saw us all the time and then nothing. Keep in mind that I never talked bad about her son and kept her out of the whole messy split. I also trusted her with a lot of things, including my daughterand now that he is done his little fit and the test proved she was his she wants back. I don't want to take away my daughters family from her, but she still hasn't tried to talk to me. I told his aunt that I needed to speak to the grandma before there was any sort of meeting and nothing. This was a few weeks ago. I am trying to do the right thing and if anyone thinks I am being a bitch for not phoning her myself, some people have told me that, then please tell me. I only want what is best for my daughter. Thank you so much for listening. Jayme
Posts: 121 | Location: Vancouver Island Canada | Registered: 11 August 2003
Hey Girl Dont feel bad my son has no grandparents as far as im concerned. My parents died when i was twelve and my ex's Mother is a big B**"! By all accounts. Dont feel bad if she really wants to get to no your child let her do all the running its only fare after all that has happened and the way she has treated ye both..Do what you thinks best and not what other people think.. L.
Posts: 15 | Location: Cork | Registered: 12 November 2003
you are bigger than I am. I have told his mom how I feel about him being a dead beat loser, maybe that is not right, but I am tired of the blame for us not getting along. If I was you I would make her call you... YOu have done your best to take care of your child 24-7 adn she has the idea to not talk to her grandaughter for a scum like son!! No WAY.. If his mom stoped seeing my daughter because of something he said or did, then she would have to come back pleading, my daughter is worht more than that then to be turned on and off like a light!!! And you deserve the respect, I mean you are doing not only your part but her sons as well, the son she raised!!! Good luck to you honey andn if they think you are a B**$h than so am I.
Posts: 204 | Location: Indianapolis | Registered: 11 September 2003
Hey ...here it goes ..plain and simple... Do always what is best for your child. Easy said than done, I know. But there should be nothing more important that the life you are responsible for. children are supposed be protected). Leave your emotions, feelings and even desires aside and be there for your child.
Posts: 2 | Location: Newbury Park, CA | Registered: 04 December 2003
Oh....my....gosh.... I totally know what you are going through. My situation is slightly different with the ex's mom but there are quite a few similarities. The ex's mom has really hurt me but she wants to be the best grandma in the world now.... Personally I don't want her to have anything to do with my child's life, but that's because of me. So I have to question myself and figure out if what is best for my son is having her a part of his life. Boundaries..... Those need to be set and lived by, and you get to set them because you are the mother. Be willing to work with the grandmother and by all means talk to her before anything happens. You may, just as I must, have to take the "first step," be the "bigger person," and I hate that I have to do that but because I know that my child's father is going to be a presence in his life and consequently the ex' family will be in my son's life then I figure hey...might as well find some common ground, work through our difficulties as ADUTLS (she views me as a child and one that ruined her son's life) so that when you do have to be around each other it is not a stressful situation for my child. If you need to talk I'm here. Like I said, I know how you feel and what you are going through. Best of luck! Melissa
Posts: 323 | Location: Oklahoma | Registered: 08 December 2002
You are not a bitch in any way in my opinion. This woman has to get a hold of you on her own without anyone else's help. If she loves her granddaughter and wants to see her she needs to phone you and tell you. It is not anyone elses place to get her to get a hold of you. She is a grown woman who can think for herself and if she doesn't get in touch with you then that is her own loss.
Posts: 196 | Location: Saint Louis, MO | Registered: 02 November 2003
Originally posted by JG: [qb]Hello, I am just writing a quick question to get some feedback. My daughter's grandmother, from his side, was there for my daughter and myself for the first few months of her life and then he threw a fit and told her to stop seeing us. Well after 5 months, a DNA test, court and her having nothing to do with us, she wants back. He has just started paying child support and I still have no contact with them. She has tried to set up a meeting through his aunt, who has stayed by me the whole time, and I think that was low to not try and phone me herself. She has really hurt me and it is really hard for me to swallow that she was so there for us and saw us all the time and then nothing. Keep in mind that I never talked bad about her son and kept her out of the whole messy split. I also trusted her with a lot of things, including my daughterand now that he is done his little fit and the test proved she was his she wants back. I don't want to take away my daughters family from her, but she still hasn't tried to talk to me. I told his aunt that I needed to speak to the grandma before there was any sort of meeting and nothing. This was a few weeks ago. I am trying to do the right thing and if anyone thinks I am being a bitch for not phoning her myself, some people have told me that, then please tell me. I only want what is best for my daughter. Thank you so much for listening. Jayme[/qb]
Posts: 121 | Location: Vancouver Island Canada | Registered: 11 August 2003
Thank you so much for your replies. It helps when you get feedback from others. I must run, but I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your comments! Jayme
Posts: 121 | Location: Vancouver Island Canada | Registered: 11 August 2003
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