So I am having a hard time. I just let my ex take my son for his first visitation and it is harder than I thought. I have so much I need to do but I can't seem to make myself.

Perhaps take your time getting accustomed to your son not being there, and remember, this is YOUR time. It is strange at first but hopefully can be a regular/good thing for everyone. I would be pleased if my daughter and her mom were doing regular visitation, they did for a short while last year...every other weekend...and it allowed me time to do ME things. *sigh* now my ME time is very rare again.

Oh how I remember those first few visits away.
I was lost. I didn't know what to do as me for me. I was so used to never having me time.

Now visits away are few and far between and my son is a mature 9 year old so I worry a lot less.

I have come to so very much enjoy some time to that is mine to indulge in things I never could do before.

It takes time I think to adjust to it but when you do get to a comfortable point it is a real treat.

Thanks. He came home fine. My ex did throw a fit about everything. He even threatened to key my boyfriend's truck (even though he didn't know it was his truck for sure). Yeah I made it through and my boyfriend came over and spent some time with me and took me to dinner. He told me the same thing you guys did, that this was time for me. I guess I will try to take advantage of it.