She broke up with me in June, and is moving out this weekend. We haven't had "coffee" since June and we've had a few kisses since then though.

I can't get her out of my mind. For everything she's done to me, or not done, why can't I expunge her from my thoughts and emotions?

I've been trying to figure it out. Is it a physical thing, I've always loved her for her and her body (our amount of coffee has dropped over time though). I can't stand the thought of her with anyone else. I can't believe I'm going to be without her. I can't believe she's leaving. I know it will take time and I have told her I want things to be fixed between us, but it's not what she want's "right now". She says it's too late. I think she's gotten into something with this house that she's going to use to say we can't get back together.

ARRGGGGHHHH.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

Chris

Vent away, we all need to from time to time.

Things may seem bad now, but you will eventually move on. I know how hard it is to believe that right now though.

Welcome Chris,

Trust me, we've all been there a time or two.....or three. Speaking from experience here, it will get better. Just stay strong and keep your head up.

-Joey

Yep, I've been working on it since June. The reality of it is kicking in though. Final countdown and what not. I assume, that it's kind of like sitting on death row and my time is coming this weekend (metaphorically speaking of course).

She says she's under a lot of pressure and why can't I support her and be happy for her. Uh, maybe because you cheated on me, broke up our family, have been doing as you please for the past 5-6 months, won't work with me for what I believe to be a greater good ...

And yet, I still want to be with her. I am proud of her, but told her I can't support her decision to break up our family.

I know this is the right thing for us, it's been a long time coming. I just have to get over the hump of worrying about the effects on my little girl. Is it better we stay or break up? All that stuff.

One day at a time, I suppose.

"This too shall pass ..."

We have all been there(at least once). The beginning of the end is the hardest part.

yeah, the end. only it's doesn't end does it. not when that other person is around.

even though I don't want to be a single parent, I'm so happy to have my daughter!!!

Letting go is not easy, but sad to say that letting go is something you will be faced with so your daughter sees you happy...both of you happy...in the end, that is all your daughter will want, is both your happiness and both of you living the life you want..kids don't like to see parents suffer.

My opinion only though.

I understand that. I have to stop being down around my daughter. I'm pulling myself up and starting to be happier around her.

She's such a happy kid, and it amazes me how resilient she can be to all of this. I used to take my strength from my ex. I think it will be good for me to change that a bit, and build strength with me and my daughter. Something no one will ever be able to break.

She moved out yesterday. I thought it would be harder than it was, but all in all it was a good day.

The house is too empty though. Then she called a few times last night, and texted me when she went to bed. I could tell she was crying. However, today she's back to being her stoic self.

I'm on the fence of letting go and moving on or waiting and see what comes. I'm not ready to start anything new, but I'm not ready to just turn my back on her.

You have a beautiful poem on your signature Chris. I'm sure that as your poem says that you can endure, you will indeed. Keep your head up, things will get better

Thank you Dawn. I've been weathering the storm since May. This is just a huge difference. The house is empty, funds are low (will get by though), and everything seems so boring. I don't even want to play games on the computer or watch much tv. I'm sure I'm on the brink of a break down, or depression. I just need to focus and take each day as it comes.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just such a long dang tunnel.

It's good that you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Means you're not focusing on your problems and you know that things will get better. I've been through the tunnel myself... and yes there is light at the end of it because I'm finally out of the tunnel and in the light. You'll be soon out of the tunnel yourself so hang in there and keep going.

I could say all the things everyone says. You've heard it all. I know because I've heard it all. Perhaps those things people say are true. But you're in a place now where it's hard to see the truth (the end of that tunnel).

You aren't on the brink of depression. You are there! Depression almost feel like nothing, just numb and empty beyond imagination.

You're right, focus on every day as it comes. The empty house is one of the toughest things to face. Force yourself to get out, socialize find something. Empty house for me is often wandering around feeling lost ... without purpose No matter how hard it is to push yourself out of the rut, just try. Last time I was in Illinois there were many friendly people there.

At the begining of the thread I see that she needs to go but your not sure if you want to let her go.
I can say from experience in being the one that wants to leave that it is not really about you. I also see that she is the one who has done wrong with the cheating. Mine was the opposite. He cheated and still does from the 3rd day after we got married until TODAY!
What I do not understand is if he can't be a husband why the heck does he want me around?
I wonder if I am going through depression also because I feel so completely empty inside. I am going through the motions of everyday life without any joy at all. I get up and lay around until its time to go to work then when I am at work here I am in the forum then I go home and go back to bed. Depression?? Maybe.
I have a fear that when my baby is born that I am going to still be so angry that I will not "want" him because I hate his dad so much.
Only time will tell but I don't want to end up like one of these crazy people on the news who just snap. I have always been pretty much a together person but now I just don't even feel like me.
OK sorry to hijack your thread.

Yes, depression feels like ... nothing, just empty. I think that's why many depressed people hurt themselves - just to feel something.

I think men view cheating in a different way. Love and loyalty to a family can be independent of cheating to men. Now I never did that myself. When given the opportunity just the thought of what that would do to my wife was enough to negate the desire.

Now my ex on the other hand, she announced what she was about to do as her boyfriend's car pulled up in front of our house to pick her up. In her mind she didn't cheat but I find the outright backstabbing betrayal to be far worse than anything called cheating. I'd have preferred cheating to the sound of his car speeding away that night. That's the moment I began to feel the empty nothingness but I was also in shock and had my kids to take care of.

Jen, I hope you can find it within yourself to do what you need. You may be better off being on your own. Whatever you do just be rational. Make decisions with a logical and clear head. It's not easy.

Needforjoy, get out and try to have some fun with your new freedom. I know you are afraid and don't have a place in the world yet. It feels like a would full of happy couples out there and just you. But that's not really the case. She's not coming back. She won't come back until perhaps you don't want her anymore.