I would not get back with my daughters father if given all the money in the world. It was an emotional train wreck. Having said that he just got engaged this weekend and they are having a baby. I was at first ok with hearing the news. Since he had told me he was going to marry her. Well lastnight I could not sleep and today I was so upset over it. WHY??? Someone please explain this to me. I can ramble off thousands of reasons for us to be apart and why we would not work out. Why and I upset about it? I can honestly say it hurts as if I wonder why I was not "good enough" But why do I care when I know I do not want him????

my guess is that you are seeing him try to make it work with someone else. perhaps doubting yourself b/c how is she different or how are they different?

i dread the moment warren tells me he has decided to spend his life with someone else. i know that we should not be together, but i also know that we had dreams .. i had dreams and after that happens ... well ... you know

I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling right now. I am pregnant and have just been trying to prepare myself for the what if's like the ones you are describing, and it hurts to even think of it. Even though I know he is the biggest jerk-face. Anyway, just know that you have others that feel the same way you do. But I think this is a phase that will pass, if you get involved in a serious relationship. Once you find the guy that treats you the way you deserve to be treated (assuming that is why you two didn't work out and assuming that you are not already in a serious relationship) you will be glad that you let that go. I watched a movie and the guy in the movie said, I don't know why you women stress out over these men, and then once you get over it you see them walking down the street a while later and you say to yourself "WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING".

Think of it this way: You weren't "not good enough for him" but your too good for him. If he really is a jerk off then he need to marry somebody who would tolerate his jerk off behavior. You wouldn't tolerate his jerk off behavior hence why you're not together. A friend told me that, and it helps with my weird obsession that is similar to yours.

I completely understand how you are feeling. In my opinion I feel like no matter how much you know you are not supposed to be together, you have put, time energy and at one point in your life, love into that relationship. When something like an engagement comes into the picture with your ex, it is almost as if you know that chapter will be closed. It is completly over, which is good, but sometimes that final feeling can be overwhelming.

Thanks everyone so much for the advice. It helps me so much to know others feel the same way. I know I'm not going crazy. I have never felt this way before about an ex. I never fully understood that having a child with someone would emotionally keep you attached even though I thought I wasn't. I knew all the other parts but not this part. SO thanks so much for opeing up and letting me knwo I am not alone!

Bunny,

I think this is good for you because it is forcing you to have closure on your relationship. I think your feeling this way because somewhere somehow you did not have full closure on your seperation with him. And with him starting over, it brought it all back up to the table...it will pass.

How are things Bunny?

spc I have been feeling good. You are right. It passes. There are days it bothers me alittle but it lessen with time. I know I'm better off. Thanks so much for asking.

It's good to see that you are feeling better bunny

anybody tell you your daughter's wicked cute?

many years ago during my divorce, i read this article that said that its easier to get over the death of a spouse than it is divorcing one. i believe that -

i agree, it is nuts to feel bad when you see the ex get married again - no matter if you would go back to them or not. but it still burns a bit. i felt the same way you did. i felt like i was being compared against the guy she left me for. he is/was a morally corrupt person, i was shocked.

of course around her 3rd marriage, i really didnt care anymore and it hit me that i should not have been comparing.

don't feel bad Bunny, you feel bad because (from where i sit) you are a good hearted person that was put in a bad spot.

I kind of feel the same way when I see my sons father,few and far between times,like I miss something about him.I wouldn't want to start a relationship with him for anything but when he's around it's like old feelings come back a little bit.I think it has a whole lot to do with having a child together.There's a bond there.The memories come back to comfort you or to haunt you,I haven't figured out which one yet.

Yes it sure is a process that's for sure.

Hey Bunny..I have an idea...find a hot looking rich male and I dunno, show him what he's missing.

LOL

I feel you. It's kind of funny and I can't believe I am admitting this...but were among friends. Seeing Jeremy and Jennifer (my daughters father whom I haven't seen in 6 yrs b/c he hasn't been in her life) was very hard on me. I had so many memories that came flooding back, and honestly even though they have been together for soooo many years (since I was pregnant with Taylor) it bothered me to see them holding hands and being affectionate with eachother. It's almost like they are the "perfect little family" when Taylor is with them. It irritates me, but on the other hand...I don't want him, nor do I like the he is a big cocky alpha male (no offense guys) So...hang in there, it's all we can do!!!