How do you deal with feeling you got the short end of the stick. I don't want to sound selfish, I love my daughter with all my heart and I would never give her up. But I can't stand that I am at home taking care of her all the time while he is out go to dinner, movies, etc. I hardly afford the food from the grocery store...then dinner out. When will it become my turn. How do I get over feeling like this. I don't like feeling this way, and I don't want it to effect my daughter...any help???

No, its not fair. It burns me up that my goals and dreams are on the back burner - not to mention my social life (!) - while my ex is off doing as he wishes, buying what he wishes. But the truth is, when I get right down to it, I wouldn't trade places with him for the world either. But still, I wish he had to sacrifice more so that I would have to sacrifice less. Child support sucks - if _my_ child support payments were based upon 17% of our joint income I'd only be spending $205 a month on my daughter. Ha Ha. That's less than the cost of rent for an extra bedroom. I wish payment were based upon real costs rather than income... yeah right. I wish I could tell you how I got over feeling like this, but I haven't yet. I just do the same thing you probably do- look into my child's smiling eyes (when she's not throwing a fit that is) and tell myself that she's worth it. Anyone with more experience got a way to get over this? I'm all ears too.

alamama

It is definately not fair. My H is living out of state, and I am alone raining our 2 daughters. A 2.5 yr ofla and a newborn is not an easy task. Add stressing about finding work for I was a stay at home mom, and having enough money is awful.
I didnt use ex cause he hasnt filed for legal anything. I remember when I was having our 2nd daughter and he had to watch our 2 yr old by himself he was always yelling and told me several times he doesnt see how I do it. If that is such the case where is his ass now. I think it isnt fair a lot of non custodial parents dont want anything to do with a child hardly until the child is older and has perfect manners. I feel hurt I wont be able to come and go when the mood hits, or have the leisure to just go to a store alone when I want to..without having to arrange a sitter. Its his lose though when my little girl hugs me and tells me I am the best, and she chants "I luuuuv Mommaaa". I know what she knows she knows because I taught her, and I will teach her sister too. Life isnt always balanced, but in the end the scale will tip in your favor.

New mom and ala momma

All I can say is that I have been there. How is it fair that they have there freedom but we dont have a life period. I agree with you alamomma. The only way I got through this was what you posted. I looked into my childs smiling eyes and realized that he is missing out on the best things in life, and it is our son. He can never get that back and he will realize maybe not now, but someday he will realize how he made such a big mistake, and they can never get that back. Draw your strength from that little baby that sits in front of you. I kept telling my self that my son is important and that he is what I needed to focus on. I got my strength from him. He pulled me through it, and now Im extremely happy. Things will all work out in the end. Everything happens for a reason! Erin